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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,892
Registered: ‎03-20-2010

Re: Advice please for young adult daughter finding online love in another country

Beginning to think people are watching to much TV......

Someday, when scientists discover the center of the Universe....some people will be disappointed it is not them.
Honored Contributor
Posts: 18,415
Registered: ‎11-25-2011

Re: Advice please for young adult daughter finding online love in another country

[ Edited ]

@CrazyDaisy 

I know.

Man....people watch WAAAAAY too many movies and

watch WAAAAAAY too much TV.

People like to create drama when there's drama there.

It's like they qualify their life as a Lifetime Movie of the Week. 
Feel like there needs to be dramatic orchestra music after ever post.

DaDaDummmm.

 

Like I mentioned before..just let her be, oh I dunno, happy.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,408
Registered: ‎01-27-2014

Re: Advice please for young adult daughter finding online love in another country

Sometimes, you just have to "let go" and let her make her own decision (and mistakes). You sound like a loving, caring, responsible parent--so I bet you raised her well. There's nothing inherently wrong with her forming a relationship with someone from another country. She does need to exercise caution --as she would need to do with ANY young guy (in the U.S. or elsewhere).

Super Contributor
Posts: 255
Registered: ‎09-20-2017

Re: Advice please for young adult daughter finding online love in another country

[ Edited ]

Meeting and becoming friends on a gaming community isn't a red flag necessarily.   I have met some very dear friends that way.   however, you said she started talking with him when she was 13 or 14 but you haven't said how old he is.   If he was 19-20 or older when they met that crosses over into creepy territory.   Do they Skype?   Have you ever spoken to him?  If they haven't spoken other than via chatting on a game site that's a red flag to me.   If he's from Sweden he can just as easily visit the US. 

 

I also second having her binge on 90 Day Fiance!  Is your daughter in college?   If she is in school,  TLC is currently looking for college kids involved in international relationships and would happily tag along with a crew! 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,419
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Advice please for young adult daughter finding online love in another country

I would invite this young man to  your home for a visit. Your daughter has no idea about this guy. He could be a young person. It is not safe for a young woman, from any town America, to travel to a foreign country alone .

I would make a big deal of him coming to visit your daughter. 

You may want to meet his family on Skype

If later she wants to visit her guy, you and your husband should go too . A vacation. 

 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,097
Registered: ‎09-05-2014

Re: Advice please for young adult daughter finding online love in another country

Maybe he's really a Prince.

 

And then she can become a Princess.

 

Just think of the possibilities (Hallmark Movie.)

Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,721
Registered: ‎10-01-2013

Re: Advice please for young adult daughter finding online love in another country

@Johnnyeager, I do not see this having a "happily ever after" ending. 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,650
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Advice please for young adult daughter finding online love in another country

I think it's normal for the OP to be concerned. You can't just shut that off because your child is an adult. I am not saying she should "forbid" her, since she is an adult, but I would definitely let her know my concerns and ask that she either take someone or have a game plan should something go wrong like letting me know exactly where she is at all times or checking in at certain intervals. If he were a decent guy, he would totally understand. I don't advocate that kind of helicoptering/smothering in all situations, but in this situation I do.

 

Knowing someone online doesn't mean you know them at all, so I think the 7 years doesn't mean that much. Online you can be anything you want to be. There is no substitute for face-to-face interaction.

If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor. ~ Desmond Tutu
Honored Contributor
Posts: 41,253
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Advice please for young adult daughter finding online love in another country


@SugarPuff wrote:

Meeting and becoming friends on a gaming community isn't a red flag necessarily.   I have met some very dear friends that way.   however, you said she started talking with him when she was 13 or 14 but you haven't said how old he is.   If he was 19-20 or older when they met that crosses over into creepy territory.   Do they Skype?   Have you ever spoken to him?  If they haven't spoken other than via chatting on a game site that's a red flag to me.   If he's from Sweden he can just as easily visit the US. 

 

I also second having her binge on 90 Day Fiance!  Is your daughter in college?   If she is in school,  TLC is currently looking for college kids involved in international relationships and would happily tag along with a crew! 


 

 

 

not necessarily......i stated in another post that he could be living in sweden and not a swedish citizen. he could be a citizen of another country. the OP did not say.  dont forget that the USA is making it more difficult for people to come here even on visitor visas.

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"The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing." - Albert Einstein
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,175
Registered: ‎10-26-2010

Re: Advice please for young adult daughter finding online love in another country

[ Edited ]

 

I would talk her out of it. I wouldn't even consider going together -- you both might not return.