Re: Amount for wedding gift

JeanLouiseFinch · ‎10-03-2011

@PatriciaG wrote:
@JeanLouiseFinch So was the purpose of inviting people to a wedding is just to receive gifts and money? That an invited guest is expected to pay the cost of their attendance? Something is wrong with that. I thought the purpose was to share in the celebration of wedding. Why not charge at the door?

Oh brother, @PatriciaG, don't be silly. Of course, the purpose of inviting people is to share in the joy and celebration of the bride and groom. I just shared what I've known to be customary.

PatriciaG · ‎03-21-2017

@JeanLouiseFinch - sorry, I guess when I invite people to a party, I am not thinking in the back of my mind, that everyone should be bringing gifts at least worth the cost of their dinner. Ive never heard of that being customary.

Shepherd · ‎08-08-2017

If you Google this question, you'll see a range of dollar figures. You will also see it mentioned paying enough to cover the price of the meal. Outdated. I personally feel the figures they suggest are high. Especially if you are not close to or know the bride & groom that well. It just feels like you were given an invite so that you'll feel obligated to gift the couple.

The notion of “paying for your plate” doesn’t apply anymore. This idea, which is somewhat old-fashioned, came out of a generous thought: That weddings are expensive to throw, so the guests should give back. But Lizzie Post, the great-great-granddaughter of etiquette expert Emily Post, says this rule is long dead. Besides, as a guest, you shouldn’t know how much the hosts paid for the wedding!

suburbanone · ‎10-30-2016

I was married 10 years ago, am in my mid 40s and we had a medium sized wedding, 100 people. Close friends and family. We live in a major city and this was held at a museum downtown. All that being said, most cash gifts were around $150-$250 per couple. A few gave higher (boss, fmaily membersm etc) and many gave gifts off the registry. I think in the end the total cash we received was around $8000-$9000.

We have also been to several weddings in the last 10 years of close friends and we always gave at least $250.....our rule of thub was to attemot to cover our plate charge. We gave more once or twice for family.

I will also add that a couple of people did not give anything. Card, gift, nothing. Which I thought was rude. I did at least expect a card. Nor cash, but a card.

If I am invited to a wedding that I can't attebd I always like to send a gift off the registry a couple of days after the wedding.

kelsey17 · ‎04-10-2012

I would give $75.00

Lipstickdiva · ‎03-10-2010

@JeanLouiseFinch wrote:
My understanding is that the rule of thumb to go by is to give at least equal to the cost of your meal (or meals, if your spouse or SO is accompanying you) at the reception. That can differ from region to region. If you don't know the couple well and plan not to attend, you aren't under any obligation to send a gift. If you still choose to, it can be less than the "rule".

My son recently got married. Some guests were considerate and generous while others gave nothing at all even though they (and their spouse/SO) ate the meal of their choice and had free drinks. Go figure.

This is not a rule of thumb by anyone I know. I only heard about that on this board. How would anyone know what the cost of meals would be? Doesn't make sense to me.

If someone chooses to have a wedding at a country club and spend $200.00 a head, that's on them. I don't give them anymore then I do someone who has their wedding at a local Elks club.

I also don't think you should expect to make money at your wedding. I invited people I wanted to share in my special day, not because I thought they'd give a lot of money.

viva923 · ‎03-12-2010

I usually send what I can legally afford and not go into debt for any kind of gift.

even family weddings I stay within means. I can't see going into debt for a wedding gift or any gift itself.

sunala · ‎03-09-2010

@ID2 wrote:
@blackhole99 wrote:
I was giving 100 dollars for a wedding gift 40 years ago. My niece just got married and we gave them 500 dollars. Thank goodness we only have 2 nephews who are not married yet.
I think you are being a bit dramatic! I got married 40 years ago, this month, and no one gave us $100 as a standard wedding gift. I remember receiving $10 in a card from my dh's side of the family widows.

50 years ago Mr. Sunny and I received several $25 bonds, mostly from co-workers of mine, Mr. Sunny's, and my dad's. Close friends gave considerably more, and family gave more still.

I really believe it depends on where you live. In my part of the country, I could never get away with giving $100 (or less) to anyone who is getting married unless they're total strangers, and then why would they invite me? A friend's granddaughter was getting married and I think we gave $300. I know, it's a lot of money, but it's the price you pay to share in the joy of your family and friends. As far as a tangible gift like a kitchen appliance or a piece of crystal, I don't think I've ever given that type of gift for a wedding. Showers yes, but never otherwise. But I do know that in other parts of the country those items are given at weddings or sent to the bride before the wedding.

This is such a hairy topic!

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