Anyone have experience with homesick college kid? - Page 6

KathyPet · ‎03-09-2010

@Plaid Pants2 wrote:
Why leave home, when there is free room and board, meals, laundry, and possibly a chauffeur?

Quite a few college courses can be taken on line, so why move out, when you have all the comforts of home?

because going away away for college is a lot more than just taking classes and doing homework. IT is a opportunity for someone to become their own person without their parents involvement. It teaches self-reliance and independent decision making. in other words it teaches kids how to be a grown up.

grandma r · ‎10-26-2010

The first 6 weeks are the hardest on students and parents. All the parents can do is to encourage her to just smile and say hi to others. Hopefully her roommate will help too. Parents weekend is usually late September, early October. By then maybe the young lady will feel better. After that comes Thanksgiving break, Christmas break, Spring break, and various other occasions to go home. I sincerely wish her all the best and hope that she makes a few good friends to help her.

NicksmomESQ · ‎08-19-2014

Going away to college is not for everyone.I know of several kids who couldn't handle it & came home.This girl should not be forced to stay.Her parents should pick her up & have her enroll in a local college.. Forcing her to stay would be a big mistake!!

daisyk · ‎05-20-2011

@pigletsmom wrote:
Not sure what type of area she's going to school in, but maybe she could pick up a part time job around there or even at the school.

I was going to suggest this same thing. Since she liked working so much in high school. This is my daughters first year away at school also and so far so good, but her roommate works maybe 8 or 10 hours a week in the dining hall. It would be somewhere to go and be and a chance to talk to people in a manner she is probably more comfortable with.

scatcat · ‎03-15-2010

College campuses haved upped their game big time since I went. I'm talking Big 10, SEC sized schools, but I'm sure the smaller ones too. Rec Centers, football games, parties, much better cafeterias, student centers, college towns, bars, dorms with kitchens, ordering pizza at midnight, Fraternities and sororities, tons of activities and clubs. Some people act like they're sending their babies to the chambers. Come on people, besides studying, going to classes and passing, it's like a giant sleep over with 18-22 year olds. I wish I was at my DD's school. They got it good!

VaBelle35 · ‎03-10-2010

@DiAnne wrote:
I did that my first week at Girl Scout camp but not college!

We used to pretend we had to keep going to the bathroom so that we could try to find the boy scouts at our camp. LOL

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shoekitty · ‎03-10-2010

College dorms are not for everyone, but it can be endured. I dont think I would let my kids come home right away. I would do what I could for a flight home. Or go to visit. My granddaughter went to a well known college in california. It was 400 hundred miles from home. She belonged to sorority, had classes all day, theater productions on weekends, but she still got homesick. She had no car for a year, and there were 4 girls in that room. Yikes. If her family had let her come home when she wanted to "take a breather" she would have been mad at herself in the end. If they can get through the first year, if they still want to come home, find a college near home. If you tell them, to get through this year, amd you can come home and go to school at home next hear, chances are they will plod through.

i think we forget, they are still kids when they go off to college. Most kids probably had their meat cut for them until they were 17! In college, no one serves them meals, they have to clean up for themselves, get to class without nagging and poking, they get to eat...when they get the food. It is a lot to do,for a kid fresh from home. I have learned from experience with my grandkids, kids, their friends...most kids get homesick at one time or another., especially freshman year. We made more visits, sent care packages, called often and let them come home here and there. They made it.

if a college kid is screaming, crying, seems depressed, by all means work something out.

shoekitty · ‎03-10-2010

College kids love care packages!! Send one a week. Include notes, some favorite candy, favorite homemade cookies, or a journal, earrings, or cell phone case , maybe include a photo of their pet at home. We wrapped each little thing individually, with ribbon!! She still talks about those fun care packages. When the Pomagranites harvested at home, i wrapped 10 up, and mailed them. Pomegranates are her all time favorite food. Every 6 months i sent a Kate Spade ot Tory Burch handbag.

My granddaughter is grown now, she never came home. She is an actress and LA is her work force,not our little po dunk town. After the second year, she had a boyfriend, a job...friends. But, many times she wanted to quit. She survived, but I still send her her pomagranites from that tree she planted when she was 5,,, that tree is almost 24 years old. And I still send her treas, like a handbag, shoes. You know, grandma spoiling stuff.

Tinkrbl44 · ‎08-23-2010

Similar story ......

I recall a neighbor I went to school with getting married, and he & his bride were then moving to Georgia afterwards for his job transfer.

After only three weeks, this bride left her husband and went back to her parents' home because .... get this ..... she missed her mother!

I don't recall if her parents urged her to go back and make a life with her husband, or what they did, but I recall being very shocked .... her parents had spent a fortune on her wedding .... but I know the marriage didn't last all that long.

The groom was pretty devastated at his wife's childish behavior, but everyone provided a lot of emotional support and told him "good riddance" to such an immature partner.

TenderMercies · ‎06-03-2017

@shoekitty wrote:
College dorms are not for everyone, but it can be endured. I dont think I would let my kids come home right away. I would do what I could for a flight home. Or go to visit. My granddaughter went to a well known college in california. It was 400 hundred miles from home. She belonged to sorority, had classes all day, theater productions on weekends, but she still got homesick. She had no car for a year, and there were 4 girls in that room. Yikes. If her family had let her come home when she wanted to "take a breather" she would have been mad at herself in the end. If they can get through the first year, if they still want to come home, find a college near home. If you tell them, to get through this year, amd you can come home and go to school at home next hear, chances are they will plod through.

i think we forget, they are still kids when they go off to college. Most kids probably had their meat cut for them until they were 17! In college, no one serves them meals, they have to clean up for themselves, get to class without nagging and poking, they get to eat...when they get the food. It is a lot to do,for a kid fresh from home. I have learned from experience with my grandkids, kids, their friends...most kids get homesick at one time or another., especially freshman year. We made more visits, sent care packages, called often and let them come home here and there. They made it.

if a college kid is screaming, crying, seems depressed, by all means work something out.

@shoekitty You bring up a good point, which is that the more independent the kid is before they go away, the more likely they'll function at college. I'm not saying that this is the only reason that they're not happy, but it definitely could play a part. I had chores, a part time job, learned how to cook, and did my own laundry by the time I was 12. I don't think my parents even saw a report card in my final year of high school, because they trusted that I was doing well. Looking back, these skills instilled a sense of independence that definitely helped me function better when going to college. I imagine kids who lack those basic skills don't feel very confident and independent. Do the parents spoil these kids, or is the opposite true, and the parents are just lazy?