Advice on a marriage....agree or disagree - Page 7

italia8140 · ‎10-24-2015

Women should have their own money and their own bank accounts. I think it's a good idea for the husband and wife to have their own bathrooms. I can't imagine being with a man who can't/won't clean his own bathroom. Sounds like someone who is lazy and expects his wife to clean up after him.

151949 · ‎03-09-2010

@MyGirlsMom wrote:
@151949 wrote:
I think if a woman is a house wife and has no income of her own she would be pretty darn rude to be hiding the money her husband earned and shared with her to make herself a nest egg. A woman who has her own job and income - probably does not put the total amount into the common fund and so can have a nest egg of her own if it makes her happy.
***

Okay, now we will have to disagree. If a husband and wife mutually agree that either of them stays home while the other works - there is no such thing as his or her money. What's earned by the one spouse is mutually shared by both.
.Stay at home spouse's DO work. If he or she wants to save money on the side, so what?

I worked throughout my adult life and now have my income from pension and SS - if I was giving DH money to pay the bills and I found out he was stashing it away to make himself a nestegg I would be mightily upset. When you give someone money to pay the bills - it is to pay the bills - if there is any left over it isn't just a free gift. Either it stays in the joint fund for future needs or it gets given back! My DH would never keep money I gave him if it wasn't needed. He would ask me if I need it back and when I said no he would put it in our joint savings. What kind of person would steal(and yes, that is what it would be) money from their spouse? Now if you are telling him there was some extra left from the grocery money so you have started yourself a little savings acct - that is a different story.

MyGirlsMom · ‎03-09-2010

Setting aside money from a mutually held account is not stealing. Housewives have been doing it for centuries. How else could they afford the little surprises they made or gave to their families.

I know a fellow at Cornell University whose wife saved money he 'd given her and the money she saved from her job for a trip to Israel. Many people today and on this very board benefited from money put aside from bill money.

Keep Your Face To The Sunshine and You Will Not See The Shadow

HappyDaze · ‎06-13-2012

@Hoovermom wrote:
No, I do not agree. DH and I will be celebrating 40 years of marriage this Christmas. We have always had a joint savings/checking accounts and never any problems with it. He has never questioned what purchases I have made nor me him. Of course, I have never gone out and emptied our accounts but was free to spend. I respect him and would never want to do anything to undermine our relationship. We share our lives with each other and trust each other implicitly. I have always said that he was the nicest man I knew, and I still mean it. He completes me.......................

I second this completely. I would never keep anything from my husband and we've always had a joint savings/checking account and we wouldn't have it any other way. He is my best friend and I am very lucky to have found him.

151949 · ‎03-09-2010

@MyGirlsMom wrote:
Setting aside money from a mutually held account is not stealing. Housewives have been doing it for centuries. How else could they afford the little surprises they made or gave to their families.

I know a fellow at Cornell University whose wife saved money he 'd given her and the money she saved from her job for a trip to Israel. Many people today and on this very board benefited from money put aside from bill money.

Your right - we have to agree to disagree on this one. You manage your marriage your way and I'll do the same.

MyGirlsMom · ‎03-09-2010

@151949 wrote:
@MyGirlsMom wrote:
Setting aside money from a mutually held account is not stealing. Housewives have been doing it for centuries. How else could they afford the little surprises they made or gave to their families.

I know a fellow at Cornell University whose wife saved money he 'd given her and the money she saved from her job for a trip to Israel. Many people today and on this very board benefited from money put aside from bill money.

Your right - we have to agree to disagree on this one. You manage your marriage your way and I'll do the same.

***

Yes, we will have to agree to disagree

and

I don't manage my marriage, my husband and I work TOGETHER to have a lasting relationship.

..separate accounts, closets, bathrooms and cars.

Good night

Keep Your Face To The Sunshine and You Will Not See The Shadow

bonnielu · ‎03-11-2010

My husband is my best friend. We share everything and are honest with each other. We are exact opposites. I am a free spirit, he is organized. I guess a Left Brain and Right Brain couple. He is quiet and reserved and I am outgoing. We have raised four beautiful daughters. We enjoy dancing together and have mutual respect for each other. He is the love of my life. We will celebrate our 50th in June.

FUTURE · ‎04-11-2010

Joint account, I manage the finances. No lying or witholdimg information. It works for us!!

lianne · ‎03-09-2010

Whatever works for each couple is fine, there really is no right or wrong. These answers are mostly from people who got married over 30 years ago, today's answers would be very different. I wouldn't ever consider not having my own savings and IRA's and investments.

Women today day arent dependent financially on men the way most were in the 50's, and most manage their own money. Today it's more of a joint decision between the couple and few women have to hide money, they earn their own.