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Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,419
Registered: ‎06-17-2015

Re: Anyone Not Looking Forward To The Holiday Season


@Jordan2 wrote:

So my mother passed this year, I took care of her, now I live alone. I have a sister, we have never been very close. She invited me yesterday for Thanksgiving, I have already bought myself a turkey breast and sides I'm planning to make. I feel my sister invites me at the last minute, like a, oh by the way, and invites me out of obligation. I told her no. It will be a very lonely and sad holiday season.


@Jordan2   I remember when you posted about your mom passing away.  Again, I'm sorry for your loss.

 

A bit of unsolicited advice-let things heal between you and your sister. 

You do not have to attend the dinner, especially during these trying times.

 

She just may be thinking kindly of you.  Sometimes we stare at the past way too long.  Let it be. 

 

Speaking from personal experience.

 

Be well.Heart

""Out beyond the ideas of right-doing and wrong-doing, there is a field. I will meet you there." -Rumi
Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,363
Registered: ‎04-05-2010

Re: Anyone Not Looking Forward To The Holiday Season

My mom and DH's parents have been gone for a number of years, and the holidays have never been quite the same, though we still got together with DH's siblings and their families at Thanksgiving & Christmas and had a lot of fun.

 

Last fall his sister that lived nearby moved several hours away to be closer to her daughters, so big gatherings on that side are pretty much a thing of the past.

 

My youngest brother still lives nearby, and we will see them on Christmas Eve for a big family breakfast. Yes, we will all be as careful as possible, but my Dad is nearly 89 years old, and who knows if he'll still be here next year--he wants to do this, so we're going for it! We do not live in a "hot" area for the virus, and like I said, will be careful.

 

This year will be the 2nd Thanksgiving and Christmas Day that DH & I have spent with just us...but it's still joyful for us, because we make it that way! We eat our holidays meals exactly when WE want to, and cook exactly what WE want. Sure, things are quieter, but we enjoy the peace.

 

It's harder for some, I understand, especially if losses are more recent. And @Jordan2 , I am very sorry for the loss of your mother. I've been there, and it's difficult. I hope you find your own kind of joy in the season...if not this year, then next.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,568
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Anyone Not Looking Forward To The Holiday Season


@Mz iMac wrote:

@Jordan2   You have my condolences regarding your mother.

 

I am looking forward to the holidays.  I'll be staying at a casino for a few days starting tomorrow.  My brother will meet me there.

 

Doing the same for Christmas except this time paramour will join me.  My baby brother will come down for a room service Christmas breakfast spread.  At that time we exchange gifts.  Afterwards we all go swimming.

 

EDIT:  Bro just called to let me know he was able to get a hotel room the same dates I have.  He will be bringing to breakfast his floozy of the week. Told him she is not invited to X-mas breakfast unless YOU BOTH wear a mask at all times except when eating.


I had to reply to the editing so I could give you extra hearts than what is allowed in the little box below @Mz iMac .  HeartHeart

"Live frugally, but love extravagantly."
Honored Contributor
Posts: 15,237
Registered: ‎04-28-2010

Re: Anyone Not Looking Forward To The Holiday Season

No matter how sad for some, let's all be grateful and Thankful that we are still at home, maybe alone, but thankful that we aren't all alone in a hospital.

 

Keep safe, keep well.

 

And we aren't completely alone.  There are plenty of nice folks here to chat with, even on Thanksgiving.

 

I'm not sure, but I believe the Q will be broadcasting, too. 

 

Nice company to keep us 'company'. 

'More or less', 'Right or wrong', 'In general', and 'Just thinking out loud ' (as usual).
Regular Contributor
Posts: 181
Registered: ‎08-01-2010

Re: Anyone Not Looking Forward To The Holiday Season

I've been alone on the holidays for many, many years and I do not like this time of the year for a number of reasons.  I'm the baby on both sides of my family and there are only 3 or 4 cousins left, all much older than me. The first few years after losing a parent or someone you're close to are the hardest.  Personally, I don't accept invitations because being with others at their family celebrations is not the same as being with my loved ones who are no longer here and makes me sadder than being by myself.  I keep myself occupied for the day by cooking myself something special or watching movies or both.  One year I watched the entire Lord of the Rings series and another year it was the entire Harry Potter series.   This is just me but know that you are not alone and there are many people in the same position and you just need to eventually find something that works for you at this time of year.  It will come to you.      :heart:

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,885
Registered: ‎10-03-2014

Re: Anyone Not Looking Forward To The Holiday Season


@Melzie wrote:

I've been alone on the holidays for many, many years and I do not like this time of the year for a number of reasons.  I'm the baby on both sides of my family and there are only 3 or 4 cousins left, all much older than me. The first few years after losing a parent or someone you're close to are the hardest.  Personally, I don't accept invitations because being with others at their family celebrations is not the same as being with my loved ones who are no longer here and makes me sadder than being by myself.  I keep myself occupied for the day by cooking myself something special or watching movies or both.  One year I watched the entire Lord of the Rings series and another year it was the entire Harry Potter series.   This is just me but know that you are not alone and there are many people in the same position and you just need to eventually find something that works for you at this time of year.  It will come to you.      :heart:


@Melzie 

 

I would feel that way too.  

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,745
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Anyone Not Looking Forward To The Holiday Season

@Melzie  I even dislike it when today well meaning people say "Happy Holidays." I reply, Just me and my dogs."I have no family. I was an only child and helped raise my ex's daughters.  It has gotten better but still  am lonely at times. Everyone is busy with their own relatives and families.

 

I have alot to be thankful for and am financially secure and healthy. I try and do special things and activities for me and my dogs. I don't have any invitions to decline especially this year. @Jordan2  I have had that happen also  with friends like since they have alot of food at the last minute, come over. That isn't very thoughtful to me either. I think there are more of us alone than we know?  

Super Contributor
Posts: 333
Registered: ‎06-15-2015

Re: Anyone Not Looking Forward To The Holiday Season

Yes, I dread the holidays. I also was my mother's caregiver the last 4 1/2 years of her life. This will be the third year of Thanksgiving and Christmas without her. I have a brother and sister. No husband or children. I will be alone for Thanksgiving. Sister has mental health issues and is not doing well at this time. Brother works with the public and has had direct exposure to Covid twice. He has already told me he won't be coming for Thanksgiving or Christmas. It will be a long holiday season. I just remind myself it's only one day and I will get through it.