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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,672
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

AIRLINE ANNOUNCEMENTS

[ Edited ]

We all know that some people are alone, some have a small family, some have very few friends and some like myself who just lost a loved one are a bit sad at this time of the year.  Laughter is a great healer so I hope what I found regarding announcements that were made on airlines will bring a smile to everyone's face, and maybe even a chuckle or two.

 

1.  Welcome aboard Southwest Flight 245 to Tampa.  To operate your seat belt, just insert the metal into the bar, and pull tight.  If you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unspervised.

 

2.   People, people, we're not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it.

 

3.   Ladies and Gentlemen, we've reached the cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights.  This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants.

 

4.   We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today.  And the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you think of US, Airways.

 

5.   There may be fifty ways to leave your lover, but there are only four ways out of this airplane.

 

6.   Please be careful when opening the overhead bins because, you know, shift happens.

 

Watch for the next announcement currently being prepared.

The moving finger writes; And having writ, Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line Nor all your Tears Wash out a Word of it. Omar Khayam
Honored Contributor
Posts: 14,658
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

@Lindsays Grandma -

Those are funny! and by the way @Lindsays Grandma ,

I think you are pretty amazingSmiley Happy

Thinking of you and your precious sonHeart

"If you walk the footsteps of a stranger, you'll learn things you never knew. Can you sing with all the voices of the mountains? can you paint with all the colors of the wind?"
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,672
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

@on the bay wrote:

@Lindsays Grandma -

Those are funny! and by the way @Lindsays Grandma ,

I think you are pretty amazingSmiley Happy

Thinking of you and your precious sonHeart


@on the bay ...What a wonderful compliment, thank you so much, it is much appreciated. Heart

The moving finger writes; And having writ, Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line Nor all your Tears Wash out a Word of it. Omar Khayam
Honored Contributor
Posts: 18,767
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

I wish they would have thought up a funny one......instead of "We are unable to land at O'Hare because of the weather"...........

♥Surface of the Sun♥
Honored Contributor
Posts: 69,382
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

This sounds more like the kind of dialogue you hear on Southwest Airlines.  Some of it sounds very familiar. 

New Mexico☀️Land Of Enchantment
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Posts: 587
Registered: ‎06-30-2014

Re: AIRLINE ANNOUNCEMENTS

[ Edited ]

@Lindsays Grandma wrote:

We all know that some people are alone, some have a small family, some have very few friends and some like myself who just lost a loved one are a bit sad at this time of the year.  Laughter is a great healer so I hope what I found regarding announcements that were made on airlines will bring a smile to everyone's face, and maybe even a chuckle or two.

 

1.  Welcome aboard Southwest Flight 245 to Tampa.  To operate your seat belt, just insert the metal into the bar, and pull tight.  If you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unspervised.

 

2.   People, people, we're not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it.

 

3.   Ladies and Gentlemen, we've reached the cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights.  This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants.

 

4.   We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today.  And the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you think of US, Airways.

 

5.   There may be fifty ways to leave your lover, but there are only four ways out of this airplane.

 

6.   Please be careful when opening the overhead bins because, you know, shift happens.

 

Watch for the next announcement currently being prepared.


Thank you for sharing, needed the chuckle.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 18,767
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

@Kachina624 wrote:

This sounds more like the kind of dialogue you hear on Southwest Airlines.  Some of it sounds very familiar. 


@Kachina624   I just got lucky......my CHGO relative moved near a southern  airport that SW serves......(!!)

♥Surface of the Sun♥
Honored Contributor
Posts: 69,382
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

@Desertdi.  No more playing Russian Roulette flying into Midway in December?

New Mexico☀️Land Of Enchantment
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@Kachina624 wrote:

@Desertdi.  No more playing Russian Roulette flying into Midway in December?


@Kachina624    Midway is 70 miles south of where my relative used to live.....      Anyway......those planes flying into MDW come in to land  about 50 feet above Cicero Ave...........scaring the --- out of passengers, and drivers on the road below.     I'd rather drive down from Milwaukee if I couldn't get to O'Hare.....

♥Surface of the Sun♥
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Posts: 3,327
Registered: ‎05-09-2016

Re: AIRLINE ANNOUNCEMENTS

[ Edited ]

@Kachina624 wrote:

This sounds more like the kind of dialogue you hear on Southwest Airlines.  Some of it sounds very familiar. 


That's because they've been around forever, in one form or another. Kind of the "urban legend" of announcements. I've never flown Southwest, but I've seen viral clips of their FA's using some of these. I've never heard anything like them on any of the airlines that I've flown. 

~The more someone needs to brag about how wonderful, special, successful, wealthy or important they are, the greater the likelihood that it isn't true. ~