Community Chat

[Cakers3]

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@SusieQ_2 wrote:

It's no surprise the media has been following this story. Kate Spade was a celebrity, she lived in the public eye, had an enormous amount of fans, followers, and admirers of both her talent and her work. If I had killed myself I guarantee the media would not be knocking on people's doors to get the story and report on every news channel. We've discussed it here in depth regarding other celebrities who complain about having to trade privacy for fame. Like it or not it's reality.

Right, or wrong, people are interested in what causes a woman who seemingly had it all to take her own life. Apparently things are not always as they seem, especially in the privacy of one's own home.

Yes, it's a shame that Andy had to come out with a statement regarding his truth about Kate's suicide but that's another reality set in motion by someone who was obviously suffering a great deal. It also sounds from the statement he gave he's a grieving spouse who's still in denial regarding the severity of Kate's depression. The problem with celebrity is it's not a faucet that can be turned on when it benefits and turned off when tragedy strikes. It's a bit of a two-edged sword. 

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@SusieQ_2  I agree that celebrities are going to be targets for the media when something happens.  That is a given.

I also agree that it is human nature to be interested in Kate's death just as it is human nature to be interested in any person in the spotlight.

The problem I have is the mish-mash of info "out there" that is reflected here:

"I thought I heard"

"I thought I read"

"I know somebody who thought they heard/read"

"The note means Daddy is to blame"

etc. etc. etc.

Not to mention the armchair psychologists determining exactly what Kate was going through and why her meds (not even knowing what those may have been) are not working.  Or submitted diagnoses.

Then the usual analyses of what a terrible person Kate was to do that to her daughter.

These are the issues that cross the line;  it's one thing to have sympathy; it's another to speculate in the media and here.

DIscussing determined facts is one thing; tossing out shots at Kate as a person and shots at Andy as a person is not being interested; it's being rude and unkind.

[WenGirl42]

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@sidsmom wrote:

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@SusieQ_2 wrote:

@sidsmom, I think the husband is denying that Kate was abusing alcohol. I also think he (or other family members?) are saying Kate and her sister, Reta, hadn't spoken in years. Although, considering she hid the severity of her depression from him so well as we read in his statement, and they weren't even living together, it's pretty conceivable there were other things she may have hidden as well. Other than that I have no idea. 

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Thanks for the explanation.

I watched cable news off/on yesterday about her death and

I don’t recall anyone citing alcoholism or family discord...

so that’s why I was questioning his statement to

“set things right” (my words). 

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@sidsmom just going by what I've read in the threads here, his statement contradicts that she wasn't treating her illness and that he had asked for a divorce, and questions the existence or content of the reported note left behind.  At least the first 2 seem completely reasonable for him to want to set things right on...maybe not the 3rd if he just "hasn't seen it" as opposed to knowing otherwise.

[sidsmom]

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@WenGirl42 wrote:

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@sidsmom wrote:

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@SusieQ_2 wrote:

@sidsmom, I think the husband is denying that Kate was abusing alcohol. I also think he (or other family members?) are saying Kate and her sister, Reta, hadn't spoken in years. Although, considering she hid the severity of her depression from him so well as we read in his statement, and they weren't even living together, it's pretty conceivable there were other things she may have hidden as well. Other than that I have no idea. 

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Thanks for the explanation.

I watched cable news off/on yesterday about her death and

I don’t recall anyone citing alcoholism or family discord...

so that’s why I was questioning his statement to

“set things right” (my words). 

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@sidsmom just going by what I've read in the threads here, his statement contradicts that she wasn't treating her illness and that he had asked for a divorce, and questions the existence or content of the reported note left behind.  At least the first 2 seem completely reasonable for him to want to set things right on...maybe not the 3rd if he just "hasn't seen it" as opposed to knowing otherwise. 

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I’m in agreement with @phoenixbrd upthread (#3)...

My gut says his ‘grey’ talk is protecting her financial holdings or

even laying the foundation for medical legal actions down the road.

IMO

[Skididdy]

Such a sad ending to such a beautiful , talented woman !

To take her life in such a way, she had to be hurting so.

Mental illness seems to be at its highest rate these past yrs.

Sad and criminal that the president of our beautiful country has cut

mental health services by over 30%...makes no sense !  UGH.

Just simply ...REST IN PEACE KATE SPADE.  BE THE GUARDIAN OF YOUR PRECIOUS GIRL AND HUSBAND.  BE PEACEFUL NOW WITH  THE WARMTH OF OUR LORDS ARMS AROUND YOU.

[chrystaltree]

It is sad that he has to make such a statement when he should have been given the space to grieve and support his child and plan a funeral but that's what suicide does to a family.  It creates pain and devastation and guilt on top of grief for those who are left behind.  

