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Honored Contributor
Posts: 30,802
Registered: ‎05-10-2010

Re: Another Question about How Much Cash for Wedding Gift

If all she can afford is $100 for the wedding gift, that's all she should give.  A $100 gift certificate.  Or she can choose something from the registry that she can afford.  It's unlikey that everything she can afford has already be purchased.  There are some things that the couple would want duplicates of.  Like wine glasses, goblets etc.  Yes, weddings are expensive today and it's hard on young people who don't have a lot of money but attending weddings, showers etc of people we barely know is a choice.  It seems to me that this bride is not even a friend of your daughter's, the grandfather seems to be the connection.  She's young so it's understandable that she is wrong about  "paying for your plate".  If that were case, couples would just sell tickets to their wedding.  $100 works.  Choosing a gift that looks like it's expensive would also work.  I did that for the last wedding we attended.  It was the bride's third wedding in less than 10 years.  Our families are close, my daughter was a bridesmaid but we were very generous the last two times.  I found a beautiful large cut glass bowl at T.J. Maxx.  The type of thing you see in pictures in magazines;  it was marked down to $69.00.  I assume the bachelortte party in Vegas is for some other bride.  If she can't afford it, she shouldn't go.  No one attends every social event or party they are invited too, even when cost is not a factor.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 32,261
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Another Question about How Much Cash for Wedding Gift


@sunshine45 wrote:

@Goldengate8361 wrote:

@Sooner I totally agree with you! Simple receptions (without alcohol, too) without a sit down dinner are SO much more enjoyable for everyone. The event should be about the happy couple, not impressing peopls. A wedding is not a business venture.


 

@Goldengate8361 

@Sooner 

 

i am 57 years old and have never heard of or been invited to a wedding that does not include food and music.


@sunshine45   Well, obviously I come from a different planet than you do. LOL!!!

Honored Contributor
Posts: 32,261
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Another Question about How Much Cash for Wedding Gift

I don't think it is as much a regional thing as an economic thing.  To talk about $100 is a dinner out for some and a big chunk of the rent for others.

 

It's something to spend off the cuff for some and part of a week's pay or maybe more than 1 tenth of the social security check for others.  

 

You may pay $100 at the salon, I may pay $100 to the electric company.  A $100 bill is something in the wallet to some, and something they never see to others. 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 13,760
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Another Question about How Much Cash for Wedding Gift


@jannabelle1 wrote:

I'm still stuck on the fact that your DD is going to fly to Vegas and spend over $1000 for a bachelorette party! What is with these expensive bachelor/bachelorette parties that are at expensive destinations? Anyway, back to the wedding gift - if it's her own money then I'd say it's her decision. I think $100 is too much in this case.


@jannabelle1 - If it was optional, she said she wouldn't do it. But it's not - she's in the wedding. Smiley Frustrated

Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,590
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Another Question about How Much Cash for Wedding Gift


@sunshine45 wrote:

@Goldengate8361 wrote:

@Sooner I totally agree with you! Simple receptions (without alcohol, too) without a sit down dinner are SO much more enjoyable for everyone. The event should be about the happy couple, not impressing peopls. A wedding is not a business venture.


 

@Goldengate8361 

@Sooner 

 

i am 57 years old and have never heard of or been invited to a wedding that does not include food and music.


Same here.  I’ve attended weddings all over the country 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 41,176
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Another Question about How Much Cash for Wedding Gift


@september wrote:

@sunshine45 wrote:

@Goldengate8361 wrote:

@Sooner I totally agree with you! Simple receptions (without alcohol, too) without a sit down dinner are SO much more enjoyable for everyone. The event should be about the happy couple, not impressing peopls. A wedding is not a business venture.


 

@Goldengate8361 

@Sooner 

 

i am 57 years old and have never heard of or been invited to a wedding that does not include food and music.


Same here.  I’ve attended weddings all over the country 


 

 

 

yes @september .....so have i.....in AND out of the country.

 

 

i am also in the process of  planning a wedding for my daughter.

i cannot imagine NOT feedling our guests......

********************************************
"The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing." - Albert Einstein
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,889
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Re: Another Question about How Much Cash for Wedding Gift


@Goldengate8361 wrote:

@Sooner I totally agree with you! Simple receptions (without alcohol, too) without a sit down dinner are SO much more enjoyable for everyone. The event should be about the happy couple, not impressing peopls. A wedding is not a business venture.


 

I don't think they're more enjoyable for everyone. 

 

I love sit-down dinners, and spending a lot of time celebrating the joy of a new marriage.  And I love weddings that are more simple and on a smaller scale too.  I've never viewed weddings that include music, dinner, alcohol, etc. as "business ventures".  I've been to very lavish weddings that had nothing to do with impressing people.  The couples had the means to have the kind of weddings they wanted and they provided their guests with a wonderful time.

 

I've enjoyed the simple weddings I've been to (one was a very casual barbeque).   And I've enjoyed many extremely fancy weddings.   And everything in between.  

 

All of these weddings WERE about the couple,.  And every couple should have the wedding they want to have.  It's perfectly possible to have a big, beautiful wedding with all the trimmings that is simply what the couple wants and has nothing at all to do with impressing others.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,889
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Re: Another Question about How Much Cash for Wedding Gift


@Sooner wrote:

I don't think it is as much a regional thing as an economic thing.  To talk about $100 is a dinner out for some and a big chunk of the rent for others.

 

It's something to spend off the cuff for some and part of a week's pay or maybe more than 1 tenth of the social security check for others.  

 

You may pay $100 at the salon, I may pay $100 to the electric company.  A $100 bill is something in the wallet to some, and something they never see to others. 


 

It's definitely regional.  The typical amount is far more in certain parts of the country than others.  It's always been that way.  $100 would be considered extremely generous in some areas and pretty standard (or low) in others.

 

Costs for rent, hair salons, restaurants, etc, vary by quite a lot depending where people live so it makes sense that the average amount given for gifts would vary too. 

 

If the average amount in someone's area feels like too much, they certainly can give less.  No one should give more than they can comfortably afford, no matter where they live.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 18,343
Registered: ‎10-25-2010

Re: Another Question about How Much Cash for Wedding Gift

In my area $100 for a wedding gift to a non-best friend or relative is approperiate and common.  Of course, if you can't afford it, it's okay to give less.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,889
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Re: Another Question about How Much Cash for Wedding Gift


@sunshine45 wrote:

@september wrote:

@sunshine45 wrote:

@Goldengate8361 wrote:

@Sooner I totally agree with you! Simple receptions (without alcohol, too) without a sit down dinner are SO much more enjoyable for everyone. The event should be about the happy couple, not impressing peopls. A wedding is not a business venture.


 

@Goldengate8361 

@Sooner 

 

i am 57 years old and have never heard of or been invited to a wedding that does not include food and music.


Same here.  I’ve attended weddings all over the country 


 

 

 

yes @september .....so have i.....in AND out of the country.

 

 

i am also in the process of  planning a wedding for my daughter.

i cannot imagine NOT feedling our guests......


 

Me too!  I can't imagine not providing food, and I've never been to a wedding - in the US or elsewhere - that didn't have food and music.  Even the most simple weddings.