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Super Contributor
Posts: 359
Registered: ‎10-08-2014

3 weddings this fall

..in a row . I have three weddings to attend this fall on three weekends in a row. 2 are family 2nd weddings and one is a friends son .  All require some travel .  The 2nd weddings are big affairs . Am I giving a gift $ , as if it were the first wedding ?? 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,080
Registered: ‎11-24-2013

Re: 3 weddings this fall

@GinzTonic  It's up to you. When I attended a bride's 2nd wedding I gave a very modest gift.

Trusted Contributor
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Registered: ‎03-29-2019

Re: 3 weddings this fall

It's up to you. 

 

 

There are no rules on whether to give a gift or not for a second wedding.

The Sky looks different when you have someone you love up there.
Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,481
Registered: ‎10-27-2010

Re: 3 weddings this fall

Your call. How close you are to the couples is part of the equation. 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,497
Registered: ‎03-12-2010

Re: 3 weddings this fall

If you are attending the wedding then a gift is in order. Your call as to how much spent. Bride's second marriage, grooms or both?

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,744
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Re: 3 weddings this fall

 

According to etiquette, gifts aren’t required for a second wedding (if you gave a gift at the first). But I think it’s a nice gesture. It’s a way of saying, “We’re happy for you, and we wish you well!”


Gifts for second weddings tend to be more modest IMO.

 

A gift card to a favorite restaurant might be a good choice. Or something that fits in with their hobbies.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,414
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: 3 weddings this fall


@peachesncream wrote:

 

According to etiquette, gifts aren’t required for a second wedding (if you gave a gift at the first). But I think it’s a nice gesture. It’s a way of saying, “We’re happy for you, and we wish you well!”


Gifts for second weddings tend to be more modest IMO.

 

A gift card to a favorite restaurant might be a good choice. Or something that fits in with their hobbies.


I never say this but that's kind of not fair if it's not a second wedding for both of them.

If it were me and I went to the first wedding, I wouldn't go to the second.   

Honored Contributor
Posts: 20,719
Registered: ‎05-10-2010

Re: 3 weddings this fall

You would give whatever you want to give.  I give money in gift card form now because it's easier and that's what most couples want.  Also most couples today live together, sometimes for years, before they get married and they already have a complete  home.  I don't make a distinction between 2nd weddings unless the 1st wedding was just a short time ago and we gave a really big gift.  Which hasn't actually happened to us.   Last Fall, my dear friend's daughter who is close to both my girls got married for the 3rd time within 8 years.  I've known that girl since she was 4 so we we were very generous the first two times down the aisle but we did draw the line at the 3rd wedding.  We gave them a lovely pitcher/glasses set that I found at Marshall's.  

Honored Contributor
Posts: 49,772
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: 3 weddings this fall

[ Edited ]

I avoid weddings as much as possible. When I do go, it seems some sort of gift is somewhat obligatory. For second weddings, the gift is often a token gift, sometimes it's something a bit more for the person I know that invited me and less for the couple. In as much as these second weddings are 'big affairs' the assumption might be that these couples are in a place in life where they don't require the usual newlywed accouterments... As for the son of the friend, looks like you're stuck with selecting something from the wedding gift registry should you decide to go.


In my pantry with my cupcakes...
Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,744
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Re: 3 weddings this fall


@CelticCrafter wrote:

@peachesncream wrote:

 

According to etiquette, gifts aren’t required for a second wedding (if you gave a gift at the first). But I think it’s a nice gesture. It’s a way of saying, “We’re happy for you, and we wish you well!”


Gifts for second weddings tend to be more modest IMO.

 

A gift card to a favorite restaurant might be a good choice. Or something that fits in with their hobbies.


I never say this but that's kind of not fair if it's not a second wedding for both of them.

If it were me and I went to the first wedding, I wouldn't go to the second.   


Your point (about a wedding possibly being a first wedding for one of them) is valid. I think there are more good reasons to give a wedding gift than to not give one, no matter the etiquette. 

 

I've only been to a few second weddings. Most subsequent weddings - at least in our families - have been quiet affairs or elopements. DH and I have always sent a gift anyway. It's a sign of goodwill, I guess you could say.