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Respected Contributor
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Registered: ‎03-20-2010

Re: Advice please for young adult daughter finding online love in another country

Beginning to think people are watching to much TV......

Don't be so afraid of dying that you forget how to live.
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Re: Advice please for young adult daughter finding online love in another country

[ Edited ]

@CrazyDaisy 

I know.

Man....people watch WAAAAAY too many movies and

watch WAAAAAAY too much TV.

People like to create drama when there's drama there.

It's like they qualify their life as a Lifetime Movie of the Week. 
Feel like there needs to be dramatic orchestra music after ever post.

DaDaDummmm.

 

Like I mentioned before..just let her be, oh I dunno, happy.

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Re: Advice please for young adult daughter finding online love in another country

Sometimes, you just have to "let go" and let her make her own decision (and mistakes). You sound like a loving, caring, responsible parent--so I bet you raised her well. There's nothing inherently wrong with her forming a relationship with someone from another country. She does need to exercise caution --as she would need to do with ANY young guy (in the U.S. or elsewhere).

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Re: Advice please for young adult daughter finding online love in another country

[ Edited ]

Meeting and becoming friends on a gaming community isn't a red flag necessarily.   I have met some very dear friends that way.   however, you said she started talking with him when she was 13 or 14 but you haven't said how old he is.   If he was 19-20 or older when they met that crosses over into creepy territory.   Do they Skype?   Have you ever spoken to him?  If they haven't spoken other than via chatting on a game site that's a red flag to me.   If he's from Sweden he can just as easily visit the US. 

 

I also second having her binge on 90 Day Fiance!  Is your daughter in college?   If she is in school,  TLC is currently looking for college kids involved in international relationships and would happily tag along with a crew! 

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Re: Advice please for young adult daughter finding online love in another country

I would invite this young man to  your home for a visit. Your daughter has no idea about this guy. He could be a young person. It is not safe for a young woman, from any town America, to travel to a foreign country alone .

I would make a big deal of him coming to visit your daughter. 

You may want to meet his family on Skype

If later she wants to visit her guy, you and your husband should go too . A vacation. 

 

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Re: Advice please for young adult daughter finding online love in another country

Maybe he's really a Prince.

 

And then she can become a Princess.

 

Just think of the possibilities (Hallmark Movie.)

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Re: Advice please for young adult daughter finding online love in another country

@JohnnyEager, I do not see this having a "happily ever after" ending. 

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Re: Advice please for young adult daughter finding online love in another country

I think it's normal for the OP to be concerned. You can't just shut that off because your child is an adult. I am not saying she should "forbid" her, since she is an adult, but I would definitely let her know my concerns and ask that she either take someone or have a game plan should something go wrong like letting me know exactly where she is at all times or checking in at certain intervals. If he were a decent guy, he would totally understand. I don't advocate that kind of helicoptering/smothering in all situations, but in this situation I do.

 

Knowing someone online doesn't mean you know them at all, so I think the 7 years doesn't mean that much. Online you can be anything you want to be. There is no substitute for face-to-face interaction.

If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor. ~ Desmond Tutu
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Re: Advice please for young adult daughter finding online love in another country


@SugarPuff wrote:

Meeting and becoming friends on a gaming community isn't a red flag necessarily.   I have met some very dear friends that way.   however, you said she started talking with him when she was 13 or 14 but you haven't said how old he is.   If he was 19-20 or older when they met that crosses over into creepy territory.   Do they Skype?   Have you ever spoken to him?  If they haven't spoken other than via chatting on a game site that's a red flag to me.   If he's from Sweden he can just as easily visit the US. 

 

I also second having her binge on 90 Day Fiance!  Is your daughter in college?   If she is in school,  TLC is currently looking for college kids involved in international relationships and would happily tag along with a crew! 


 

 

 

not necessarily......i stated in another post that he could be living in sweden and not a swedish citizen. he could be a citizen of another country. the OP did not say.  dont forget that the USA is making it more difficult for people to come here even on visitor visas.

**************************************************
"Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier." - Colin Powell
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Registered: ‎10-26-2010

Re: Advice please for young adult daughter finding online love in another country

[ Edited ]

 

I would talk her out of it. I wouldn't even consider going together -- you both might not return.