Am I being too sensitive? - Page 8

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

@Katcat1 wrote:
@ellaphant She is not a friend. A friend would invite you for Thanksgiving and Christmas since you are alone. Let her go and make new friends. She sounds very self absorbed.

They may not live anywhere near each other. (And the OP has said that being invited or not invited is not the issue.)

Also, they have been friends for a very long time. I would never advise ending a friendship without at least having an honest conversation. The friend can't be accused of being self-absorbed if she doesn't know how the OP feels. Throwing away a friendship that has otherwise been solid for decades makes no sense to me.

shoptilyadropagain · ‎03-19-2014

We all handle things differently but I think one of the best things a person can do for him/herself is to realize and accept that as you get older, the holidays are not going to be the same as they were in years past. I'm also well aware Christmas (or any holiday or milestone anniversary) can make a person blue and I'm certainly at an age where Christmas and other holidays just aren't the same for me. Your friend is just giving an account of her happy times with her family. I would only be hurt if she were doing it on purpose....and I don't believe that is the case.

Are you in a position where you can volunteer to serve meals at a homeless shelter, etc. I've been contemplating doing something like that especially at Thanksgiving. You could also adopt a "needy" family at Christmas and buy a few gifts for the kids and buy a few bags of groceries, etc. I think an activity where you can help others would alleviate some of the gloom that the holidays can sometimes bring.

Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, but Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.
- Author Unknown

Lipstickdiva · ‎03-10-2010

The OP has said she doesn't want to be invited. That aside, good friend or not I cannot imagine inviting myself to someone's home for a family holiday gathering, as some of you had suggested. But then, I'd personally rather be home alone then spend a holiday with people I don't really know.

Personally I think the OP is being too sensitive. If that other woman is a friend, the OP should be happy for her. I love hearing about my friends' good fortune and successes. As a friend, I would want her to share her holiday memories with me.

If it's really that bad, tell your friend how you feel about her sharing her stories with you. If she's really your friend, she will understand.

FrostyBabe1 · ‎05-09-2016

Yes, I do believe you're being too sensitive. My Dad died in 2005 as well, and Mom passed away less than 2 years later. I have a sister that lives in town, but we're not particularly close. If I were still moping about and not enjoying life to it's fullest 10+ years after their deaths, they'd be the first to reach out from the great beyond and smack me! I thoroughly enjoy the holidays on my terms, which is very low keyed and laid back. How other people enjoy them is up to them. I don't let anyone else's plans or descriptions of their celebrations affect me in the least. That's their holiday, not mine. Make an effort and you will find joy in many places that you never thought of.

~The more someone needs to brag about how wonderful, special, successful, wealthy or important they are, the greater the likelihood that it isn't true. ~

YorkieonmyPillow · ‎01-13-2013

@Lipstickdiva wrote:
The OP has said she doesn't want to be invited. That aside, good friend or not I cannot imagine inviting myself to someone's home for a family holiday gathering, as some of you had suggested. But then, I'd personally rather be home alone then spend a holiday with people I don't really know.

Personally I think the OP is being too sensitive. If that other woman is a friend, the OP should be happy for her. I love hearing about my friends' good fortune and successes. As a friend, I would want her to share her holiday memories with me.

If it's really that bad, tell your friend how you feel about her sharing her stories with you. If she's really your friend, she will understand.

I don't think the OP is being too sensitive. Of course you want your friends to be happy, but does that require sitting and listening to their tales of happy families when she has none?

Ridiculous. Her friend's happiness doesn't rest on the fact of her listening.

With a friend like this, who needs enemies.

ScarletDove · ‎07-11-2010

Well, you can either ruminate on it or let it go.....your choice!

YorkieonmyPillow · ‎01-13-2013

Oh, and that "you should want your friend to be happy" ought to work BOTH ways......

TX YellowRose · ‎03-12-2018

@ellaphant What is important here are your feelings. On some level she is rubbing you the wrong way. I can certainly understand that from what you said.

No need to ditch a long time friendship. But, you may be outgrowing her and your reaction might just be the nudge you need to grow new interests, or new friendships aside from her friendship......

I bet there is something wonderful about to happen to you around the corner if you take a leap of faith into a new venture and then you can listen to her ramblings and bragging next year and it won't penetrate or bother you a bit.

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

@ScarletDove wrote:
Well, you can either ruminate on it or let it go.....your choice!

There's a third choice. She can speak to this friend - someone she has known for a very long time - and explain how she feels. That's the only option that makes sense to me. Friends should be honest with each other.

ScarletDove · ‎07-11-2010

@NYC Susan wrote:
@ScarletDove wrote:
Well, you can either ruminate on it or let it go.....your choice!

There's a third choice. She can speak to this friend - someone she has known for a very long time - and explain how she feels. That's the only option that makes sense to me. Friends should be honest with each other.

@NYC Susan Yes indeed, friends should be able to be honest with each other, it just requires that each person is truly a caring friend, I have found out over the years who is a friend and who is a "fair-weather" friend.... We all see things differently based on our life experiences, but of course she can tell her friend about her feelings.