Am I being too sensitive? - Page 6

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

@occasionalrain wrote:
Putting a friend on the spot, inviting oneself is impolite and an excellent way to lose a friend.
Why would anyone want to be where they weren't wanted. For that matter, I can't imagine anyone wanting a pity invitation.

@occasionalrain I agree. And this reply is to your chain of thought, not to you, occasional rain in particular, ok?

I can't think of a worse idea than inviting yourself. Except talking to her about it. Maybe I am way off base here, but I can't think of why I would want to be included in any of my friend's family celebrations unless I had grown up with them, was thought of as a member of the family, and they wouldn't have it any way but that I come.

Friendship is wonderful, sometimes closer than family, and a cherished part of my life. But when family gets together, we talk about things the friend wouldn't remember, things the friend doesn't know, people she wouldn't know, and private jokes among us.

Maybe if it were a formal type meal where family treated one another like strangers or casual friends it would be different. But how my family laughs and hoots and talks, no, a friend would feel left out.

If you tell her you don't like hearing about not being invited to family holidays, she may think you are presumptious or jealous of her family relationship. I'd be careful with that.

RedTop · ‎09-01-2010

I do not find the situation insensitive, nor think your friend is rude; your friend is simply living a normal life and sharing her happiness.

I totally agree losing our closest loved ones changes many things about our lives, and indeed brings a sadness to holidays. I just think at some point we must find a way to move forward, live the life we were given, and find new joy and peace in the reason for the season, instead of trying to pull the covers over our heads and hoping it’s over soon.

I would urge you to push harder to find your holiday joy again.

cherry · ‎03-09-2010

Feelings are so complicated. One is unhappy, and the other seems oblivious about it, banging on ,about her life, being so full

I just think that these 2 are oil and water. No one is a villain, or having a pity party, they just are not sympatico..Perhaps you should avoid her, around the holidays ,and find more people to interact with

Gayle2 · ‎07-12-2011

I think that I would just explain to the friend (if you haven't already) that conversations re: Christmas are not something you want to engage in. If you have been friends for awhile she shouldn't mind that boundary.

jubilant · ‎06-10-2010

I think maybe you are being a little too sensitive though I can understand why you might feel this way. I tend to go by what a persons "intentions" are. If you know her well enough to know that she, in general, normally has good will towards you, than I would venture a guess her intentions weren't to do you any harm. Perhaps it's the highlight of her life and she thinks you'd like to hear about it. Sometimes we hurt each other unknowingly. We have probably all done it a time or two not even knowing it.

lovescats · ‎03-10-2010

Have you thought about trying to help out for a Thanksgiving dinner near you for the homeless and sort of ease back into the holidays? I notice around when I live some of the churches and organizations even have them the day before thanksgiving so people can still be with their families on the day. Maybe let your friend know and see if she wants to do it with you. I may be over reaching but I think you might like to be included and don't know where to start.

AuntG · ‎03-09-2010

She does seem over the top with her detailed descriptions of the fun. I guess I would tolerate it. One thing I read from some posters is that the holidays are for family. I don't see why she couldn't include you at the dinner table, because friends matter too.

GenXmuse · ‎05-15-2016

My friends have a lot of blessings that I don’t and even though it’s a sacrifice at times, I want them to be happy and not feel like they can’t share an important moment in their lives.

lovesrecess · ‎03-14-2010

I am sure you would never invite yourself to your friend’s holiday celebrations, but if she is that clueless to not know that what she is doing is rude, perhaps you should just tell her that you would rather not hear the details of her time with her family during the holidays. If that doesn’t wake her up, nothing will. It might be good to find a place where others would appreciate and enjoy your company during the holidays...perhaps sharing a meal or helping others who are less fortunate. It would be a blessing to you as well as others.