18, and Out? - Page 4

Group 5 minus 1 · ‎03-11-2010

@SurferWife And a fine broth of a son is he--as the Irish would say.

And there was no one left to speak out for me....

qualitygal · ‎10-04-2010

I couldn't do that unless I guess we knew we were being taken advantage of.

CalminHeart · ‎03-09-2010

Each child has different needs. I don't believe in charging if they are in college, working, and doing the right things.

Once they graduate and get a job, they need to move on and be adults.

I had one child move home at age 27 for 4 months while the home he bought was being painted, cleaned, and updated. No charge because he was adulting.

busymom22 · ‎07-26-2017

My kids are college-aged, and I do NOT subscribe to this very outdated concept.

There is a lot of "confirmation bias" on this topic where people will use their own adult children as examples. Well, if any of them are older than about 27, they came of age in a very different financial environment. Things have changed a LOT.

Rent and housing costs have exploded everywhere. Interest rates are double what they were just a couple of years ago. Rent on a two bedroom by me is minimum 2k a month. College tuition has skyrocketed. Food is higher than ever as are cars, insurance, etc. Wages have not kept pace.Unless an 18 year old enrolls in the military there is no way to make a go of it on their own unless they get a LOT of help from someone.

So it pains me to see this topic as there's a lot of willfull ignorance out there. An 18 year old kicked out on their own will struggle for many years. Why would any loving parent choose to do that?

I've always told our kids as long as they are in school and/or working they are welcome to live with us. We want them to succeed and be able to buy their own homes and be financially independent.

occasionalrain · ‎03-10-2010

Forgive the OT, but thread has me thinking of our foster system.

Foster children are moved from one foster family to another, sometimes eight times, their belongings in a plastic trash bag. When they turn 18, they have aged out and are on their own. Because of the instability, education suffers, self worth suffers and they are ill prepared to succeed. We need to change this, they deserve better.

KaySD · ‎08-16-2016

There's no "right" answer to this one. Every family, person and situation is unique. Still, I think it's generally good to expect adult people to be supporting themselves one way or another once they are out of school, or contributing something even if they are full time students. There are a zillion different ways to make this work.

RedTop · ‎09-01-2010

@occasionalrain

I agree. 90% of the students my teacher daughter has taught in her 20 years of teaching fall into a category like you're referring to. Our eyes have been opened wider than ever, and when she sees/finds a way to help, we do.

Rockycoast · ‎03-02-2016

Absolutely Not. “Parents” that kick their kids out at an arbitrary age are horrid people. Thinking their job is done as a parent, they should not have had kids in the first place. Our kids had Summer jobs when old enough. Did not work during school. Their job was to get educated during that time. Then off to college. Both are doing well in their careers and know if anything were to happen, they could come back home. Parenting does not stop at age 18. It is a life time commitment.