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Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,757
Registered: ‎11-28-2012

Re: Any ladies here ever been in a relationship with a younger man?

Back when I was dating, a woman dating a younger man was called a cradle robber. Even if the guy was only a year or 2 younger, the girl was teased terribly.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 21,409
Registered: ‎12-17-2012

Re: Any ladies here ever been in a relationship with a younger man?

Just enjoy the moment. Who knows what will happen tomorrow or next week. If you are having fun and he is being respectful of you, then do it. You or he may meet someone further down the road and things change. Enjoy the moments. They can be few and far between.

Fate whispers to her, "You cannot withstand the storm." She whispers back, "I am the storm."

Honored Contributor
Posts: 13,052
Registered: ‎04-28-2010

Re: Any ladies here ever been in a relationship with a younger man?

It really depends upon the maturity of the younger spouse. I've seen extremely long-term marriages succeed. All of them because (IMO) the man was/is very mature to begin with. Mature and very ambitious. Ambition is very important. Also, keeping busy, striving toward a good family life.

'More or less', 'Right or wrong', 'In general', and 'Just thinking out loud ' (as usual).
Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,745
Registered: ‎07-24-2013

Re: Any ladies here ever been in a relationship with a younger man?

I was 36 when I dated a man at work, he was 27. Our birthdays were two days apart so we were very much alike and we clicked instantly! We had a lot of fun until he got the wanderlust and moved to the West Coast. For our first really special date he took me to an old-school Italian restaurant in a very Olde Italian neighborhood. It was Valentine's Day. Red Roses. Violins. When the check came he found his wallet was empty! He had to run to the ATM a few streets away to get cash while I sat waiting! So embarrassing. I think I even offered to pay at the time but he insisted on going to the cash machine.

One thing I have learned is to let go of these Suffragette City ideals. If a man wants to be with you he should do all he can to treat you, at least in the early days. Later on when your relationship is established, you will have a more equitable financial arrangement. Until then, Make em Work for It. Your rules. Don't make things too easy.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,485
Registered: ‎06-22-2010

Re: Any ladies here ever been in a relationship with a younger man?

I married a man 8 years younger, against my better judgement. I have always liked an older man, hopefully they're more mature! I would never do it again! When you get older its a big deal, age wise.

Don't cry for a man who's left you--the next one may fall for your smile.
-- Mae West
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,829
Registered: ‎03-18-2010

Re: Any ladies here ever been in a relationship with a younger man?

On 8/26/2014 Colonel Meow said:
On 8/26/2014 Ford1224 said:
On 8/26/2014 ILikeShade said:
On 8/25/2014 Colonel Meow said:
On 8/25/2014 Irshgrl31201 said:

Colonel Meow, how long have you been dating him? I ask because when I started dating my husband there were several things that made me think that maybe we weren't right for each other. Now it wasn't age but it was things I considered important and I just didn't think we would work despite my chemistry with him. The more time I spent with him, the less I thought about those things.

I will tell you this. If you start to think about the age thing more with time instead of less, then I think that might be a good sign it isn't something you can get over.

We've been together about 3 months. My favorite thing about him is that he is crazy about me, lol! He is supportive, funny, uplifting, smart, well-read, etc.

The reason I say that we are in different places is because he is fresh out of college and still trying to find his career/place in the world. He still lives with a gaggle of roommates and has no real roots.

Also (and I hate to say this), his standard of living is considerably less than mine. This means that we can rarely participate in activities that I enjoy (nice dinners out, travel, entertainment, etc) unless I foot the bill.

This is the red flag for me.

I kinda thought the same thing. Although it was decades ago, I never paid for a thing. They were all younger, but pretty much already settled in their professions and finances.

If the OP doesn't mind paying, then I don't see anything wrong with it. But it's possible she could be taken advantage of. She sounds pretty smart, so hopefully she would see that.

Thank you for acknowledging that I am smart enough to not be taken advantage of in this situation. So, I truly hope that you take no offense when I point out that your statement that I bolded above is woefully outdated.

Modern, independent women (including myself) have no issues paying our share on dates, or even treating our partners out. In fact, I would be offended if my boyfriend insisted on paying for everything - as though he were implying that I couldn't afford to take care of myself. {#emotions_dlg.angry}

Perhaps I was unclear about his financial situation, which may have led posters to believe that he is some type of "lay-about". To clarify, he is gainfully employed and earning a decent salary (making more than many 24 year olds, I would wager). However, I still earn over twice as much as he does and enjoy a relatively high standard of living.

Although he is stable financially (for his age), he comes nowhere near the lifestyle that I am fortunate enough to live. He is unable to, for instance, afford his way on an upcoming vacation that I would enjoy planning with him. The couple thousand dollars doesn't really faze me at this point in my life, but it is a huge hardship for him.

Another example would be a number of recent concerts that he was unable to attend with me because he simply couldn't afford to pay for tickets at between $75 - $100 a pop. Same thing with dinners out - I can afford to eat out at nice restaurants a few times a week, but once or twice a week is his max.

Hopefully this clarifies what I had earlier said regarding not only the differences in our ages, but also the disparity in our professional lives and financial situations. Smile

I didn't take your post to mean he was a layabout at all. I took it to mean that he was just starting out in the professional world and his salary reflected it. He most likely has student loans of some sort to be paid back too and even with a great salary, those student loans can be killers. My daughter has a friend who just got his first job and his salary is just shy of $100k but his student loans are brutal and he can't afford much but the very basics.

From your post you seem like a very smart and together kind of lady who in no way at all is being taken advantage of at all. I also understand what you mean money wise. It is nice to have friends and people you are close to be able to do stuff you would like to do and not always worry about their money situation. Nothing wrong with that at all.

Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable.
JFK
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Posts: 2,103
Registered: ‎05-25-2014

Re: Any ladies here ever been in a relationship with a younger man?

Irshgrl - thanks for understanding what I was trying to say.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,757
Registered: ‎11-28-2012

Re: Any ladies here ever been in a relationship with a younger man?

On 8/26/2014 Irshgrl31201 said:My daughter has a friend who just got his first job and his salary is just shy of $100k but his student loans are brutal and he can't afford much but the very basics.

F

What profession pays a new graduate almost $100,000 a year?

Honored Contributor
Posts: 15,340
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Any ladies here ever been in a relationship with a younger man?

On 8/26/2014 muttmom said: <blockquote class="quote_author">On 8/26/2014 Irshgrl31201 said:My daughter has a friend who just got his first job and his salary is just shy of $100k but his student loans are brutal and he can't afford much but the very basics.

F

What profession pays a new graduate almost $100,000 a year?

Probably the top graduates from a law school at a major law firm.

☼The best place to seek God is in a garden. You can dig for him there. GBShaw☼
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Posts: 7,829
Registered: ‎03-18-2010

Re: Any ladies here ever been in a relationship with a younger man?

On 8/26/2014 muttmom said: <blockquote class="quote_author">On 8/26/2014 Irshgrl31201 said:My daughter has a friend who just got his first job and his salary is just shy of $100k but his student loans are brutal and he can't afford much but the very basics.

F

What profession pays a new graduate almost $100,000 a year?

Petroleum engineering.

Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable.
JFK