AFTER MANY YEARS...

Lindsays Grandma · ‎03-10-2010

1. of studying at a university I've finally become a PHD...or Pizza Hut Deliveryman as people call it.

2. A naked woman robbed a bank. Nobody could remember her face.

3. He: "You are so kind, funny and beautiful."

She: "Oh come on. You just want to get me in bed."

He: "And smart too."

4. Do you know what you can hold without ever touching it? A conversation.

5. Q: What do politicians and diapers have in common? A: Both should be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

6. A wife is like a hand grenade. Take off the rings and say goodbye to your house.

7. We have a strange custom in our office. The food had names on them yesterday for example. I got me a sandwich out of the fridge and the name was Michael.

8. Grandpa, why don't you have any life insurance? So you can all be sad when I die.

9. A nice old lady on a bus offers the driver some peanuts. He's happy to take some and munching, he asks her why she isn't having any herself. "Oh, young man, she says, "they're too hard on my poor teeth. I couldn't." "Why buy them at all then?" asked the driver. "You see, I just love the chocolate they're covered in."

10. You'll never believe who I bumped into on my way to the eye doctor. Everybody!

The moving finger writes; And having writ, Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line Nor all your Tears Wash out a Word of it. Omar Khayam

NicksmomESQ · ‎08-19-2014

@Lindsays Grandma 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

Thanks again.You never disappoint!!

Mz iMac · ‎07-26-2014

#5 & #9

"Never argue with a fool. Onlookers may not be able to tell the difference."

phoenixbrd · ‎03-27-2010

No.9....eeeeuuuuwwwww!

Thanks @Lindsays Grandma for the laughs!

deedledeedeedle · ‎05-27-2014

OK, LG, #9!!! Ewwww.

dee

@Lindsays Grandma wrote:
1. of studying at a university I've finally become a PHD...or Pizza Hut Deliveryman as people call it.

2. A naked woman robbed a bank. Nobody could remember her face.

3. He: "You are so kind, funny and beautiful."
She: "Oh come on. You just want to get me in bed."
He: "And smart too."

4. Do you know what you can hold without ever touching it? A conversation.

5. Q: What do politicians and diapers have in common? A: Both should be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

6. A wife is like a hand grenade. Take off the rings and say goodbye to your house.

7. We have a strange custom in our office. The food had names on them yesterday for example. I got me a sandwich out of the fridge and the name was Michael.

8. Grandpa, why don't you have any life insurance? So you can all be sad when I die.

9. A nice old lady on a bus offers the driver some peanuts. He's happy to take some and munching, he asks her why she isn't having any herself. "Oh, young man, she says, "they're too hard on my poor teeth. I couldn't." "Why buy them at all then?" asked the driver. "You see, I just love the chocolate they're covered in."

10. You'll never believe who I bumped into on my way to the eye doctor. Everybody!

Lindsays Grandma · ‎03-10-2010

@deedledeedeedle wrote:
OK, LG, #9!!! Ewwww.

dee
@Lindsays Grandma wrote:
1. of studying at a university I've finally become a PHD...or Pizza Hut Deliveryman as people call it.

2. A naked woman robbed a bank. Nobody could remember her face.

3. He: "You are so kind, funny and beautiful."
She: "Oh come on. You just want to get me in bed."
He: "And smart too."

4. Do you know what you can hold without ever touching it? A conversation.

5. Q: What do politicians and diapers have in common? A: Both should be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

6. A wife is like a hand grenade. Take off the rings and say goodbye to your house.

7. We have a strange custom in our office. The food had names on them yesterday for example. I got me a sandwich out of the fridge and the name was Michael.

8. Grandpa, why don't you have any life insurance? So you can all be sad when I die.

9. A nice old lady on a bus offers the driver some peanuts. He's happy to take some and munching, he asks her why she isn't having any herself. "Oh, young man, she says, "they're too hard on my poor teeth. I couldn't." "Why buy them at all then?" asked the driver. "You see, I just love the chocolate they're covered in."

10. You'll never believe who I bumped into on my way to the eye doctor. Everybody!

@deedledeedeedle ...I don't make them up, I just copy them.

The moving finger writes; And having writ, Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line Nor all your Tears Wash out a Word of it. Omar Khayam