Community Chat

[Noel7]

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@hckynutjohn wrote:

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@DoneTryin wrote:

Ever deal with someone who's always late and/or incorrect about getting something done at work, then they're always apologizing?  It's as if they think if they apologize, their track history of being late/incorrect will be forgiven.  Arrrrgggghhhhh!

formerly VCamp2748

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@DoneTryin

Yep, I've dealt with them, but the ones that were late twice? If they were friend or family and they gave me a "will meet you there at 7"? I gave 'em 5 minutes and then I left. One friend got left behind on many of my auto racing trips. He would end up driving his own car, sometimes several hundred miles, by himself. He never did change nor have I.

At work? Much more blunt with, "save your line of s**t, don't wanna here it". My adult hockey league? Late too many times? They are now a former player. They knew my rule on being on time.

When there were people I had to deal with and they started the apology bs? I'd look them square in the eyes, say nothing and turn around and walk away. Bosses/co-workers/friends or family, I did/do things exactly the same.

They don't respect my time? I owe them nothing, not even my ear.  NO  Arrrrgggghhhh for me.

hckynut(john)

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@hckynutjohn

John, for many people, it has nothing to do with respecting your time.

I posted a couple of articles earlier on this line, explaining that for many, it's a neurological issue.

[terriebear]

@DoneTryin  I taught jr. and sr. high school for 17 years, elementery, for only one, but I would bring the student in and ask what would it take for them to get to class on time.  Do you know anything about the home situation?  Is the student on an IEP?  Are they a Title I student? Is is a two parent household?  Are they in charge of getting younger siblings to school that is making them late? Sometimes just knowing that you care and really value you them as extra special and that you really, really are there for them, can make the difference for them to show up to your class on time. I would also take a look in their cumulative file to see if anything jumps out at you, i.e., cps visits or anythings like that.  Is there a mentor that you can assign to help the student with work assignments, so that they are working up to their potential?  Are there upper classmen who need to get volunteer hours in for college applications that would help with homework for this student?  Does your school/library have a homework center? Are you available to check work halfway through to see if they are on the right track?  Does this student need testing for a possible IEP/adhd testing?  Should they meet with the school counselor to find out what is going on?  These are just some of my thoughts....sorry it is so long.

[Moonchilde]

I have known multiple people who do this. Out of all of them, one had ADD, and knew it. The others simply wanted the importance of everyone having to wait on them and be the center of attention, or just didn't care. For them it had nothing to do with ADD, it was narcissism or laziness.

[hckynutjohn]

@Noel7

Hi to you. If they have Neurological or Psychological issues? I will leave it up to them to get whatever professional help they need. We all have issues, be they physical or mental. I don't expect friend/family or co-worker to have to deal with any of mine.

Set in my ways? That would be putting it very mildly. I like people, including helping people. But? If they ain't willing to help themselves, or at least try or look for professional help?

Sorry, for me it is a, Nope.

hckynut(john)

[Lady Elaine]

If someone keeps doing thensamr thing over and over, how sorry can they be?  They may never learn if there aren't consequences.  

[Jacie]

For years I worked in a large company of 350,000 as an HR professional. I hired from entry level on up to VP. There were people at all levels that had problems getting to work, and/or not getting things done on time.

In over 30 years in HR, I only saw one individual that had true ADD. After going through the proper legal procedures three times, he was finally terminated. His behavior had been accommodated as much as it could be and he simply couldn't get himself to work when he was supposed to be there. His absence affected everyone who worked with him. We took longer than normal to terminate because we:

a. wanted him to succeed and felt he should have additional time to get it together, and

b. had to have all our documentation absolutely perfect in case of termination and possible litigation. (of which there was none)

Workplace absence greatly affects a company's bottom line.

By the way, in all those years I have heard  "my dog ate the car keys" eleven times! Interestingly enough, never once did I hear that those dogs were rushed to a vet. Had they had a note from the vet, no problem!

[Noel7]

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@Lady Elaine wrote:

If someone keeps doing thensamr thing over and over, how sorry can they be?  They may never learn if there aren't consequences.  

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@Lady Elaine

They may never learn because they have a neurological problem.

[Noel7]

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@hckynutjohn wrote:

@Noel7

Hi to you. If they have Neurological or Psychological issues? I will leave it up to them to get whatever professional help they need. We all have issues, be they physical or mental. I don't expect friend/family or co-worker to have to deal with any of mine.

Set in my ways? That would be putting it very mildly. I like people, including helping people. But? If they ain't willing to help themselves, or at least try or look for professional help?

Sorry, for me it is a, Nope.

hckynut(john)

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@hckynutjohn

Uh, John... I never said you were set in your ways.

Most people with ADD don't have any idea they have a neurological problem or probably many would get help.

But yes, you and I both expect family members to deal with our issues, that's how marriage works.  It's also why we get medical time off from work, so the employer IS dealing with our issues.

How can they know how to help themselves when most have no idea what is going on? 

[Jacie]

Most workplaces have become, mostly due to litigation and the law, very advanced in their accommodations to individuals with all kinds of disability or other issues.

It has been my experience in the workplace, where the majority are not children, that the afflicted are more than fully aware of their circumstance and in some cases blatantly flaunt it. Especially so if being pinched in a situation where they are being called out on a behavior.

[Noel7]

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@Jacie wrote:

Most workplaces have become, mostly due to litigation and the law, very advanced in their accommodations to individuals with all kinds of disability or other issues.

It has been my experience in the workplace, where the majority are not children, that the afflicted are more than fully aware of their circumstance and in some cases blatantly flaunt it. Especially so if being pinched in a situation where they are being called out on a behavior.

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@Jacie

I don't really know what you're referring to specifically.

Are you saying people with disabilities "flaunt it"?