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Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,539
Registered: ‎12-13-2010

Am I being too sensitive?

[ Edited ]

My father died in 2005. My mother passed many years before that. My sister has not been in touch with our family for many, many years. Since I have no other family, I no longer really enjoy the holidays. I have told my oldest friend this on several ocassions. She has a large extended family and the day after Thanksgiving and Christmas she tells me all about the great food she had, who was there, and after Christmas she goes through all the presents she received. I find this very insensitive - and rude. I can tell you if the situation was reversed I would not do this.  However, I am wondering am I  over reacting?? 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 20,667
Registered: ‎08-19-2010

Re: Am I being too sensitive?

she tell you about the back biting, in fighting, snarks at the table.

In-laws you can't stand. Always a flip side.

 

Your luckier then you think. 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,037
Registered: ‎02-07-2011

Re: Am I being too sensitive?

Maybe by telling you about her holidays, it's her way of including you in the festivities since she knows you're alone.  Have you told her it makes you uncomfortable?  

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,832
Registered: ‎06-06-2011

Re: Am I being too sensitive?

@Onefineday  Do you live nearby? If so, she should be inviting you to her family affairs, IMO. No, I do not think you are being too sensitive. It would bother me as well.

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea-Robert A. Heinlein
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,351
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

Re: Am I being too sensitive?

I really feel she is  being insensitive however IT IS ON HER, NOT YOU.  Best bet go out and find someone to help, to give comfort to.  Reach out. 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,463
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

Re: Am I being too sensitive?


@Onefineday wrote:

My father died in 2005. My mother passed many years before that. My sister has not been in touch with our family for many, many years. Since I have no other family, I no longer really enjoy the holidays. I have told my oldest friend this on several ocassions. She has a large extended family and the day after Thanksgiving and Christmas she tells me all about the great food she had, who was there, and after Christmas she goes through all the presents she received. I find this very insensitive - and rude. I can tell you if the situation was reversed I would not do this.  However, I am wondering am I  over reacting?? 


your friend should dial it back a bit,  and perhaps a bit of Christmas spirit and invite you,  and perhaps you should not let it bother you that much 

 

 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,918
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Am I being too sensitive?

@Onefineday@If you find this hurtful or upsetting then you should tell her.Maybe even ask her to include you in dinner or some part of the festivities if you are feeling lonely.She isn’t thinking clearly about your feelings but if you let her know and she doesn’t try to be more inclusive then she isn’t the friend that you were hoping for.

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,023
Registered: ‎06-11-2011

Re: Am I being too sensitive?

Do you live nearby? If so, she should be inviting you to her family affairs, IMO. No, I do not think you are being too sensitive. It would bother me as well.

 

**

 

I was thinking the same

 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,204
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Am I being too sensitive?

[ Edited ]

@Onefineday


@Onefineday wrote:

My father died in 2005. My mother passed many years before that. My sister has not been in touch with our family for many, many years. Since I have no other family, I no longer really enjoy the holidays. I have told my oldest friend this on several ocassions. She has a large extended family and the day after Thanksgiving and Christmas she tells me all about the great food she had, who was there, and after Christmas she goes through all the presents she received. I find this very insensitive - and rude. I can tell you if the situation was reversed I would not do this.  However, I am wondering am I  over reacting?? 


I have exactly the

same friend.  Other friends say she is not yourfriend. In 59 years, I have eaten at her house once.  She has been to my house for lunch and dinner many times.  Her husband died one week before Christmas and I was there with food the whole week and a shoulder to cry on but that's me. Cannot throw away 5 9 years.  Have not been there for two days, but she has family.  I do not think you are over reacting. Some people are like that.  It does make you wonder.  Except for her family, I am her only friend.

 

 I asked for it.  When she got breast cancer, I cooked her favorite meal,eggplant paramagion(sp)?  If was a lot of work, but a lot of love went into it.  I cooked it the Italian way.  We are both Italian.  She has the nerve to tell me she liked The Olive Garden one better.  I even brought the veggies from WHOLE FOODS.  Should have learned my lesson then.  Some people don,t know what a good friend is about. 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,813
Registered: ‎03-19-2010

Re: Am I being too sensitive?

If she has done this for years, I would avoid any contact with her after the holidays going forward.  BUT the best thing I think I would have to do is to tell her how painful it is for you to hear all about her "wonderful" holiday parties.

 

As others have said, why doesn't she include you in these get-togethers if she is your BFF?