Re: Am I too critical ?

muttmom · ‎11-28-2012

Next time you drive, remind her you paid for her parking.

chickenbutt · ‎03-09-2010

tennpal wrote:
I don't think you're too critical... in fact, it kind of seems like she was rubbing her winnings in your face.

can't break a hundred. oh. really. sheesh.

Yeah, that's basically how it felt to me. Gee, you only have hundreds. It breaks my heart. Maybe it wasn't meant like that, but it would feel like that if I were on the other end of it.

Bottom line for me is that it was her turn. It wasn't like she didn't have any ccash. A responsible, thoughtful person would have contemplated the need to have smaller denominations on hand before leaving the casino to go to the valet. But mostly, she KNEW it was her turn to pay and it's not like she was dead broke.

Maybe I just think too much, but it makes sense to me, not only for the benefit of setting myself up properly for the next thing, but to consider whomever else is on the other end of it, especially a friend. It's not like it's that difficult! It's just basic grown-up behavior, IMO.

I'm not trying to hang her by the highest tree, either. Just stating the facts of the matter.

brbfromTX · ‎01-19-2015

@humpty dumpty wrote:

My friend and I went to the casino for the day ... we decided to meet for dinner at 5:00 and then went our separate ways ... while having dinner we compared notes ... it turns out she had won $1,000 and I had lost $300 ...

We left after dinner and she said to me, "Would you pay for parking? I don't want to break a $100 bill" ...

Since she had won and I had lost, I thought that was very unthoughtful and ignorant of her ... am I being too critical?

To me: No you are not being too criticial. She doesn't sound like a very considerate friend. After you had lost money, she should have had some compassion for your circumstance. A true friend would have picked up the dinner tab and paid for parking-that's just my opinion.

goodstuff · ‎03-09-2010

If you two plan to do more outings together, it's probably time for you to revisit who will pay for what and get a clear understanding of what's expected so you'll both be on the same page next time.

There's a fair amount of expense and trouble in one of these little trips: gas, wear and tear on the car, the actual work of driving, and the cost of parking at your destination. Having one person pay for all of that isn't what I'd consider fair. I'd think if one of you drives her car, the one who is being driven should cover the parking and perhaps half of the gas.

I wouldn't get too bent out of shape over paying the parking charge this time. It was only a few dollars. Just be sure you talk with your friend and that you reach a mutual agreement before your next trip together. Who wins or loses in the casino shouldn't affect how you pay for the trip. Winning or losing is just the luck of the draw, and likely who wins and loses will change from trip to trip. I'd stick with the way you decide to divide the expenses regardless of who's lucky on a given day.

sam96 · ‎05-05-2015

I don't think you're being too critical, but I do think it's still nagging at you a bit. If you are close friends, call her and have an air-clearing conversation. You'll feel better for it and your friendship will be stronger. Otherwise, it could continue to peck at you.

Hayfield · ‎03-10-2010

Here's my take on the situation: If she has been your friend for a long time, and it's the the first time she has done something like this, then I'd let it go. If she does this all the time then yes, I don't think you're being overly critical. The friends that I've had over the years and do things with, that I've stayed friends with, don't do that to me. I have had people in my life that are constantly saying "they drove last time", "they paid last time" when then didn't. I dropped them, I won't be taken advantage of, it's not worth it. Yes, a parking lot attendant won't like making change for a $100 but the casino would've not problem doing that. I have a neighbor that lives across the street from me and she was such a PITA (Pain in the A**), when it came to driving, pitching in to pay for things, etc., that I totally stopped doing things with her, it was not worth it, she wasn't worth it. I don't like being taken advantage of. I'm not saying that friendships are always 50/50 but when they become 99/1, I'm outta there! I have to admit that I don't have many friends but the ones I have, I cherish, and I would do anything for them and vice versa.

amaivy · ‎05-06-2015

humpty dumpty – you wrote -

“It is not that I could not afford it and yes, it has happened before ... I don't let things like this bother me ... I just brought it up here to see what others thought about it .. I thought she was inconsiderate and wondered what others thought ... it is something I would never do and I get to wondering why people I call friends do these things to me ...:”

In my earlier post I was just throwing out some ideas to help you think out the situation and how you wanted to deal with it. I got that you wanted to see some opinions to verify or validate or maybe even change your own thoughts. That you would never do this indicates that you are thoughtful. Not everyone is. But, I bet your friend overlooks some flaws in you too – at least I hope so. Friends are special – we choose them.

MidNight · ‎08-28-2013

@humpty dumpty wrote:
6. She is a friend. Why not talk to her?

It is not that I could not afford it and yes, it has happened before ... I don't let things like this bother me ... I just brought it up here to see what others thought about it .. I thought she was inconsiderate and wondered what others thought ... it is something I would never do and I get to wondering why people I call friends do these things to me ...

I would not have paid and told her why..My belief is relationships are to teach us about ourselves and many times things like this can happen to teach us how to speak up and be more assertive..If it happens frequently you are not getting the lesson.Try speaking up with these friends and see how these lessons fall away...It works!

I have a dear friend who sometimes go and get and we have gone to the casino...Last time we went which was about 2 yrs ago she won over a 1,000 and only took 50.00...Me i lost 100....She paid for my dinner gas AND gave me the 100.00 back i lost..If it had been turned around and i won i would have done the same thing......Now this same friend does not know how to speak up when someone is taking advantage of her and so she pretty much gets taken advantage of frequintly..This last time was a 1 x cleaning she had a gal do and they did not do what she wanted and because she did not speak up she got ripped off for to much money paid for what little they did clean.TC.

new job · ‎05-09-2010

I would have been so happy that I had the good fortune of winning I would've paid for the parking no matter what the agreement was.

I would have offered to buy you lunch, dinner or at least a coffee. She could've used her comps for that.

When I go to the casino and win I give a little extra in tips and sometimes give an elderly person playing a slot machine a couple of bucks on me to gamble with. In fact, my husband and I just did that yesterday and believe me we got slaughtered at the casino.

I believe when you get good fortune you should "share, share, it's only fair" . You gotta give to get!. Some people may disagree with me but I don't think you are too crictical.

Scooby Doo · ‎03-14-2010

Probably. Are you sure it's not a case of sour grapes because she won this time and you lost? Relationships are give and take, so it depends on how much you value her friendship. When people start keeping score it's usually the beginning of the end of a relationship.