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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,829
Registered: ‎03-18-2010

Re: Any ladies here ever been in a relationship with a younger man?

Woops! I hit "quote Muttmom but it doesn't show that I did.This website is acting wonky.

He is in petroleum engineering. He started at $96k. Not bad, huh?

Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable.
JFK
Honored Contributor
Posts: 13,057
Registered: ‎04-28-2010

Re: Any ladies here ever been in a relationship with a younger man?

Excellent major.....petroleum engineering.

'More or less', 'Right or wrong', 'In general', and 'Just thinking out loud ' (as usual).
Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,982
Registered: ‎03-25-2012

Re: Any ladies here ever been in a relationship with a younger man?

On 8/26/2014 Colonel Meow said:
On 8/26/2014 Ford1224 said:
On 8/26/2014 ILikeShade said:
On 8/25/2014 Colonel Meow said:
On 8/25/2014 Irshgrl31201 said:

Colonel Meow, how long have you been dating him? I ask because when I started dating my husband there were several things that made me think that maybe we weren't right for each other. Now it wasn't age but it was things I considered important and I just didn't think we would work despite my chemistry with him. The more time I spent with him, the less I thought about those things.

I will tell you this. If you start to think about the age thing more with time instead of less, then I think that might be a good sign it isn't something you can get over.

We've been together about 3 months. My favorite thing about him is that he is crazy about me, lol! He is supportive, funny, uplifting, smart, well-read, etc.

The reason I say that we are in different places is because he is fresh out of college and still trying to find his career/place in the world. He still lives with a gaggle of roommates and has no real roots.

Also (and I hate to say this), his standard of living is considerably less than mine. This means that we can rarely participate in activities that I enjoy (nice dinners out, travel, entertainment, etc) unless I foot the bill.

This is the red flag for me.

I kinda thought the same thing. Although it was decades ago, I never paid for a thing. They were all younger, but pretty much already settled in their professions and finances.

If the OP doesn't mind paying, then I don't see anything wrong with it. But it's possible she could be taken advantage of. She sounds pretty smart, so hopefully she would see that.

Thank you for acknowledging that I am smart enough to not be taken advantage of in this situation. So, I truly hope that you take no offense when I point out that your statement that I bolded above is woefully outdated.

Modern, independent women (including myself) have no issues paying our share on dates, or even treating our partners out. In fact, I would be offended if my boyfriend insisted on paying for everything - as though he were implying that I couldn't afford to take care of myself. {#emotions_dlg.angry}

Perhaps I was unclear about his financial situation, which may have led posters to believe that he is some type of "lay-about". To clarify, he is gainfully employed and earning a decent salary (making more than many 24 year olds, I would wager). However, I still earn over twice as much as he does and enjoy a relatively high standard of living.

Although he is stable financially (for his age), he comes nowhere near the lifestyle that I am fortunate enough to live. He is unable to, for instance, afford his way on an upcoming vacation that I would enjoy planning with him. The couple thousand dollars doesn't really faze me at this point in my life, but it is a huge hardship for him.

Another example would be a number of recent concerts that he was unable to attend with me because he simply couldn't afford to pay for tickets at between $75 - $100 a pop. Same thing with dinners out - I can afford to eat out at nice restaurants a few times a week, but once or twice a week is his max.

Hopefully this clarifies what I had earlier said regarding not only the differences in our ages, but also the disparity in our professional lives and financial situations. Smile

Well, woefully, I am hopelessly outdated . . . nothing I can do about that.

Formerly Ford1224
We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Elie Wiesel 1986
Super Contributor
Posts: 2,103
Registered: ‎05-25-2014

Re: Any ladies here ever been in a relationship with a younger man?

Ford - Lol! I know you said that with the best of intentions, so that's why I hoped you wouldn't take offense when I quoted you. Thank you for giving an honest opinion, anyway. {#emotions_dlg.biggrin}

Super Contributor
Posts: 2,234
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

Re: Any ladies here ever been in a relationship with a younger man?

On 8/26/2014 Irshgrl31201 said:

Woops! I hit "quote Muttmom but it doesn't show that I did.This website is acting wonky.

He is in petroleum engineering. He started at $96k. Not bad, huh?

PE's are in high demand these days. Looking back to about 1985 or '86 . .. my brother was set to graduate as a PE in his 3rd year . . . they were starting @ 40K back then, which was very good . . . and oil dropped and hit rock bottom . . . from 40 something a barrel to about TEN BUCKS a barrel . . . old wells they had brought back on-line with low production were shut back down . . . PE's were a DIME A DOZEN so he switched real quick to Industrial Engineering . . . which he has done very well with over the years . . . although EE's and others call them "imaginary engineers" . . . kinda like the competition between hardware and software engineers . . . your hardware won't work without my software and your software won't work without my hardware . . . a little friendly workplace "sparring" . . . anyways . . . it can ALWAYS change . . . and quickly at that!!!

Daughter is studying Chemical Engineering . . . another high paying career path . . . difficult . . . I know I'd never be able to survive some of those classes . . . so more power to her!!! Actually she and two other girls I know are pursuing Chem E degrees. YAY for girls and science AND math! I started telling her when she was TWO to not let anybody tell her she couldn't.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,829
Registered: ‎03-18-2010

Re: Any ladies here ever been in a relationship with a younger man?

On 8/26/2014 Qwackertoo said:
On 8/26/2014 Irshgrl31201 said:

Woops! I hit "quote Muttmom but it doesn't show that I did.This website is acting wonky.

He is in petroleum engineering. He started at $96k. Not bad, huh?

