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04-27-2018 05:08 PM
I think most women have either been abused in some way or know an abuser. Too often, people only look at public actions of people and will not believe anything negative that is said. Just recently, a friend confided that she stopped taking a class at the Y because one of the men kept saying inappropriate things to her during class as they had to partner on several of the exercises. I, too, had received an inappropriate comment from him outside of the Y. When my friend told me this, I passed the info on to my personal trainer, since she runs the classes. The partnership exercises have stopped. It is difficult sometimes to speak up, but we all have an obligation to do so.
04-27-2018 06:40 PM
In my monthly dinner group of four -- all four of us have known one another for 40 years - we all experienced abuse as girls and none of it came from strangers.
In my monthly coffee klatch group of three - all three experienced abuse as girls. Only one from a 'stranger' or boss at work when she worked in a restaurant in high school. Her car didn't start and he gave her a ride home. Detour. Threatened her if she exposed him. She went to school with his daughter.
My two daughters experienced rape during college years. One from a chiropractor she was part-time receptionist for. He asked her to stay late to assist with 'phony' appointment. Other daughter had spiked drink. Learned about this in their mid twenties and they immediately got counseling. Both were threatened not to tell.
Neice had date rape experienced from a guy in her engineering club in college. His dad was rich and he was frat boy. She told administration and pack of frat boys made her life miserable until she transferred. She didn't tell her mom until later years.
Sis-in-law assaulted by funny uncle when she was a young teen. Broke the family apart when she told, but parents didn't immediately believe her. Later believed her when kept happening to other girl cousins.
I was fired from my job, right out of college, because I wouldn't stay late and fool around with old coot with power in the company. Fired the next day. They were down sizing. That was the first I heard of it. Middle aged HR woman wouldn't let me speak about my experience..
Most every woman I know has experienced some level of this. Sadly. Yes, we have to keep talking about it.
04-27-2018 06:56 PM
As an abused child I would never let anyone abuse me in any way as an adult. I'm not saying no one tried, but when the incidents occurred I screamed my head off or made sure in no uncertain terms that the guy or gal knew I was not going to put up with such treatment. I never wanted any job as much as I wanted my self respect and peace of mind. I know the difference between a good loving person and a creep.
04-27-2018 09:20 PM
And some here wonder why women don't "speak up."
04-27-2018 11:29 PM
We can be supportive of one another without judging how others react to traumatic events. It's such a hurtful and shameful moment that both women and men endure.
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