Community Chat

[nomless]

I don't think anyone really knows what to say in this situatuon.  It's difficult for everyone, IMO.  But the important thing is to say something.  I would call and arrange a visit, a short one if need be.  I think you'll find that once you make contact, the words will come. Don't over think it.  Just do it.  You'll feel so much better after you do, and your aunt and uncle will appreciate hearing from you and seeing you. 

My condolences to you.  Remember that you're the strong one now and reach out to them....they need to know you care and that they mean a lot to you.  

[Lila Belle]

Be honest with him and just tell the truth. ..I don't know what to say except that I love you.

[henderson]

If you are unable to visit, send your uncle a letter reminiscing about your childhood and the impact he had on your life.   I'm sure he would love to read about your thoughts growing up. 

[RetRN]

Could you write him a letter and enclose it in a nice "thinking of you" card"?

Maybe you could get him a nice book or CD since he probably is spending most of his time at home. Ignoring the situation is not the answer, I wish you well. 

[stevieb]

Wow, not to be harsh, but this isn't about you, it's about them... Pick up the phone and call. If you become emotional then you become emotional. At least that tells them you care. Doing nothing sends an altogether different message and maybe that's part of the reason your cousin never responded.

Several years back, I had a beloved aunt in a similar situation. I thought going to visit would be uncomforable, but you know, once I was there, it really wasn't. She was the same woman I'd known and loved for most of my life and after I went, and particularly, once she was gone, I was so glad to have spent that few hours visiting.

Life is full of challenges and having to bite the bullet and do difficult things, but remember, theirs is the real challenge.

[pegsue]

Wow-so many helpful responses!  Thank you so much!  I had tears in my eyes reading thru them.  I definitely have some ideas now and feel a bit more confident in myself.

For those of you who said "its not about you"  I NEVER intended it to me about me!  I was searching for advice, not attention.  There is a difference.  I am happy to say I've never been in this position before and I can be a shy and awkward person a lot of the times.  That is why I came here, I was looking for help.  In the years I have read these forums there are so many posters who give great advice and insight to various topics.  Sometimes I will actually change my viewpoint a subject because a poster is so eloquent it makes me see things a different way.  I love that! 

Again, thank you for all of the helpful responses.

[nomless]

@pegsue, I totally understand your apprehension about not knowing what to say or do.  It's especially difficult because you haven't been faced with this before.   But once you start doing something, it will be easier than you anticipated, I promise. Many good wishes to you.