Community Chat

[drizzellla]

About 15 years ago my brother's marriage went south. So he would bring his daughter and stay at my house for a week or more at a time. At the time his daughter had graduated from high school. She did not want to go to college. And she did not want to work either. So she would work one day a week at Burger King to earn enough money to pay for her phone. 

My brother walked away from the 25 year marriage with only his truck. He let his ex have all the assets they bought during the marriage (house, 2 additional vehicles, etc.). He decided to change his line of work and become a long distance truck driver. That way he could live in his truck and earn money at the same time.

He is getting older and worried about all the Department of Vehicle tests he has to take and also company physicals that he has pass. But he figures he will just change his course and retire if he does not pass.

What worries me is now he calls often. I am thinking that he wants to stay at my house after he retires. Since he has only lived in his truck he does not have an apartment or house. And it will be sudden that he will no longer has a truck to live in, if he fails any tests. He is already storing stuff at our house.

He stays at our house for every holiday. And it is nice when he leaves to be able to get back into our routine again. He is used to his own way.He has always used our house as a "base" and I can't help but think he plans on moving in. Oh, and all the weeks he has lived in our house he has taken us out to dinner - once!. I can not tell you how many times we have taken him out to dinner - probably 50.

The spare bedroom is full of clutter. What else can I do to make him not want to move in?

[Travone]

Just say no.  No one can take advantage of you unless you let them.  His daughter must be an adult by now....have him move in with her.  If he's been living in the truck for years he must have enough saved for an apartment or small house.  If you don't stand up for yourself no one else will.

[mom2four0418]

Just tell him that there is "no room at the inn."

[millieshops]

Give him a time limit to find his own quarters??  

[QVCkitty1]

I would ask him if he has a plan in case he has to retire. Then be kind but clear that he can’t live with you. I know it’s hard , but the alternative is having a permanent houseguest. I doubt he will take a hint, so you have to be very clear . Will your DH back you up ?

[Scooby Doo]

Say...  after you get settled in your own place we'd like to invite you over for dinner once in a while.

[Peaches McPhee]

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The spare bedroom is full of clutter. What else can I do to make him not want to move in?

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Just tell him.  Don't hint around with cluttered bedrooms.  Best he know now, so he can make other arrangements.

Assuming you can just move into someone else's home is pretty pushy.  Just because he is pushy does not mean you have to be a pushover.

[kaydee50]

Where's the daughter?  She must be in her 30s by now???  I agree with the other posters--just say "no" and stick to your guns.  He made his decisions, now he has to live with them.

[Sweet_Serenity]

@drizzellla

Believe in pray will pray for your guidance. In the meantime unless he comes out and asks you specifically that he wants to move in wouldn't dwell on it. Realize that this is easier said than done especially when speaking about family. 

He should look into section 8 housing there for people in need. Many other benefits such as fuel assistance, each county has its own department. 

You sound like a compassionate person. Promise, Theres a solution.

[FrostyBabe1]

Just tell him no, he can't move in with you. Don't make excuses or say you're sorry and don't let yourself be made to feel guilty. Tell him he should start preparing now for when the day comes that he needs another place to live.