Community Chat

[ECBG]

There are some questions you're supposed to be asked which can be used with observation.  You can do this with your regular MD, you don't have to go to a counselor.

You deserve a life.  I'd call something like Visiting Health Professionals or what ever you have in that area and get a companion.  There are a lot of retired nurses that aren't working that would love to do that and give you some of your life back.

[excpa]

I spend so little time on housework lately that I would love to have your psychiatrist tell me it's OK.  She sounds like another lazy doctor (have you actually seen her license to practice?).  They seem to be getting worse...more control freak and less other-people oriented.  That's why I have shut them out of my life.  Back to the housework question:  I have recently taken to disposable, microwave safe cups and Batchelor's cup-a-soup packets.  Housework is boring.  I'm doing one of the free "learn a language" courses on-line.   (I'm retired, not depressed, not bored, just marking time until whenever.)  Find another doctor or start drinking...or both.

[Scooby Doo]

Your primary care physician is very capable of writing a prescription for anti depressants.  A couple of years ago there was a big push for doctors to look for depressed adults and medicate them.  Just remember, you may not like the side effects of the drug, and it may not be the "fix all" that you're looking for.  You still have the same problems to deal with.

[SaRina]

I would have to disagree @Scooby Doo.  PCPs do not have the same knowledge of emotional/mental disorders as psychiatrists, even as psychologists do.  Plus, PCPs are much too quick to pull out the prescription pad, more often than not filling scripts for no other reason than the patient has asked them to.  This is wrong and potentially harmful to the patient.

[Tyak]

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@Brinklii wrote:

I've been my 91 y. o. mother's caregiver for 5 years. Lately, I have just fizzled out. I knew I was depressed. It reached the point that I don't do much every day. I cook my mother's breakfast, and basically just sit around the rest of the time. It's a major effort to do any cleaning, run errands, etc. I only load the dishwasher or vacuum when things get really bad or when someone is coming over. I knew I was depressed. My siblings don't live anywhere near here, so I get no help.

So, I made an appointment with a psychiatrist to get on an antidepressant. She told me that nobody does housework until things get really bad or someone is coming over. Neither she nor her friends clean the house until they are desperate! I told her that I used to always keep the house neat as a pin, run errands, answer mail in a timely matter...and that my friends do also. She said that that is not normal, and that they are over-achievers. She did not think I needed an antidepressant. I told her that I am depressed. She told me just to take walks. I already do this.

So am I bonkers, or is the psychiatrist?

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I think the shrink needs to  see a shrink.

[ChynnaBlue]

I spend as little time cleaning as possible and, as she said, rush to clean if someone comes over. That's totally normal for me.

But you have a change of pattern in your behavior and are now doing something that's not normal for you. You recognized that and she did not, which is a shame.

But I will say this - she didn't rush to medicate you, and that's can be a good thing. Medication works really well for a LOT of people, but a lot of people do better with talk therapy, other types of cognitive therapy, or a combination of meds and therapy. Given that you have no siblings for help and it sounds like you lack a close support system, I would go back to talk to her again or choose another doctor and try talk therapy and see if you also need medication or want to drop talk therapy and just do meds.

I've tried both at different points and at some points where I was just tired and worn out, talk therapy was better than the medication. Other times the medication was better. Don't assume that she was wrong just because most doctors are quick to prescribe medication.

I don't think EITHER of you are bonkers.

[winamac1]

I do not spend enough time. 

I hate cleaning.

[Mominohio]

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@terrier3 wrote:

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@Brinklii wrote:

I've been my 91 y. o. mother's caregiver for 5 years. Lately, I have just fizzled out. I knew I was depressed. It reached the point that I don't do much every day. I cook my mother's breakfast, and basically just sit around the rest of the time. It's a major effort to do any cleaning, run errands, etc. I only load the dishwasher or vacuum when things get really bad or when someone is coming over. I knew I was depressed. My siblings don't live anywhere near here, so I get no help.

So, I made an appointment with a psychiatrist to get on an antidepressant. She told me that nobody does housework until things get really bad or someone is coming over. Neither she nor her friends clean the house until they are desperate! I told her that I used to always keep the house neat as a pin, run errands, answer mail in a timely matter...and that my friends do also. She said that that is not normal, and that they are over-achievers. She did not think I needed an antidepressant. I told her that I am depressed. She told me just to take walks. I already do this.

So am I bonkers, or is the psychiatrist?

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I applaud the doctor for not immediately putting you on medication.

Many people are too reliant on meds to make them "feel better."

Consodering all you have to handle, your moods sound perfectly normal to me.

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I agree that not just pulling out the prescription pad is not at all a bad thing. But if the OP is giving full disclosure of the visit, this doctor did nothing to help someone who definitely needs some help.

I think that any change in what has been your regular life practice with things like cleaning, hygiene, socializing etc. is a sign that something may be wrong, and you may need some type of assistance, even if just therapy, or some help with the stress of caregiving. 

I hope you seek out another doctor, look for something other than drugs as a first step, and get back to feeling more like yourself. I know what you do is hard, not only physically, but mentally and emotionally as well. I admire you for doing it.

[Kachina624]

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@Shaunac wrote:

I agree with you.  The psychiatrist is bonkers. 

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.... Or a slob.

[GCR18]

During the week, I spend maybe a 1/2 hour a day cleaning or straightening.  I do most of my cleaning on the weekend, where I spend 2 to 4 hours cleaning.  It's rare the house isn't clean.