Community Chat

[Bri63]

At least $100.

[Imaoldhippie]

I have always given what I can afford.  If they dont like it tough nuggies.

[nyc1]

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@ID2 wrote:

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@blackhole99 wrote:

I was giving 100 dollars for a wedding gift 40 years ago. My niece just got married and we gave them 500 dollars. Thank goodness we only have 2 nephews who are not married yet.

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I think you are being a bit dramatic! I got married 40 years ago, this month, and no one gave us $100 as a standard wedding gift. I remember receiving $10 in a card from my dh's side of the family widows. 

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@ID2

 I think it must depend on where you live.  40 years ago in the NYC area,  they were giving $75 & $100 to family members and close friends.

[JeanLouiseFinch]

My understanding is that the rule of thumb to go by is to give at least equal to the cost of your meal (or meals, if your spouse or SO is accompanying you) at the reception.  That can differ from region to region.  If you don't know the couple well and plan not to attend, you aren't under any obligation to send a gift.  If you still choose to, it can be less than the "rule".  

My son recently got married.  Some guests were considerate and generous while others gave nothing at all even though they (and their spouse/SO) ate the meal of their choice and had free drinks.  Go figure.    

[Mominohio]

For the distance of this relationship, and the fact you are not attending, I would say $25 is more than enough, unless you can afford more and want to give more. 

I simply don't believe in inviting people on the 'fringe' of my life to things like this, and I don't want an invite either. It always looks and feels like a gift grab. 

[Mj12]

The son of a friend?  At least $100.  If a really close friend, more.  

[CelticCrafter]

If I wasn't going to attend, I would give them $50.

If I were going, $250.

[missy1]

Give what you can afford.

[151949]

I think this varies by where in the country you live , your financial means, how well you know the bride or groom, or do you only know the parents. 

In the circumstances you mentioned - since your not attending - I would send $50.  However, as I mentioned  - it depends on where you live. $50 in Pittsburgh or my community in Fl. is much different than $50 in NYC or LA.

[beckyb1012]

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@Mominohio wrote:

For the distance of this relationship, and the fact you are not attending, I would say $25 is more than enough, unless you can afford more and want to give more. 

I simply don't believe in inviting people on the 'fringe' of my life to things like this, and I don't want an invite either. It always looks and feels like a gift grab. 

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I agree with the entire statement and the amount.  If this was your best/bestest firend's child then absolutely more money would be appropriate.  The fringe as you call them @Mominohio always makes me wonder if I am going to be getting baby shower then birthday party invites for the next 10 years or more. 

Have I given so much for a wedding gift to someone I hardly knew just set me up for needing to do equal for children I may never lay eyes on?  May sound petty but I have had invites come from people who I wonder why was I still on their lists?