Re: Advice about court

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

I'm with those who say it's not a good idea. For several reasons.

She may think she wants to be there, but the reality is likely not going to be at all what she expects.

And it may take a long time. Even adults get bored in court. I think it might be very, very boring for a child of that age. There could be a whole lot of waiting around and even more sitting through lots of formalities and legalese that will be meaningless to her.

You also have no idea what will be said or how it will be sad. Whether or not she's aware of the situation, having it discussed in a courtroom setting is a very different thing. And she may be subjected to some unpleasantness re other cases too.

You say the judge is a witch. That's not a good thing for a 9 y.o. to see. And if the judge asks her to leave, that could be upsetting for her.

If she's interested in seeing the inside of a courtroom, as you said, then that's a good thing and should be encouraged. But there are other ways to make that happen. I think you'd be better off taking her to a courtroom at another time, to see small claims court or something else in action that is not focused on issues within her own family. IMO she's just much too young, no matter how mature or well-behaved she is.

eta: I also want to say that I'm sorry you're in this situation. I wish you well.

Silver Lining · ‎04-16-2010

I would not take a 9yo granddaughter to witness a hearing in which her grandfather is being declared incompetent.

Pianomama · ‎03-10-2010

Thanks for your thoughtful replies and well wishes.

Burnsite · ‎03-10-2010

You know her best, pianomama. I am thinking of a friend's son about that age who insisted on attending his grandpa's funeral, and it clearly helped him process what had happened.

((Hugs)) for the situation you and your family are facing with the conservatorship. Including your granddaughter in the picture, depending on her temperament, might help her to process what she already knows is going on, too.

My family went through this conservatorship procedure, too: painful for everyone.

riley1 · ‎03-10-2010

IMO - not a good idea. Court hearings can be long. If she can't sit still and be quiet it could be a problem. As much as she says she wants to she probably doesn't get how long she might be there. Good Luck

Lipstickdiva · ‎03-10-2010

For conservatorships here in our Probate Court, you aren't actually in a court room. You either are in a magistrates office or the judge's office. It's not all that formal at all. Either the judge or magistrate asks a few questions and that's it.

Unless it's contested, this is a very informal procedure here.

missy1 · ‎03-10-2010

Check with your court. They usully don't allow children in them (for the court proceedings) or they have to be a certain age.

BabyYoda · ‎03-09-2010

I agree with others that said to check with the court about allowing children in the courtroom. She is too young to be exposed to a personal family case.

Lucky Charm · ‎03-09-2010

@Pianomama wrote:
Thank you, emma. The judge who has always presided over our attempts to get this conservatorship, is a real witch. She is impatient, rude and short with almost everyone and scares even the lawyers, I think. I wouldn't think twice about this except for the fact of how she is. I guess she could tell my granddaughter to leave if she doesn't want her there.

She's 9 years old? That's about 3rd maybe 4th grade? I wouldn't think this would be a good learning experience for a child especially if you've been declined before or at least had some sort of attempt made. You mention the judge being a real witch, do you think seeing a 9 year old would soften her heart? Not worth it if you ask me. Too bad she can't stay home with her Grandpa instead.

Pianomama · ‎03-10-2010

Just an update. I did not take her. It was probably best that she didn't go. I saw on the courtroom door "no children" so it's a good thing she didn't. It was hard for me today. I did get good news, but my DH is in the late stages and very difficult to take care of. I am very emotional and was scared to death I would burst into tears in the middle of the whole thing. BTW, we are in a courtroom and anyone can come in and listen, although i don't know why anyone would want to.The judge was pretty mild (for her.) Maybe she had a good weekend.

I could write a book about what and what not to do for a conservatorship. Unfortunately, I made mistakes that cost me financially ,and I also have a young inexperienced lawyer that didn't help. I am just ready for it to be done.. Thanks for your replies.