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Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,240
Registered: ‎11-15-2011

A Friend passed away last week and

they had no service and not even an obituary on the internet. 

 

Is this common today?  

 

I understand "no service" but no obituary???

Honored Contributor
Posts: 25,788
Registered: ‎03-16-2010

Re: A Friend passed away last week and

I don't think it's "common", at least it doesn't appear to be in my area.

 

However, my husband requested "nothing" and that's what he got.  No service, no obituary--nothing.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 14,991
Registered: ‎03-15-2014

Re: A Friend passed away last week and

I think it's okay.  Some people are private and prefer no hoopla.  And some families have better things on which to spend $$$.  ... No criticism from this corner!

Honored Contributor
Posts: 14,000
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: A Friend passed away last week and

It is very common in our area.  Deaths are reported by word of mouth.  A small community church lost 7 people due to Covid and not one of them showed up in the paper.  

Honored Contributor
Posts: 15,219
Registered: ‎11-24-2013

Re: A Friend passed away last week and

@Zhills An obit is not as common as it was many years ago. When my late DH died as a retired AF officer he was entitled to a military funeral but told me years ago: No service, no obit. He was cremated per his wishes. All who knew and loved him knew of his death and had been in touch during life. No need to advertise to strangers or people who had been out of touch for years.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 13,993
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: A Friend passed away last week and

My husband and I have included in our wills instructions for no services or obituary.  We have always been very private people.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 14,926
Registered: ‎11-03-2018

Re: A Friend passed away last week and

I think they are becoming less common. 

 

The last 2 people we knew that passed away did not have an online obituary.  I don't feel the need to have that information posted personally. 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 77,981
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: A Friend passed away last week and

Its common in my family.  Neither of my parents wanted an obituary or service of any kind.  They had a ton of friends here over the years but at their advanced ages, nobody was left.  I was their only relative here.  I think many people, especially those who move for retirement, are in the same situation so it has become increasingly common.

New Mexico☀️Land Of Enchantment
Super Contributor
Posts: 255
Registered: ‎08-19-2019

Re: A Friend passed away last week and

I have a friend from high school that reconnected on facebook.  Apparently last year her husband died.  She made no mention of it on line and there was no obituary of any kind to be found.

 

The only reason I know is because of comments that she and others made on line. 

 

I have no idea why and have not questioned her about it publicly. 

 

My Mother always said that funeral services and wakes were for the living.  One person she knew took her advice and later thanked her because having others around sharing their memories was such a comfort to her.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 13,311
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: A Friend passed away last week and

Most people do have an obit but they are pricey.  My brother's that I did last year was very simple and not long at all.  It was just under $200.00 for basically two paragraphs.  May be they will do one a bit later than just after the death. 

I am so sorry for your loss.

 

"Live frugally, but love extravagantly."