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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,827
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Anxiety before traveling

Please be gentle. I’m struggling a little. 

 

I have some issues, on and off, with anxiety. Most of the time it’s “ok enough”.  It really hasn’t been severe enough,  consistently, prior to now to consider long term medicinal help.  

 

I really notice it when I’m going to travel. Once I get on the road, I’ll be totally good, but all the advance hoopla does me in.  Stopping the newspaper, getting someone to check our mail, going to the bank, making reservations, making sure all the stuff at home is done.  Turn the main water thing off, check the doors to make sure they’re locked.   Do we have all the medications and extra eyeglasses with us.  By the time it’s FINALLY time to go, I feel like it’s hardly worth going. Seriously.  Too much effort and angst. And I hate that. 

 

My husband and I haven’t been anywhere in almost two years. I got this wonderful idea a few weeks ago, LOL, that we should go somewhere. We both like to gamble, so heck, let’s go to our favorite casino. It’s a haul from where we live. I made the reservations a few weeks ago and we’re scheduled to leave Sunday. You’ll notice I said “scheduled” to leave.  That’s if my nerves don’t get the best of me. 

 

As you guys know, my husband has health issues, so I’m in charge of everything and sometimes that’s a little overwhelming. Not only do I have the advance hoopla that makes me anxious, I also have to consider how he’s going to do away from home, where things aren’t as familiar. 

 

I actually cried about it this morning. Told him I didn’t  think I could go.  But then we went out and ran errands and had lunch and I was like yep, let’s go,  

 

I am MUCH better with spur of the moment. Decide this morning that we want to go tomorrow.  Get stuff done and leave.  I don’t do as well with a lot of lead time. 

 

 


Why is it, when I have a 50/50 guess at something, I'm always 100% wrong?
Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,486
Registered: ‎05-09-2010

Re: Anxiety before traveling

I am with you on all the anxiety of travelling.  The prep hardly makes it worth it and I am always glad to be home.  But when we are planning to leave, I keep the goal in mind of being there and having a wonderful time.  I try to block out the travel, whether by car or airplane, and just focus on being there.  I think back on all the other wonderful places I have been and how glad I was that I went.

 

Good luck and have a wonderful time.

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else. Margaret Mead
Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,216
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Anxiety before traveling

I think I understand where you're coming from.  I'm a little like that too, and I'll bet you're a perfectionist, right?  What helps me the most is to always give myself way more time to get ready than I think I'll need.  I make a list of to-do's, a little at a time as I think of things I need to do.  Then I'll go through the list and check off each item as I do it.  This really helps keep me on track, and I'm not constantly crowding my mind with thoughts of what did I forget to do, or last minute running around!  Cat Wink

Laura loves cats!
Super Contributor
Posts: 450
Registered: ‎04-01-2016

Re: Anxiety before traveling

you are not alone!!!

it definitely sounds like you have a lot to be responsible for! Do what is comfortable for YOU. If you're not going to have a good time, then it's not worth the stress. Like someone mentioned, make a list, check everything off, then focus on the trip! Let us know what you ended up deciding Smiley Happy

 

Contributor
Posts: 54
Registered: ‎04-29-2015

Re: Anxiety before traveling

I completely understand! Even going for an overnight stay is stressful. 

As a single person, all the prep is all mine. Ugh!

Even though I am retired now, I still have nightmares about getting to the airport and forgetting my passport!

 

I did read a good hack for people who worry about the stove being off—take a photo on your cell phone. 

 

Good luck,

Dragonfly

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,827
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Anxiety before traveling


@2blonde wrote:

I think I understand where you're coming from.  I'm a little like that too, and I'll bet you're a perfectionist, right?  What helps me the most is to always give myself way more time to get ready than I think I'll need.  I make a list of to-do's, a little at a time as I think of things I need to do.  Then I'll go through the list and check off each item as I do it.  This really helps keep me on track, and I'm not constantly crowding my mind with thoughts of what did I forget to do, or last minute running around!  Cat Wink


 

 

@2blonde - yep, perfectionist here. 

 

I’ve had a list of stuff that needed to get done, on the kitchen table, broken down by day. I was careful not to put too much on any one day. Today, for example, was only “get snacks”, LOL. LOL. Make sure I get the important  things done. 

 

What I think set the tone this week was an unsuccessful washer and dryer delivery this week on Monday.  You guys just wouldn’t believe it but in the end, I refused the delivery and the installers had to remove the new set, get our old set back off the truck and reinstall those and they weren’t happy at all about that. Lots of angst.  Trip back to the store to get the credit and buy a new set which took seemingly forever.  The new set is out of stock and can’t be delivered till late next week after we’re home. That seemed to set the anxiety in motion.  That delivery and the aftermath was a true mess and again, that seemed to set the anxiety in motion. 


Why is it, when I have a 50/50 guess at something, I'm always 100% wrong?
Regular Contributor
Posts: 212
Registered: ‎08-06-2015

Re: Anxiety before traveling

You are definitely not alone feeling travel anxiety! I developed plane&car anxiety as I got older. My Aunt is 75 and still travels long distances and she told me she tries to look at  all the prep, travel etc as just the means to get to someplace enjoyable. My mom stopped traveling altogether due to anxiety and just did local activities. I'm better spur of the moment too. Just get me there and I'm ok.  But if its overwhelming you its ok not to go, dont beat yourself up about it.  Do something close to home xo

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,265
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Anxiety before traveling

You are NOT alone!  We are planning to go back home for our neice's wedding at the end of August, and I am already anxious about it.

While I love to be home (in Michigan, I live in OK) the stress and nerves of going on a trip are almost too much for me.  I DO NOT fly, havent for over 30yrs, yet traveling takes its toll on me more and more the older I get.

 

I do pray and talk to my parents in heaven when I am ready to travel, that semms to help.  Good Luck with whatever you choose.

I may not agree with what you say, but I will defend, til death, your right to say it
Super Contributor
Posts: 314
Registered: ‎05-12-2010

Re: Anxiety before traveling

You sound so much like me.  Anxiety has ruined many trips for me to the point where I stopped going anywhere for a while.  One thing that has helped me is to sit down for a while to create a permanent master list of all the things that must be done to prepare, a list of items to pack for me and my husband, etc.  Once it is all down on paper I can streamline the process and delegate some of the chores to my spouse.  I keep the list so each time there is a trip I know I can be ready and not forget to do anything.  I also have a "household manual" ready for anyone watching the pets/house with very detailed instructions for them and information on insurance, medications, doctors, vet offices, etc.  Basically I put anything important in there.   My family knows where this manual is in case of any emergencies, and it's nice to have it for peace of mind.    

 

If you don't already have security cameras in your home, that might make you feel better too.  I like to be able to use my phone to check on the cameras/pets to set my mind at ease.  These things all make me feel like I have more control, which lessens my anxiety.  

 

Another fun thing is to make music playlists for your journey and shop for something fun or comfortable to wear on your trip to remind you that it's supposed to be joyful.  Anxiety sure does steal the joy sometimes.    

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Frequent Contributor
Posts: 114
Registered: ‎02-06-2012

Re: Anxiety before traveling

I'm currently reading this book. Though I would pass along....