[CANDLEQUEEN]

It is sad and unfortunate, families deserve privacy to plan and to grieve, but unfortunately when you are well known, it doesn't happen that way..Think of the celebs who have passed and look at how the press acted. I remember watching something not too long ago, that showed the paparazzi trying to snap photos of Michael Jackson in the ambulance.

There is always speculation and gossip that comes out after the famous person passes as well-like I said it is very very unfortunate and especially when there are children involved but these are the times in which we live......

I am sure there will be even more things said in the future that may or may not be true, her husband will just have to shield their daughter as best as he can from it all...

I remember hearing Paris Jackson say My daddy was the best daddy in the world and he was just my daddy to me...... 

[Isobel Archer]

Yes there is all kind of speculation when a famous person dies.

I certainly don't want to be "unkind" in questioning both the press and the husband's statements.

If we really shouldn't discuss it other than to express sympathy, then I guess all umpleasant drama about famous persons should also be off limits for discussion as we certainly can't know the "true facts" in their entirety.  So is that the new standard here?

[Pearlee]

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@RoughDraft wrote:

And the suppositions and guestimates continue.  Next will be conspiracies.  There's no rational way to deal with the public these days.

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Including the people who are posting here on this subject.

[SusieQ_2]

" @SusieQ_2  I agree that celebrities are going to be targets for the media when something happens.  That is a given.

I also agree that it is human nature to be interested in Kate's death just as it is human nature to be interested in any person in the spotlight.

The problem I have is the mish-mash of info "out there" that is reflected here:

"I thought I heard"

"I thought I read"

"I know somebody who thought they heard/read"

"The note means Daddy is to blame"

etc. etc. etc.

Not to mention the armchair psychologists determining exactly what Kate was going through and why her meds (not even knowing what those may have been) are not working.  Or submitted diagnoses.

Then the usual analyses of what a terrible person Kate was to do that to her daughter.

These are the issues that cross the line;  it's one thing to have sympathy; it's another to speculate in the media and here.

DIscussing determined facts is one thing; tossing out shots at Kate as a person and shots at Andy as a person is not being interested; it's being rude and unkind." @Cakers3

Good morning, Cakers. 

I understand what you're saying but it doesn't really bother me for several reasons. Just as you said above--it's a given celebrities are targets for media when things happen--it's also a given they will be targets in chat rooms, at get togethers where people exchange information, and on message boards like this one, etc.

People don't want to wait until the time all the exact details emerge. It happened today (as an example) so they want to discuss it today. And because the media doesn't always get it right, many of those details are brought here in the form of, as you put it, "I thought I read" or "This is what I heard" because many times they did hear or read those things. As new details emerge those details will be introduced into the conversation as well.

I also look at armchair psychologists as just that. This isn't a medical office and we aren't drs. We all take things said here, or at least we should, with a grain of salt. We either agree, disagree, or optimally (if interested) do our research to make educated opinions of our own. 

Taking shots, being rude and unkind? Welcome to Community Chat! We've both been here long enough to know it happens day in and day out regardless of the topic. Were you here for the royal wedding? How about the piling on when a woman was upset about her dogs in a coffee shop? 

One reason comments don't bother me much on this topic is that I know the parties involved are never going to make their way to the Q message board to read them. Trust me, Andy Spade will never be reading this just as Duchess Meghan will never read anything, good or bad, written about her here. The woman with the dog on the other hand was here for the entire thrashing. Did she deserve it? Some would say yes, others no, but should any of it come as a surprise when we log on to CC day after day? After all my time here I know what to expect, and how to handle it, should I find myself too upset by it. I know you do as well...I've seen you taking breaks now & then.

My last thought, and sorry this has been so lengthy, is that a lot of people want to talk about these things because it's downright frightening to think "Could this happen to me?" or "Is there someone I know who this could happen to?" That's where much of the analysis and the "I heard this happened" comes from. Bottom line for me is I don't think most people are coming at this trying to be hurtful. Maybe some are, but not the majority. And again, we know where we are, what to expect, and what to do when it gets to be too much. 

Sometimes tone is hard to read in online comments. I hope this reads as coming from a place of thoughtfulness and understanding. 

[LTT1]

@SeaMaiden@Pearlee@Isobel Archer@CANDLEQUEEN@chrystaltree

I think there are inconsistencies in the  statements created for the “public.”

Someone “official” let the information out about the note when they were instructed not to.

Who told that her husband was “in the apartment” when she committed the act? That has led to speculation and confusion.

Everyone would like to have a timeline...but it appears that a timeline is for the authorities to decide. 

There are legal considerations for so many details...the will, etc.

On Twitter vile accusations concerning Andy Spade abound...most are probably just fake. However, these allegations bring up more questions for me.

Remember how we have never known the full truth about Natalie Wood? How will we ever know?