Community Chat

[PinkSunset]

"But the difference is you are thinking from a logical perspective.  People that are at the brink of committing suicide don't think from a logical perspective at the time. "

without quoting an entire post, I saw this in one of the comments and this to me is the one that hit the nail on the head. Without adding opinions on the why they did it, are they selfish or not, they are now at peace and not suffering and any personal stories about suicide, it succinctly wraps it up, again, IMO.

I don't look at any mental illness or negative traits resulting from that as one I should judge one way or the other. I truly believe being human has so many complexities, things we can't understand, trials and tribulations and on the flip side all the positives as well that in some people, especially those are are very intense even about every day ho-hum activities, do NOT think about things from the same perspective as some do who have either better coping mechanisms or can brush off the little things that aren';t that important in the scheme of life.

Think about those who commit suicide, and I know many of us know people personally who have, and think about their personalities. Genius? Intense? Deeply feeling? Can't seem to deal with things easily and hurt deeply right to the core? 

Minutes and seconds before a person commits suicide I imagine the thoughts in their heads is not the same as ours as any of us sitting here reading and typing comments about it afterward.  

IMO, those thoughts must be so overwhelmingly sad that the only way to get them out of their heads is to erase them permanently once and for all and so suicide is the only option left.  I can't imagine that kind of darkness as for me, if I felt overwhelmingly sad and hopeless I would look at what I have, my children especially and imagine not being able to see them and hug them again and it would be enough for me not to want to leave. But for those who commit the final act, I don't think they get to that point.

Anyway, I'm not going tp speculate on what happened to AB but again, the first line of this post says it best for me. 

[CalminHeart]

Every suicide is beyond sad.  12 veterans commit suicide every day and no one notices. When a star commits suicide, the world notices and it's all over social forums and media for days and days.

[winamac1]

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@ZoetheCat wrote:

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@esmerelda wrote:

This is what I think.  He wanted to kill himself and he did.  Does anyone disagree that that is what he wanted to do?  If he didn't want to do it, why did he do it?  The devil made him do it?

Had he reached out to other people?  Did others know "where" he was?  Or was he trying to handle it himself?

If he did it because he was suffering, he isn't suffering now.  Isn't that a reason to be glad?  And that fact, idea, notion that his death has brought anyone here unhappiness has nothing to do with anything...IMO.

His death and the way it happened are just fodder for the conversation mill and have given potential essayists a chance to try their hand here.

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How about the idea that in a moment of abject despair he made a bad choice.  How about the idea that maybe he would take it back if he could.  I guess what truly disturbs me about this black/white view of the world is that it allows no room for human frailty.  People are human.  People make mistakes.  Sometimes huge, irredeemable mistakes.  Nowhere in this tragedy is anyone discounting the horrible affect this will have on his daughter.  Obviously it is heartbreaking to contemplate what she must be going through.  Can’t we also try to contemplate the pain he felt?  It is possible to feel heartbreak for both of them.

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ITA

The judgmental attitude by some disgusts me.  It's not as if these people intend to hurt their loved ones.  I'm sure they are in such a state of desperation that they can't go on any longer.

It is heartbreaking and it is a trajed--especially for someone who seemed to so love life, his adventures and the way he related to others from so many different cultures and backgrounds.

[occasionalrain]

I don't fault those who wish to end their lives for any reason; it's their life and their choice.

However, don't bring children into your life if you have any thought of leaving it. It's just wrong. Both had suffered depression their entire lives, it wasn't a sudden affliction, they knew and apparently didn't care.

[chickenbutt]

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@catwhisperer wrote:

Many years ago I made the mistake of posting that my son took his life. I was shocked by the cruel, heartless comments from posters on these boards. Obviously, people who make those comments have not experienced what others go through. I'm not looking for sympathy. I just wish some people would wake up and have empathy for others who have experienced this and stop passing judgement.

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I, too, am so sorry that you had to go through that.  Some people just don't understand things and all they do is condemn and judge harshly.   That is patently wrong!    You should not have had to deal with that kind of harsh rhetoric and inappropriate judgment. 

Sadly, and as we see here in this thread too, many people have no clue about such things.  Instead of trying to understand, or just leaving it alone, they condemn others inappropriately. 

Best wishes to you, your family, and your friends.   I hope you are able to get past that bad behavior of others and see it for what it is - it's not about you or your beloved son.  It is about them and their inability to see things more clearly.

[winamac1]

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@occasionalrain wrote:

I don't fault those who wish to end their lives for any reason; it's their life and their choice.

However, don't bring children into your life if you have any thought of leaving it. It's just wrong. Both had suffered depression their entire lives, it wasn't a sudden affliction, they knew and apparently didn't care.

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I would highly doubt someone would bring children into their life thinking or knowing they are going to leave it.