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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,258
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Re: Another Wedding Gift Experience

[ Edited ]

@Trinity11 wrote:

@OKPrincess wrote:

Welcome to the entitled expected generation. The entitled generation expects a big lavish wedding, expensive impractical lavish gift list (what happened to pots and pans, dishes, sheets and towels), and help with over-the-top honeymoons.

 

Everything in life so far has been handed to this generation so why stop now? Along the way they weren’t taught proper etiquette, hand-written thank you notes, etc.

 

Where were these entitlements and expectations way back in the good old days?


Broad brush. That may be your encounters but certainly not mine. 

 

I guess I am lucky because our circle of friends and the young people I know are the antithesis of what you are describing.

 

 


Mine are too.

 

I've attending many, many weddings in my lifetime (including several quite recently), and I have always received a thank-you note.  People who use bridal registries aren't telling people what to buy - Registries simply provide suggestions, designed to make gift-buying easier for the giver.  Everyone is free to give anything they want, on or off the registry, or nothing at all.

 

As for "lavish weddings", I had a very lavish wedding.  More than 40 years ago.  Nearly everyone I knew at that time did.  We weren't "entitled", we wrote thank-you notes, were appreciative of anything anyone did for us, and believe me, I did not grow up at all spoiled.  My father was one of the strictest parents I've ever seen.  Lavish weddings (which are in the eye of the beholder anyway) are nothing new.  I went to plenty of extremely lavish weddings decades ago.

 

In my experience, weddings are actually more varied now than just big extravaganzas, some of which tend to be rather cookie-cutter.  In recent years, I've been to everything from a 4-day celebration in Europe to a backyard above-ground pool party where the bride wore a bathing suit with a white cover-up, and hamburgers & hot dogs were served.  Some went on fancy honeymooons, others a night or two in a hotel, and others no honeymoon at all.  None of these people were "entitled". They had the kind of weddings they wanted, and could afford, and every one of these weddings were lovely and joyous.

 

I disagree strongly that this is "the entitled generation".  Every generation since the beginning of time has found fault with those younger, and there has always been a great deal of nostalgia for "the good old days".  The people who are complaining now most certainly had their own generation criticized too.

 

@Trinity11is absolutely right.  Broad brush.  It's unfair to characterize an entire generation in such a negative way when there are many shining examples of the exact opposite.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,205
Registered: ‎11-16-2014

Re: Another Wedding Gift Experience

@NYC Susan, well said. Articulate and I am in agreement. 

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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,258
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Re: Another Wedding Gift Experience


@Trinity11 wrote:

@NYC Susan, well said. Articulate and I am in agreement. 


 

Thank you!

 

 

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,027
Registered: ‎04-03-2016

Re: Another Wedding Gift Experience

Someone very well stated that we can’t draw general conclusions about a generation. I have to stop myself when making comments or criticisms. Many, not all, practice what they were/were not shown. I do know that for myself I am put out with those who have no time to acknowledge gifts. If they can’t acknowledge graduation gifts then I will reflect my displeasure in the gifts that are to follow (graduations, weddings)
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,243
Registered: ‎03-14-2010

Re: Another Wedding Gift Experience

I wish the site would just mark an item purchased....like they did when my last daughter married....but they didn't indicate who purchased anything. I like to know if only 6 of 8 glasses have been purchased, for example...then I know to buy two to finish their set.
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,243
Registered: ‎03-14-2010

Re: Another Wedding Gift Experience

No way would I ever be a part of that
Regular Contributor
Posts: 226
Registered: ‎03-28-2011

Re: Another Wedding Gift Experience

I have no problem with gift registries and/or requests to help fund a honeymoon, etc.

 

I know many millenials as my own daughters are in this age group and a I was GS Leader for over 14 years.  All the ones I personally know are definitely not greedy, are polite and well behaved.  Of course a lot of credit can be given to their parents for raising them properly.  

 

We have a wedding coming up where the Bride and Groom and almost family.  We have known them both since they were pre-schoolers.  They started dating in high school and now at 28 and 31 will be married.  Along the way they moved in together, then recently built a new home.   Both have decent blue collar type jobs and really "need" nothing. 

 

There will be a Jack and Jill shower/pool party at the groom's parent's.  I am giving the Bride a philosophy kit "Here Comes the Bride" and a pair of Victoria Secret "Bride" undies. The groom has requested a 6 pack of craft beer from everyone Smiley Happy     I also saw a nice welcome mat with an H for their last name at either HSN or QVC for approx. $30 and ordered it for the front door.  For the wedding I am giving them $300 worth of gas cards that I paid $240 for through an ongoing grocery store promo.

 

When my niece got married a few years ago for the 1st time at age 40, it was very tastefully stated that the couple needed nothing, but, if guests wanted to contribute funds for the honeymoon it would be greatly appreciated and a link was put up to donate.  I thought this was a wonderful idea.   

 

As for the couple mentioned who quit their jobs and planned to travel the world for year..........more power to them.   I would definitely gift them money fort this great adventure.  The world has changed and priorities have changed.  If being unencumbered by things and traveling while young and childless is their idea of life, who am I to say it isn't right.  

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,494
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Another Wedding Gift Experience

@Miss Shelly - can you explain to me what exactly a Jack & Jill is?  I've heard different explanations and I'm still confused!

 

As far as I know, it's not a NJ/NY thing.  The last two showers I went to were regular bridal showers.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,498
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Another Wedding Gift Experience


@missy1 wrote:

@schmadsquad wrote:

This was a new one for me: bride & groom quit their jobs and after wedding will take a year to travel the world. Their on-line registry described various tours on their agenda (i.e. African Safari) and asked guests to pick a tour and donate money. 

 

 

 

Nice they both can afford to quit their jobs. Reality will hit when they come home. (unless they are wealthy or their family is) Tacky registry. I would not donate to their traveling around the world, for a year.


 


Tacky is right.  I don't like the idea of registries any way and expecting others to finance their trip is just wrong to me.  Can't afford it? Stay home and work until you can.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,258
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Re: Another Wedding Gift Experience

[ Edited ]

@CelticCrafter wrote:

@Miss Shelly - can you explain to me what exactly a Jack & Jill is?  I've heard different explanations and I'm still confused!

 

As far as I know, it's not a NJ/NY thing.  The last two showers I went to were regular bridal showers.


 

I've been to Jack & Jill showers in both NY and NJ.  It's a shower for both bride and groom, not just the bride.