On 4/1/2015 SusieQ_2 said: SuiGeneris, I know I will probably be taking all kinds of flak for this, but that's okay, we all have our own opinion. So since you asked...
I would say I totally applaud the mother for making her girls be accountable for their behavior. Making them do something as proactive as writing an apology note and donating from their allowance really gives them a chance to not only think about what they did wrong, but to have to give up something that they value. Those are good lessons.
My concern is that, as parents, we are always concerned with our kids putting too much information on social media. However, what do we expect when this is their example? I remember back when my daughter would misbehave in public, I would remove her from the situation before disciplining her. The object was not to humiliate her, but to teach her right from wrong.
In this case, I don't think I would have handled it as this mother did. I understand the mother wanted to reach out to the other woman, but I don’t think it would have been life changing had the woman not been contacted. We’re all aware that teenagers can misbehave when out alone, and the woman spoke to them at the theater to make her feelings known.
It’s easy to say actions have consequences, and that’s true, but the consequences should be equal to the offense. I just don’t think sharing a thirteen year old’s indiscretion with hundreds of thousands of people is appropriate. When did the object become mortification and humiliation? Those were the words used by the mother, and I agree. I know I would have been mortified if my mother shared my teenage indiscretions with hundreds of thousands of people, and I’m none the worse because she didn't. Maybe these girls will be none the worse as well. I don’t know.
Again, it’s just my opinion and I know many will disagree. Luckily, as parents, we are free to decide what is best for our own children. Maybe this mother felt she did her best but it’s not something I would do.
Susie_Q2,
Interesting take on the situation. That's why I asked you if your ambivalent feelings about the story were because it had become "too much" because of public shaming, since the story has now become viral.
Unfortunately [or fortunately, depending on one's viewpoint], that was due to the fact that the sheriff's office made the decision to share it on the Jefferson County [Alabama] Sheriff Facebook page. If the apology had been limited to the mother's Facebook page, it probably would not have ever been seen by the "mystery" woman, but it would have served the purpose of the girls being shamed by a much smaller sphere of influence, limited to the friends and relatives of the girls. Perhaps that was the mother's original intent? We'll never know, since the entire world now has access to the story. [The story is online on CNN, all the major networks and other news venues.]
While the story was of interest to me because we hear too much of all the [unpunished] bad behavior of teens these days, I'm not sure how I feel about the world-wide coverage. It seems to have been offered as a sort of morality tale by the news sources: "It's not wrong until you get caught."
Thanks for your thoughts, Susie_Q2. I appreciate your input.
♥ Be yourself; everyone else is already taken. -- Oscar Wilde ♥
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