PE's are in high demand these days. Looking back to about 1985 or '86 . .. my brother was set to graduate as a PE in his 3rd year . . . they were starting @ 40K back then, which was very good . . . and oil dropped and hit rock bottom . . . from 40 something a barrel to about TEN BUCKS a barrel . . . old wells they had brought back on-line with low production were shut back down . . . PE's were a DIME A DOZEN so he switched real quick to Industrial Engineering . . . which he has done very well with over the years . . . although EE's and others call them "imaginary engineers" . . . kinda like the competition between hardware and software engineers . . . your hardware won't work without my software and your software won't work without my hardware . . . a little friendly workplace "sparring" . . . anyways . . . it can ALWAYS change . . . and quickly at that!!!

Daughter is studying Chemical Engineering . . . another high paying career path . . . difficult . . . I know I'd never be able to survive some of those classes . . . so more power to her!!! Actually she and two other girls I know are pursuing Chem E degrees. YAY for girls and science AND math! I started telling her when she was TWO to not let anybody tell her she couldn't.

While this person is a friend of the family, not actual family, I have A LOT of engineers of different types in my family. To me, it is so dry and boring, I don't know how they made it through school. My brother in law is an engineer and owns an engineering firm. He works mostly for the FAA, VA and a couple of other govt type businesses. He goes into airports and VA's and does back up power if they lose all power sources. He loves it but I would die of boredom! He finds it so interesting and it makes me realize how lucky we are to have people like that because if the world was only full of people like me, there would be no roads, buildings, airports, etc.. We would still be living in huts. I admire those people so much because I am in awe of how their brains are wired so differently than mine.

I do love that more girls are into science and math. My daughter has a couple of girlfriends who have engineering degrees and I love to see that.

That is a great field your daughter chose. Good for her, she must be smart as a whip! She couldn't have done it without your encouragement so congrats to BOTH of you!

Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable.
JFK
Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,250
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Any ladies here ever been in a relationship with a younger man?

My dear friend married a man 10 years younger and though they are still married and very happy, the one thing that she wanted was children and he didn't.

Another friend had been married with two children. She started daing a younger man that wanted children but she didn't want anymore.

One more friend married a younger man that said he didn't want children. She also, had children. After a few years he decided that he wanted children and she was too old by that time. The marriage ended.

Food for thought.

Super Contributor
Posts: 2,234
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

Re: Any ladies here ever been in a relationship with a younger man?

On 8/26/2014 Irshgrl31201 said:
On 8/26/2014 Qwackertoo said:
On 8/26/2014 Irshgrl31201 said:

Woops! I hit "quote Muttmom but it doesn't show that I did.This website is acting wonky.

He is in petroleum engineering. He started at $96k. Not bad, huh?

PE's are in high demand these days. Looking back to about 1985 or '86 . .. my brother was set to graduate as a PE in his 3rd year . . . they were starting @ 40K back then, which was very good . . . and oil dropped and hit rock bottom . . . from 40 something a barrel to about TEN BUCKS a barrel . . . old wells they had brought back on-line with low production were shut back down . . . PE's were a DIME A DOZEN so he switched real quick to Industrial Engineering . . . which he has done very well with over the years . . . although EE's and others call them "imaginary engineers" . . . kinda like the competition between hardware and software engineers . . . your hardware won't work without my software and your software won't work without my hardware . . . a little friendly workplace "sparring" . . . anyways . . . it can ALWAYS change . . . and quickly at that!!!

Daughter is studying Chemical Engineering . . . another high paying career path . . . difficult . . . I know I'd never be able to survive some of those classes . . . so more power to her!!! Actually she and two other girls I know are pursuing Chem E degrees. YAY for girls and science AND math! I started telling her when she was TWO to not let anybody tell her she couldn't.

While this person is a friend of the family, not actual family, I have A LOT of engineers of different types in my family. To me, it is so dry and boring, I don't know how they made it through school. My brother in law is an engineer and owns an engineering firm. He works mostly for the FAA, VA and a couple of other govt type businesses. He goes into airports and VA's and does back up power if they lose all power sources. He loves it but I would die of boredom! He finds it so interesting and it makes me realize how lucky we are to have people like that because if the world was only full of people like me, there would be no roads, buildings, airports, etc.. We would still be living in huts. I admire those people so much because I am in awe of how their brains are wired so differently than mine.

I do love that more girls are into science and math. My daughter has a couple of girlfriends who have engineering degrees and I love to see that.

That is a great field your daughter chose. Good for her, she must be smart as a whip! She couldn't have done it without your encouragement so congrats to BOTH of you!

Thank you very much!

Super Contributor
Posts: 2,103
Registered: ‎05-25-2014

Re: Any ladies here ever been in a relationship with a younger man?

On 8/26/2014 Sister Golden Hair said:

My dear friend married a man 10 years younger and though they are still married and very happy, the one thing that she wanted was children and he didn't.

Another friend had been married with two children. She started daing a younger man that wanted children but she didn't want anymore.

One more friend married a younger man that said he didn't want children. She also, had children. After a few years he decided that he wanted children and she was too old by that time. The marriage ended.

Food for thought.


I see your point, and thanks for your input. But really, we just started this relationship and any talk of children is light years away! (For my part, I have never wanted children, nor do I think I will ever change my mind.) This would, of course, be a major concession for any man who would consider marrying me, regardless of our age disparity (lol).

Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,171
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Any ladies here ever been in a relationship with a younger man?

I would rather stick with someone my own age. They will know the music, movies and so on. More in common.