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Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,967
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Another Wedding Gift Experience

I think it is a wonderful idea!  We selected disney world cruise tours, disney world activities.  I also bought a cruise tour for one couple.  It makes a vacation or honeymoon for them easy, and not so much cost. How ever elaborate the wedding, and no matter how much it appears the couple has money, they all appreciate the gift of tours or travel

 

i did this a few years ago.  The couple had been engaged 8 years.  They were about 25 years old.  The were Disney groupies, lol.  I don't know how people can still get  excited and go to disney 3 times a year, but they do!  They did have a wedding regular Target and BBB registry. But they did have a link to the disney world events.  Dinners, tours and such.  The dinner they wanted was very special and they were on waitlist for a year to get in.  There were tours and events from 40 bucks to 150 dollars.  I bought them 2 requests for a safari event.

to make a longer story short, I was of the mind that I wanted a gift that they would have for a while, like a stand mixer, elegant sheets, etc.  when I asked their mom what they really wanted, she said, anything they listed they did want badly, and need.  But the disney events would be something they truely wanted and would enjoy.  So I did. Get event.

 

to this day, they mention it.  When they see me, they tell me how much they loved the safari.  They said, they never could have gone without the gift.  

The thank you cards were from a picture on the safari tour.

 

you never know what heart needs.  I have also met brides who wanted a mixer more than anything in the world for a gift

Honored Contributor
Posts: 16,646
Registered: ‎11-25-2011

Re: Another Wedding Gift Experience


@shoekitty wrote:

you never know what heart needs.  


@shoekitty

OMG....I think I got a little misty-eyed when I read that!

What a sweet sentiment!

You are SO right...’you never know what (the) heart needs.”

💚💛❤️

Valued Contributor
Posts: 594
Registered: ‎05-23-2012

Re: Another Wedding Gift Experience

Now I've heard everything!   A Waterford gift would not be appreciated~?    If that is the case, then this person is an ungrateful human being.

 

(And anyone who wants to give 'me' a free John Deere tractor, my DH would give you a kiss!)  

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,166
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Another Wedding Gift Experience


@beach-mom wrote:

I am thrilled to be attending this wedding - we love both the bride and groom, and we've known the groom for a long time.

 

But their registry was unlike any other I've seen so far. It included items with pictures from different sites. When you clicked on the picture, it took you directly to the site. No problem there. But after the gift was purchased a little banner popped up that said "Thank you. Jack and Jill have been notified of your gift." So much for a surprise.

 

I have no problem getting something off the registry, but I do have a problem with the bride and groom knowing exactly who gave what gift BEFORE they open it. 

 

Have any of you ever seen anything like this? Smiley Surprised


Yes.  Many weddings today are so different than what you or I or others experienced.  Today they have wedding websites, links to registries, links to hotels in the area, some have apps for download, etc.  It's fun and modern.

 

I would never push for a couple to open my gift then and there - I thnk that's pretty rude.  It's not about ME seeing their reaction, it's about me choosing a gift I hope THEY will love - one day (not that day).

 

(bride and groom knew long ago who purchased what from the registry)

Regular Contributor
Posts: 202
Registered: ‎03-28-2011

Re: Another Wedding Gift Experience


@GraceysMom wrote:

Now I've heard everything!   A Waterford gift would not be appreciated~?    If that is the case, then this person is an ungrateful human being.

 

(And anyone who wants to give 'me' a free John Deere tractor, my DH would give you a kiss!)  


 

 

Not everyone wants or needs waterford crystal.  In fact, I myself wouldn't want it.  If you would spend the money for a gift the couple wouldn't enjoy, why wouldn't you just buy something from the registry they would appreciate instead?   Having different tastes, etc. doesn't mean they are ungrateful.  

Honored Contributor
Posts: 14,859
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Another Wedding Gift Experience

I am 100% sure if my nephew, who just got married last September, had received a Waterford bowl, he would have given it to his inlaws or sold it on eBay.

 

They are young (25), they have a tiny apartment, they do not plan to entertain other than having family over for pizza at this point in their lives (they have 4 chairs in their kitchen, so it's "bring your own chair" if they have more than 4 people).

===================================
QVC Shopper - 1993

# IAMTEAMWEN
Super Contributor
Posts: 265
Registered: ‎03-03-2014

Re: Another Wedding Gift Experience

Technology and the passage of time itself has changed virtually every single thing in our world, including gift giving and registries.  I've always thought the purpose of gift giving is to give something to make the other person happy - who decides that best other than the person(s) receiving the gifts?  All this talk about not wanting to fund the honeymoon, or new house, or whatever - how do you know what people do with money they recieve for gifts if they have nothing specific mentioned?  You don't, yet money is often given anyway.  I really don't see the difference other than if something specific is mentioned, you know what the money is being spent on.   Again, the purpose of giving a gift is to make the receiver happy.  Just leave it at that.

 

I am a solidly middle-aged woman, and I have come to the point when I hear others go on and on about entitlement of the young generation,etc. I feel I must speak up.  I live in a retirement area where the sense of entitlement you speak of is so pervasive, so obnoxious - I have never lived anywhere else that has been like this (I have lived all over the U.S.).  I ask myself all the time if it is THIS particular area, or is it a sign of the times? Is it like this in other parts of the country?  So I ask others elsewhere.  I have sort of concluded that much of it IS this particular area in which I currently live, with a bit of it being the times we live.  The demographic here is decidely 65+ by a large majority, and the sense of entitlement and "me, me, me" attitude is so in your face, obnoxious - these senior aged people demonstrate much, much more of that than I have EVER seen from someone younger.  It's not just me, either - it's such a common issue here for anyone who works or lives in this area.  Everyone I know has stories that just make me shake my head. I personally feel that the younger generation gets bashed unfairly and painted negatively with a broad brush that is undeserved.  

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,995
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Another Wedding Gift Experience

It's true that a gift is intended to please the recipient. It is also true that informing the giver what gift is wanted without being asked is an unacceptable lack of manners.

 

The ploy of funding a house, honeymoon...is, in fact, a thinly veiled request for a cash gift. It's poor taste, tacky, another lack of good manners.

 

An invitation to a wedding requires a gift of those attending but it should not be mentioned. Otherwise it becomes a cover charge. Next it will be selling tickets to the wedding and having a raffle at the reception.

Regular Contributor
Posts: 202
Registered: ‎03-28-2011

Re: Another Wedding Gift Experience


@occasionalrain wrote:

It's true that a gift is intended to please the recipient. It is also true that informing the giver what gift is wanted without being asked is an unacceptable lack of manners.

 

The ploy of funding a house, honeymoon...is, in fact, a thinly veiled request for a cash gift. It's poor taste, tacky, another lack of good manners.

 

An invitation to a wedding requires a gift of those attending but it should not be mentioned. Otherwise it becomes a cover charge. Next it will be selling tickets to the wedding and having a raffle at the reception.


We all have our own thoughts and opinions on the subject.  You and I see it differently.  I really don't mind knowing what the couple would enjoy and/or plan to spend the money on.  To me it is more tacky to accept the invitation, then disrespect the couple's gift wishes if you are going to be giving a gift.  Different views on today's traditions in this changing world.

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Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,000
Registered: ‎02-14-2017

Re: Another Wedding Gift Experience

Brides are so busy in the lead up to the wedding, the probably just have all these notifications filtered into a folder on their email and no one is really keeping close tabs.