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08-25-2014 10:50 PM
Yes. My husband is several years younger than I. Although we have the same birth DAY just not the same year. We'll be married 23 years in a couple of days from now.
08-25-2014 10:54 PM
With the exception of my husband that I married in my early 20's (he was my HS boyfriend) most of the men I have dated have been younger than me, usually 3 to 5 years younger. Age was never really an issue, although one guy was just immature, but I think he will still be immature even when he's 50. I don't believe the 8 year difference between you and your boyfriend is a big deal, age is just a number after all, but the gap seems much larger when he is in his mid 20's and you are just starting your 30's. I think people change and grow so much during their 20's, and for most men their mindset is totally different than when they hit their 30's which might be what you are experiencing when you say you are in different places. If he was 32 and you were 40 the age difference probably wouldn't seem so vast. Of course there are certain advantages to dating a much younger guy, especially one in his 20's, but the bigger question is what are you both looking to get out of this relationship? Are you wanting someone to get serious with or just have fun with for the time being? Is he just enjoying himself and your company or does he have plans to settle down? If you are both on the same page, then I would say just enjoy yourself while it lasts, but if you don't share similar expectations for your relationship then the age difference will stick out like a sore thumb. Your happiness should be your first priority. If he is fulfilling your needs, emotional and physical, then it's worth your time...but something to consider is whether you are missing out on an opportunity to meet someone that shares more of your interests while you are involved with this guy? Whatever you decide, I wish you the best.
08-25-2014 10:58 PM
I'm a little more than 5 1/2 years older than my husband, no issues at all but we do have different music and movie tastes -- he has no way to relate to Doris Day or the Golden Oldies. I enjoy the music of his era but not with the same intensity. There was a song playing in the car: "My Generation" that I was about to turn off because it was repetitive and annoying. He told how much it meant to him in his day, somewhat of an anthem.
If we'd met when he was in his twenties, it would not have worked.
08-25-2014 11:01 PM
I dated quite a few younger men in my 30s and early 40s, most were in their twenties. They were all bright, funny and had great ambition. Young guys are thrilled to be with an attractive older woman with "a hint of maturity" but they are typically in various stages of transition, finding themselves, looking to make their mark. If that describes you as well, than go with the flow.
You hinted at a desire for the finer things in life...look at the big picture and keep your options open. Romance without Finance becomes a Nuisance.
08-25-2014 11:05 PM
On 8/25/2014 Jules5280 said:With the exception of my husband that I married in my early 20's (he was my HS boyfriend) most of the men I have dated have been younger than me, usually 3 to 5 years younger. Age was never really an issue, although one guy was just immature, but I think he will still be immature even when he's 50. I don't believe the 8 year difference between you and your boyfriend is a big deal, age is just a number after all, but the gap seems much larger when he is in his mid 20's and you are just starting your 30's. I think people change and grow so much during their 20's, and for most men their mindset is totally different than when they hit their 30's which might be what you are experiencing when you say you are in different places. If he was 32 and you were 40 the age difference probably wouldn't seem so vast. Of course there are certain advantages to dating a much younger guy, especially one in his 20's, but the bigger question is what are you both looking to get out of this relationship? Are you wanting someone to get serious with or just have fun with for the time being? Is he just enjoying himself and your company or does he have plans to settle down? If you are both on the same page, then I would say just enjoy yourself while it lasts, but if you don't share similar expectations for your relationship then the age difference will stick out like a sore thumb. Your happiness should be your first priority. If he is fulfilling your needs, emotional and physical, then it's worth your time...but something to consider is whether you are missing out on an opportunity to meet someone that shares more of your interests while you are involved with this guy? Whatever you decide, I wish you the best.
Thank you for your thoughtful post. You made some excellent points.
As far as our expectations of this relationship, I believe that he and I are on the same page. I have no desire to marry or have children at this point in my life (and I don't believe I ever will), so I am certainly not looking at this relationship as a means of eventually obtaining a family. At 24, he obviously is not even thinking about this, either.
Having said that, I do expect a partnership based on mutual respect, support, and friendship - all of which he supplies in droves. I just wish that I could have met him in about 4 years - when he would be more established in his career and life, with greater financial freedom and life experience.
08-25-2014 11:06 PM
On 8/25/2014 moonstone dunes said:I dated quite a few younger men in my 30s and early 40s, most were in their twenties. They were all bright, funny and had great ambition. Young guys are thrilled to be with an attractive older woman with "a hint of maturity" but they are typically in various stages of transition, finding themselves, looking to make their mark. If that describes you as well, than go with the flow.
You hinted at a desire for the finer things in life...look at the big picture and keep your options open. Romance without Finance becomes a Nuisance.
Love this - and it certainly applies in my case!
08-25-2014 11:35 PM
On 8/25/2014 SeaGal said:It sounds like you already have your answer, 'I can already tell we are just in such different places in our lives'.
Exactly. Men are inherently less mature than women, so it's hard to find one at that stage in his life who's ready to settle down and have a serious long term relationship (if that's what you're looking for).
I wish you luck!
08-25-2014 11:38 PM
On 8/25/2014 Jules5280 said:With the exception of my husband that I married in my early 20's (he was my HS boyfriend) most of the men I have dated have been younger than me, usually 3 to 5 years younger. Age was never really an issue, although one guy was just immature, but I think he will still be immature even when he's 50. I don't believe the 8 year difference between you and your boyfriend is a big deal, age is just a number after all, but the gap seems much larger when he is in his mid 20's and you are just starting your 30's. I think people change and grow so much during their 20's, and for most men their mindset is totally different than when they hit their 30's which might be what you are experiencing when you say you are in different places. If he was 32 and you were 40 the age difference probably wouldn't seem so vast. Of course there are certain advantages to dating a much younger guy, especially one in his 20's, but the bigger question is what are you both looking to get out of this relationship? Are you wanting someone to get serious with or just have fun with for the time being? Is he just enjoying himself and your company or does he have plans to settle down? If you are both on the same page, then I would say just enjoy yourself while it lasts, but if you don't share similar expectations for your relationship then the age difference will stick out like a sore thumb. Your happiness should be your first priority. If he is fulfilling your needs, emotional and physical, then it's worth your time...but something to consider is whether you are missing out on an opportunity to meet someone that shares more of your interests while you are involved with this guy? Whatever you decide, I wish you the best.
O/T HI Jules!! Good to see you. Hope you're doing well!
08-25-2014 11:55 PM
Yes, I married him! He is 11 years younger than me. I was 39 and he was 28 when we were married 24 years ago. best decision I ever made when I accepted his proposal!
This was my second marriage for me-first for him.
08-25-2014 11:59 PM
On 8/25/2014 Colonel Meow said:On 8/25/2014 KittyLouWhoToo said:Well, at least he's legal.
Thanks for looking on the bright side, Kitty!
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