Community Chat

[Citrine1]

I detest that question.

Two good answers:  Sit on my a** and eat bon bons.  

I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.

[OKPrincess]

My favorite response is what day is it?

[Nataliesgramma]

"Must be nice to do nothing all day"

[kate2357]

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@fairydogmother wrote:

I couldn't care less what anyone says to me about retirement, it's such a minor thing to me. 
When my son was killed, people also said a lot of cliched, useless, insensitive things. 
I learned from that to give people grace. I doubt if anyone gets up in the morning and makes a conscious decision to be rude. 
Smile and move on. 

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I agree. I think sometimes we jump to the wrong conclusion when we assume a person meant something mean or harmful in their question(s)/comment(s). Not everyone is gifted at small talk or knowing how to start a conversation ... I know I'm not always the best communicator. 

And you're right @fairydogmother I really do struggle when speaking to someone who lost a loved one. It's so hard to know how to give comfort w/o also evoking additional sorrow. This past year two friends I had known for over 20 years unexpectedly passed away and I had no idea how to comfort their mothers. I can only hope my words were received w/ the intention I meant to convey...which was love and support during a very difficult time.

[Rockycoast]

 my husband recently retired. I have been retired longer.  Our response to that question has been "anything we want to do" and it is a truthful answer.  I don't find the question insulting. Just something the other person uses as a conversation starter.

[SeaMaiden]

I hate that people act like  I need to be busy because I am retired....no, I am never busy and I am lazy and do nothing a lot of the time. If you need to be busy, then just keep working.  I retired so I DO NOT  HAVE TO BE BUSY. 

[Daisy Sunflower]

I think most people, who aren't jealous/resentful, would ask the retiree how they're enjoying retirement -- or ask if they have any special plans -- not ask what they do all day. jmo

[Roscoe the Rascal]

Well I am not retired and I get tired of people who say when are you going to retire?  

Yes I could,  but not ready yet.  I just say one of these days.  

[Sooner]

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@Daisy Sunflower wrote:

I think most people, who aren't jealous/resentful, would ask the retiree how they're enjoying retirement -- or ask if they have any special plans -- not ask what they do all day. jmo

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@Daisy Sunflower On the other hand, do you always have the right thing to say on the tip of your tongue?  I sure don't.  I can truthfully I have worried more about what I said to others that maybe was taken wrong than things they said to me that had no mean intent behind it but may be odd on the surface.  

But that's me and I probably talk more than necessary in uncomfortable situations.  

[Tinkrbl44]

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@KKJ wrote:

Am recently retired and find one of the most annoying things people ask me is  "so what do you do all day?"  Ugh!

And then when I mention a certain project/activity I'm involved in, they will respond with  "well good, that will give you something to do."   SMH

Anyone else find comments like these kind of insulting?

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@KKJ 

Unless you know for a fact that the person is trying to be insulting, I think what's behind the question is wondering how you fill your time .... and it's a fair question for someone who hasn't yet retired.

Years ago, before he retired, my Dad got pretty nervous about "what will I do all day?     A few years later he recalled his anxiety and commented that he's so busy these days, that if he had to get a job again, he didn't know how he could ever fit it into his  busy schedule!  LOL