Community Chat

[LoveShelties]

I was 27 and my husband was 22 when we married in 1981. It can most definitely work as we will be married in May for 34 years.

[foundinlv]

Someone who doesn't have enough money to gas up their car, a big red flag.

Someone who doesn't have enough money to take you to a movie, a big red flag.

Someone who doesn't have enough money to take you out to eat except to McDonalds, a big red flag.

But they have enough money to buy beer and hoagies when they're with their pals.

[Tinkrbl44]

I haven't read all the comments as I'm running out the door .... however, in my real life experience, it's really less about the actual age and more about the person' life experience

[JamicaJammer]

Sure did!! Met him when he was 19 and I was a 31-y/o married mom when he worked one summer at my firm. Five years later, our paths crossed again; by then he was a college graduate with a job that paid 3X what mine did, was considered the "golden boy" of the company, and I was single. Figured it would be a one-date to catch up on what we'd been doing, and that would be it. Nope.

A year later, we had our dream wedding and our fairytale began, It lasted for 10 yrs and produced two baby boys. Sadly, he passed away at age 34, when I was 46.

The age thing never, ever was even a sliver of an issue. He was an intellectual genius, always had been an 'old soul', even to his choice of Doris Day/Rock Hudson kinda movies, 1960/70s music, soooo wanting a wife, kids, picket fence, etc. Nobody except close friends/family realized we weren't about the same age. Both of our 2 boys are exactly like that, too. Their teachers always comment on their "old soul" maturity thing.

If he'd been broke, no career, etc., I don't know that I'd have done anything more than a few casual dates, since I had a 12-yo son to support/consider. But he was awesome with my son, too....didn't try to be a Dad a much as a great older brother.

I'm so glad I followed my heart.

[beckyb1012]

My Step-Dad was 10 years younger than my Mom and it was not a problem for many years. Until she became a senior citizen way before him and her health began to decline.

She passed over a year ago and he was a huge help with her care but she told me it was not pleasant watching him quick on his feet, so to speak and she could no longer keep up after almost 30 years right beside him. But 30 years a long time for a lot of people.

[kittymomNC]

I did once a number of years ago....he was 29 and I was 40...but at those ages we each had our own "baggage", kids of different ages, he had a stormy relationship with the ex-wife, so life got in the way. We got along great, had so much in common, had FUN together, and the age difference didn't seem to matter at all. It was just all the rest of life circumstances made it so difficult ....sometimes I still think about him.....

[lulu2]

I must say, this thread is a complete surprise for me. Then again I was part of the generation that married right out of college.

[Pqfan]

<h1> Any ladies here ever been in a relationship with a younger man?</h1>

I'm workin' on it.

[Colonel Meow]

On 8/26/2014 Ford1224 said:

On 8/26/2014 ILikeShade said:

On 8/25/2014 Colonel Meow said:

On 8/25/2014 Irshgrl31201 said:

Colonel Meow, how long have you been dating him? I ask because when I started dating my husband there were several things that made me think that maybe we weren't right for each other. Now it wasn't age but it was things I considered important and I just didn't think we would work despite my chemistry with him. The more time I spent with him, the less I thought about those things.

I will tell you this. If you start to think about the age thing more with time instead of less, then I think that might be a good sign it isn't something you can get over.

We've been together about 3 months. My favorite thing about him is that he is crazy about me, lol! He is supportive, funny, uplifting, smart, well-read, etc.

The reason I say that we are in different places is because he is fresh out of college and still trying to find his career/place in the world. He still lives with a gaggle of roommates and has no real roots.

Also (and I hate to say this), his standard of living is considerably less than mine. This means that we can rarely participate in activities that I enjoy (nice dinners out, travel, entertainment, etc) unless I foot the bill.

This is the red flag for me.

I kinda thought the same thing. Although it was decades ago, I never paid for a thing. They were all younger, but pretty much already settled in their professions and finances.

If the OP doesn't mind paying, then I don't see anything wrong with it. But it's possible she could be taken advantage of. She sounds pretty smart, so hopefully she would see that.

Thank you for acknowledging that I am smart enough to not be taken advantage of in this situation. So, I truly hope that you take no offense when I point out that your statement that I bolded above is woefully outdated.

Modern, independent women (including myself) have no issues paying our share on dates, or even treating our partners out. In fact, I would be offended if my boyfriend insisted on paying for everything - as though he were implying that I couldn't afford to take care of myself.

Perhaps I was unclear about his financial situation, which may have led posters to believe that he is some type of "lay-about". To clarify, he is gainfully employed and earning a decent salary (making more than many 24 year olds, I would wager). However, I still earn over twice as much as he does and enjoy a relatively high standard of living.

Although he is stable financially (for his age), he comes nowhere near the lifestyle that I am fortunate enough to live. He is unable to, for instance, afford his way on an upcoming vacation that I would enjoy planning with him. The couple thousand dollars doesn't really faze me at this point in my life, but it is a huge hardship for him.

Another example would be a number of recent concerts that he was unable to attend with me because he simply couldn't afford to pay for tickets at between $75 - $100 a pop. Same thing with dinners out - I can afford to eat out at nice restaurants a few times a week, but once or twice a week is his max.

Hopefully this clarifies what I had earlier said regarding not only the differences in our ages, but also the disparity in our professional lives and financial situations.

[Colonel Meow]

On 8/26/2014 ILikeShade said:

Someone who doesn't have enough money to gas up their car, a big red flag.

Someone who doesn't have enough money to take you to a movie, a big red flag.

Someone who doesn't have enough money to take you out to eat except to McDonalds, a big red flag.

But they have enough money to buy beer and hoagies when they're with their pals.

LOL, I'm sure that you are just being humorous! But I just wanted to point out that none of the above scenarios apply in my case, so don't worry!