👉🏿 A must read for spouses and/or partners 👍🏾 - Page 3

ShowMe · ‎09-06-2010

Have all my papers in order....have for quite some time now. Don't want anyone to have any problems when I'm gone. Those that know they are in charge should I become unable to handle things know they are designated..... This was important to me when I was diagnosed with cancer almost 4 years ago. But prior to that I did have all my papers in order.

Remember.....everything being said on here is being read by folks that are tracking these boards..... See OP's other thread on here she posted today.

Kalli · ‎03-11-2010

This is timely info for me. I’ve been reminding DH we need to redo our wills as our children were in HS when we last did them. They’re in their 30s now. 😮 Where does the time go?

All our investment/financial stuff is in our files. I don’t run the business, dh does. It would be a learning curve for sure even though I know where the bank accounts are and I have a basic knowledge of the transactions. Thankfully no passwords to worry about.

Glioblastoma is a devastating illness. Patients are often sent to surgery quickly. After tumor is removed the patient is already compromised by the fact that they’ve had major brain surgery. So even if the couple has more time, the effort and stress of dealing day to day make plannng for the inevitable death of a spouse and life after that loss even harder.

Yes, this couple should’ve been a little better prepared but once drawn into this devastating vortex, everything became more challenging.

Nightowlz · ‎03-11-2010

MY DH does not have a clue. If I die first he will have to figure out all the bill paying, passwords etc. I told him what our checking account info is but doubt he remembered because it's not wrote down any place.

I guess I should put things in order to make his life easier just as I have asked for things from him that I know I need to know when he dies.

Maybe I can get him to get it done.

We have just been through all of this since my dad & DH dad both passed this year.

DH's mom has been dealing with a mess because she has no clue to anything. She did not even know how to adjust the AC thermostat.

Since a few things were not in order half went to her & the other half went to the 4 kids. Now DH owns part of her house. That's not right IMO but it's the law here since she was not on the deed or listed as having survivorship rights. He also had some money he invested still not sure what type account it was that his mom got half & the 4 kids get the rest. We are suppose to cash the check give the money to his mom & claim it on our taxes. I was not happy about that. We are paying taxes on someone else's money the way I look at it.

They did see a lawyer years ago & were told they did not need a Will. The lawyer his mom has now did not do her right IMO. He told her one thing & did something else.

When my mom passed all 7 of us kids signed a paper signing our rights away so it all went to my dad. That's what should have been done for DH's mom.

I made sure I have survivorship rights on our Deed to the house. If DH dies it's mine. I'm not sharing it with his sisters as the law says will happen if I don't have those survivorship rights. BS!!!

We don't have a Will we just assumed what was mine was his & what is his is mine if one dies but that's not the case.

Mz iMac · ‎07-26-2014

@occasionalrain

It's apparent that the BIL nor the rest of his family talked about "growing up" around wify either!

"Never argue with a fool. Onlookers may not be able to tell the difference."

esmerelda · ‎03-10-2010

I pretty much quit at "our email account." "Our"? And she didn't know how to get in?

One thing often overlooked by homeowners who are not on city water and sewer...know where your septic tank is. A short conversation is easier, cheaper and more attractive than a dug up lawn.

*********************
Keepin' it real.

DrakesMomma · ‎06-02-2010

This just isn't for 75 year olds. My dear sweet nephew died last week at the age of 40. He has a daughter. She is 16. He was never married. His mom (my sister) became his legal representative ALTHOUGH it isn't what he would have wanted. In the last 5 years she saw him for about a total of 10 minutes. That 10 minutes was because he stopped by her house to get my phone number. She didn't/doesn't know anything about her son. He said to me several weeks ago "my mom abused me". I was driving. He was sitting next to me. I couldn't see his face. I just reached for his hand and held it. And, he was right. This woman that didn't know my nephew got to make/is still making decisions for him.

I told my husband the only thing I want for Christmas is a trip to a lawyer's office.

esmerelda · ‎03-10-2010

@Nightowlz wrote:
MY DH does not have a clue. If I die first he will have to figure out all the bill paying, passwords etc. I told him what our checking account info is but doubt he remembered because it's not wrote down any place.
I guess I should put things in order to make his life easier just as I have asked for things from him that I know I need to know when he dies.
Maybe I can get him to get it done.
We have just been through all of this since my dad & DH dad both passed this year.
DH's mom has been dealing with a mess because she has no clue to anything. She did not even know how to adjust the AC thermostat.
Since a few things were not in order half went to her & the other half went to the 4 kids. Now DH owns part of her house. That's not right IMO but it's the law here since she was not on the deed or listed as having survivorship rights. He also had some money he invested still not sure what type account it was that his mom got half & the 4 kids get the rest. We are suppose to cash the check give the money to his mom & claim it on our taxes. I was not happy about that. We are paying taxes on someone else's money the way I look at it.
They did see a lawyer years ago & were told they did not need a Will. The lawyer his mom has now did not do her right IMO. He told her one thing & did something else.
When my mom passed all 7 of us kids signed a paper signing our rights away so it all went to my dad. That's what should have been done for DH's mom.
I made sure I have survivorship rights on our Deed to the house. If DH dies it's mine. I'm not sharing it with his sisters as the law says will happen if I don't have those survivorship rights. BS!!!
We don't have a Will we just assumed what was mine was his & what is his is mine if one dies but that's not the case.

@NightowlzMaybe you can find out what effect the money you're not keeping will have on your taxes and withhold that much. It only seems right.

We had wills...a couple decades old (although nothing in them was really out of date) and witnessed. All I needed to do was find a witness to sign an affidavit. They had been employees at the law office and...SURPRISE...didn't work there anymore. If I couldn't find a witness, it would be as if there was no will and I'd have to share. Fortunately I found one witness because on an unusual name. Now, apparently, wills are being notarized and that won't be a problem in the future.

However, there was little that would have been shared without the witness as anything of value (property, investments, etc.) are titled in a trust. My sweet and very smart DH...I miss him everyday as much I did the first day I was without him.

*********************
Keepin' it real.

Nightowlz · ‎03-11-2010

@esmerelda wrote:
I pretty much quit at "our email account." "Our"? And she didn't know how to get in?

One thing often overlooked by homeowners who are not on city water and sewer...know where your septic tank is. A short conversation is easier, cheaper and more attractive than a dug up lawn.

@esmerelda

We knew my dad had septic & where it was but we did not know what to do with it. We found out who services it & had them make sure there was nothing wrong with it before we sold his house.

Nightowlz · ‎03-11-2010

@esmerelda

DH does not want to give his mom the difference after the taxes. She needs it more than we do. Plus DH said it will all be a wash when we get 1/4th of the house when she's gone. I failed to think about that. I'm not going to make a big deal about it.

I just felt her lawyer should have had the kids sign their rights over so that money plus all the house goes to her while she's still here. It's only right IMO.

The problem I have with the whole situation is having to go to an accountant to see what we need to do. What a hassle.

My dad passed & we won't have to do anything with my inheritance on our taxes since things were done correct.