Advice on a marriage....agree or disagree - Page 5

staciesmom · ‎04-13-2010

I agree on OP's advice! I would also add, (due to personal experience) to never mistake possesiveness and jealously for love. In high school my 1st husband and I dated, and I wasn't "allowed" to have friends, be social, or do anything without him. He would accuse me of all kinds of crazy things like watching other guys etc. I thought he loved me so much he didn't want to share. Boy was I wrong. After a miserable 14 year marriage full of me defending myself against his accusations, he left me for another woman! He was the one with the roving eye. Beware of jealous people.

151949 · ‎03-09-2010

@MyGirlsMom wrote:
Have your own money and if you can, your own bathroom.

We have our own bathrooms but unfortunately, I have to clean them both.

blackhole99 · ‎08-22-2013

@NoelSeven wrote:
@baker wrote:
Couple's who are truly in love and want to partner a life together will not keep secrets and hide money. That kind of behavior would not work for mem although it may for some, but again the spouse better not find out.
***************************

@blackhole99

Does this mean you want to know all the details of your husband's past? Who he was with, who he had a crush on, his intimate experiences, etc?

If at some point you are angry at him and consider leaving him, are you going to tell him, knowing it will hurt him? If you find another man attractive, even for a moment, do you rush to tell your husband?

Look, I've been married 42 years I knew who my husband was before I said I do and I don't care who he was in love with before he married me. Luckily neither of us had any baggage so I think that helps.

MyGirlsMom · ‎03-09-2010

@151949 wrote:
@MyGirlsMom wrote:
Have your own money and if you can, your own bathroom.
We have our own bathrooms but unfortunately, I have to clean them both.

**

Oh no...you don't have to clean both.

Keep Your Face To The Sunshine and You Will Not See The Shadow

chickenbutt · ‎03-09-2010

MyGirlsMom wrote:
151949 wrote:
MyGirlsMom wrote:
Have your own money and if you can, your own bathroom.
We have our own bathrooms but unfortunately, I have to clean them both.
**

Oh no...you don't have to clean both.

Ha! True - scary, but true. I don't clean his bathroom but fortunately I don't have to leave it to him. The cleaning lady cleans his thoroughly every couple of weeks. Personally, I don't even want to go in there.

tansy · ‎01-02-2011

I don't disagree with those statements I guess. I was married in the early 70s and it never occurred to us to have separate accounts. It seems easier to me to reach mutual financial goals when the money is commingled.

We certainly had our share of ups and downs over the years but money was never the reason for an argument.

Mrsq2022 · ‎03-10-2010

I agree with your mother! Your own money is important. Anyone who has been divorced knows that. And besides, how fun is it to have your husband buy you a gift, only to see the money coming right out of your shared account to pay for it. Talk about a buzzkill.

And yes, may, many things are better left unsaid, I can't imagine seeing a really good looking guy and saying to my husband "wow, he is hot!" Maybe some of you do, but I don't want to, nor would I want my husband telling me about every good looking woman he sees. He tells me I am the most beautiful woman at the party/restaurant and I love it (whether it is true or not)! If he were to say "While I do think that you are lovely, there are six women here who are probably considered to be more attractive than you...." Nope, I'll take the little lies!

Puzzle Piece · ‎06-29-2010

Depends on your marriage and who you married. I don't believe in openly hurting someone so I can agree with that angle. Sure, you do need to have your own money.

Never Forget the Native American Indian Holocaust

151949 · ‎03-09-2010

@MyGirlsMom wrote:
@151949 wrote:
@MyGirlsMom wrote:
Have your own money and if you can, your own bathroom.
We have our own bathrooms but unfortunately, I have to clean them both.
**

Oh no...you don't have to clean both.

My BR is the master bath - his is the guest bath. If i don't clean it up our guests would be appalled when they have to use it.Since the master bath is closer to the living room I generally tell guests they can use it, and sigh with relief if they do.

151949 · ‎03-09-2010

@chickenbutt wrote:
@MyGirlsMom wrote:
@151949 wrote:
@MyGirlsMom wrote:
Have your own money and if you can, your own bathroom.
We have our own bathrooms but unfortunately, I have to clean them both.
**

Oh no...you don't have to clean both.

Ha! True - scary, but true. I don't clean his bathroom but fortunately I don't have to leave it to him. The cleaning lady cleans his thoroughly every couple of weeks. Personally, I don't even want to go in there.

OMG - my DH's bathroom has to be cleaned every day. Actually , needs it more than that ! He spills liquid soap everywhere and gets the towel filthy, coming in from the garage and wiping his hands. Minimum of daily clean.