Community Chat

[Mmsfoxxie]

Gropers and men who said inappropriate things to women can change.  Men who like to act inappropriately and beyond with youngs kids, imo, can't change.  This is who they are. They might surpress it for a while but it will always be a struggle.  I know from experience.

[OfCourse]

I believe that people who chose not to speak up at the time should keep quiet.  That's because there's no way to fairly evaluate their allegations after decades.  I've felt this way for a long time regardless of whether I support or dislike whomever they're accusing.  It seems to me that Gretchen Carlson started all this, and good for her.  I believed her and sent her a message of support.  However, it seems to me that women from Juanita Broaddrick to Bette Midler who speak of events decades old are simply speaking up too late.  The positive effect of all this is that serious abuse has been highlighted and is less likely to occur in the future.  On the other hand, some complaints (such as "forcible kissing") are far more trivial.  While not right, I do not consider these lesser offenses worthy of firings or resignations.

[lovescats]

no I don't find it troubling in bringing up allegations from years past.   And who wants to be forcefully kissed by some creep?

[chickenbutt]

I think the first time I ever talked about things happening to me was quite some time after they happened.     There are so many reasons for this and each situation has its own scenario determining the factors that make it somewhere between difficult and impossible to report things.

I feel like people who have never had to deal with any of this, and probably not just the flirty or semi-innocent touching stuff, but the full-on sexual assault stuff,  have no idea what it's like to be on the other end of it.

I hope you never have to be, either.  It's no place to be.

[Drythe]

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@chickenbutt wrote:

I think the first time I ever talked about things happening to me was quite some time after they happened.     There are so many reasons for this and each situation has its own scenario determining the factors that make it somewhere between difficult and impossible to report things.

I feel like people who have never had to deal with any of this, and probably not just the flirty or semi-innocent touching stuff, but the full-on sexual assault stuff,  have no idea what it's like to be on the other end of it.

I hope you never have to be, either.  It's no place to be.

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@chickenbutt  

@goldensrbest

There IS no expiration date on the pain, suffering, and scars caused.

So, to me time does not lessen the guilt.

[dex]

@suzyQ3 In the past we excused many behaviors that are unacceptable now.I know that my mom could not afford babysitters for us so as soon as we went to school we were on our own.the neighbors all knew this and kept a watch on us but they didn't offer to actually care for us.That would be criminal today but I don't think my mom should pay the price for it now.Its the old saying that as we know better we do better.The past is where we evolved from and our society rules and circumstances change as we have more knowledge and understanding.

I can see that you are very passionate about this and I commend you for standing strong on women's rights.I am there with you but I am also a little sympathetic of the different rules for different times.I think going forward that there will be some strict guidelines that will leave no room for excuses and everyone will have more respect for the feelings of each other on this matter.

[Mmsfoxxie]

@chickenbutt, you are correct.  As usual, it is always easy to say what you what do in a situation if you have not lived it.  I am 70 years old and the first time I mentioned my sexual assault was on here about 3 years ago.  The first time that I shared it face to face with someone was in 2015.  I just told my husband about 3 years ago. (I had planned to tell him after this person died).  It's getting easier and easier.

This happened from the age of 9 to 13 years old by a family member who told me that to tell would break up the family and that no one will believe me anyway.  Now being older, I feel guilty that I didn't tell because it turned out that that enabled that person to do that to at least one more family member.  Maybe more.

Any time that you are comfortable or brave enough to tell, is the right time.  My only issue with the 'me, too' thing is that people are bringing up stuff that is very minor.  A man hugging a woman too long or kissing her without permission is not enough to get on tv about and cry.  And ruin his career.  Reprimand of some kind yes, but rape and child molestation is a whole new category.

[equss]

When the victims of the inappropriate behaviors  are minors it is beyond inexcusable no matter when it occurred. 

[goldensrbest]

Lets hope that all this behavior coming into the light,will mean this won't be as much in what women face.

[dex]

@Mmsfoxxie It wasn't your fault that the disgusting behavior continued and so you don't have to feel any blame.Others who were adult at the time should have intervened. That would have been dealt with by the police.