Community Chat

[Oostende]

My neighbors have an unusual situation.  They are a family with 3 sons.  The eldest son and his wife are childless and they have a beloved dog.

The middle son and his wife have a new baby, the only grandchild.  The parents of the baby do not want the dog and the baby in close proximity to one another.  They've asked the eldest brother to lock his dog in a bedroom or tie the dog to the living room table leg with a leash.  Anything to restrain the dog while the baby is around.  

The dog is not known to be vicious but the dog is not accustomed to being around babies either.  The dog is a border collie cross, so medium size, and very energetic.  The baby doesn't have a dog in his home.

The home of the parents of the boys (and grandparents to the baby) are where the family meets.  The mom is on hospice and is not expected to survive more than a month.

The eldest brother refuses to place any restrictions on the dog while the dog is at the house of the parents.  The dog must run free.  The dog is his "child."

As a result, the middle brother leaves the baby with his wife, and visits his parents alone, when the eldest brother is there.  The grandchild and his mother visit when the eldest brother and his dog are away.

I'm sorry for my neighbor.  She cannot have her three sons and her grandson all together at the same time.  She can have the eldest brother and the dog or the middle brother and his baby, but she cannot have her entire family around her while she is dying.  (She and her husband will not choose sides.  They are dealing with enough.)

Personally, I think the eldest brother is a vile, contemptible little toad who should be ashamed for placing this burden on his family at this time.  When he went on vacation earlier this year, his doggie "child" went into the kennel, so this "child" scam of his only goes into effect when the dog is not a direct burden to him.

Even when the mother dies, the problem will not be resolved.  The middle son and his wife will have more children, and they will presumably feel the same way about their babies and unrestrained dogs,  so this will be an ongoing problem for the dad.  Holidays and family get togethers are going to be difficult.

Do any of you have any thoughts you'd like to share?  I would not presume to offer this family any advice, so my question is purely academic.  

[maestra]

Family meets in a hotel (hint for the baby family, maybe) for a lovely dinner together.

Eldest son stays w/doggie at doggie friendlyhotel other than his sibling. Parents get to relax.

No problem.

Just have to be firm.

Good luck with that.

[cherry]

It sounds like there might be some jealousy toward the baby. He could kennel the dog for a couple of hrs while he visits, or let his wife care for the dog at home

[Oostende]

Thank you @maestra.  Unfortunately, the mom cannot go anywhere.  She is housebound.  It works for everyone else though.  

[Oostende]

Thank you @cherry.  The boy with the dog refuses to so much and tie the dog to a table to restrain it.  

[GCR18]

The eldest son should leave his dog home, get a pet sitter or drop him off at doggie day care.  Too bad he can't see that he is causing a rift in the family.

[Oostende]

Thank you @GCR18.  I wonder if there are any pet owners who feel the oldest boy is justified in his actions.

[cherry]

I think he is using the dog as a battering ram. If he kennels it when he goes on vacation, he has let the dog be away from him. It might be a perfectly nice dog with a bad owner

[ValuSkr]

I appreciate owners who don't have to take their dogs with them wherever they go.  They are being considerate.

[Yankee2000]

I am the biggest animal lover on the planet,  that being said, the owner of the dog should respect all involved and make arrangements for the dog during these visits.  I'm sure he could leave the dog with a trusted friend so the whole family could be together.