Community Chat

[gidgetgh]

@dooBdoo- thanks for this thread.

I made the final decision yesterday.  I'm not putting up a tree this year.  I just have too much on my plate right now and I just can't do it.  

I feel a little sad about it, a little guilty, but to be honest, the biggest emotion I feel is relief.

I bought several pop up Christmas cards from Hallmark this year- love them.  Saturday I put them on the dining room table.

I'm going to put out 3 wooden angels I bought last month, a Santa that I've had since I was a little girl and a pipe cleaner tree under a glass dome that a friend made me years ago.  And that's going to be the extent of our decorating.

I'm looking forward to spending Christmas day with my family (have no idea if it's going to be at my sister's house or here) and with my husband's family Christmas Eve.  But, to be perfectly honest, I'm looking forward to it being January 2nd and the holidays will finally be over.  

It's just all too much hoopla and advance preparation for me.  It's overwhelming.  I have no interest in listening to Christmas music.  It makes me too sad.

[Greeneyedlady21]

 I'm very sad this Christmas. It will be my Mom's last Christmas. I didn't want to put up any decorations but I did it for her. Just very downscaled. Bought a new small tree, 5 ft, that's all gold accents and very glittery. No ornaments needed. My Mom only likes traditional trees but she loves this tree. So that makes me happy. Bought her a few gifts and bought a few gifts for me. I wasn't going to buy for me but then I accepted that I deserve them.

I'm sad because of my messed up siblings. But I can't change them, unfortunately. Just how I react to them.

Anyone who feels the need, don't hesitate to call a help and support hotline. Suicide hotlines aren't just for someone who is really going to do that. Honestly I called one night a few weeks ago and talked to a great guy who really helped me when I needed someone to talk to. 

[newname0]

[NorthernLights]

@dooBdoo

Here's to one of the sweetest people on this site. <3

[dmod nj]

@dooBdoo  you are one of the kindest and most thoughtful posters on this site. 

@Greeneyedlady21  I'm glad you reached out when you needed someone to talk to, listened to  a new perspective and you feel a bit better after the call.  I think it was brave of you to call, smart to share your experience here. I'm sure you helped someone reading this thread.  

For all those struggling this holiday season, I wish you peace of mind and heart. 

[Patriot3]

I'm not sad for Christmas because it is celebrating Jesus' birth.  I'm sad when it is all over.  All the prep and hype and then my birthday which has always gotten lost in the shuffle.  And other family b.days w/in a few days.  I miss the days when my parents were still alive.  And then I hate the long winter ahead.  I make a real effort every year to not think about it!

[chrystaltree]

I think people who are sad and depressed over the holidays after many, many years are just depressed and they should seek out treatment or a support group.  I know from personal experience that the holidays and birthdays and family events are indeed difficult those first couple of years after we lose someone we love.  I stayed in bed the first Christmas after my mom passed and I had young kids.  Hubby made Christmas for them that year.  But that was 15 years ago and after that first year or two, rather than dwelling on not having her, I remembered the good times and kept her traditions going and remembered the true meaning of Christmas which is a time of love and hope and doesn't involve candy canes and carols and christmas presents.   I think even if you feel numb or sad yourself during the holidays, it helps to not focus on your own feelings and think about others.  It's almost like a learned skill, the more you "fake it", the better things become.  I think the opposite is true too, the more you dwell on the sadness, the worse you feel.  You find yourself in a whole and you can either climb out or keep digging that hole deeper and deeper and deeper.  My middle sister is like that.  She consciously chooses to immerse herself in her losses and is obssessed on what Christmas isn't now that our parents are gone and now that she has some health issues so it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.   Life is what we make it and I acknowledge that some people need help in dealing with their feelings, especially if they've had those feelings for years and even decades.  But help is available for them, if they want it.  

[SilleeMee]

I'll be in better mental shape when the holidays are over and done with. It's just getting through them that is the hard part and I really hate it a lot.  For me it's like having a constant reminder of what I don't have...a family. Sad in many ways but I have gotten used to it.

[dooBdoo]

@Daysdee, @GCR18, @Zhills, @Mi47,@QVCkitty1, @Katcat1, @cancun08, @fortune, @Wheatchick1, @wonderfulworld, @3suwm5, @Drythe, @SleeplessinSD, @DiAnne, @Caaareful Shopper,@SouthernBee, @catchersmom, @gidgetgh, @Greeneyedlady21, @newname0, @NorthernLights, @dmod nj, @Patriot3, @chrystaltree, @SilleeMee

            Hi, everyone.❤️   Please forgive if I omitted any names.  Thank you, from my heart to yours, for your touching and sensitive posts and images.   And for such kind words, thank you.    I wanted to write earlier, and to you individually, but I'm such a goofball...  hurt my right hand today, and since I'm right-handed it's slowing me down more than I would've thought.   Typing with one hand, the left one, is slow going!   Hoping it's nothing serious, hyperextension from catching myself when I tripped, but it's all taped up right now. 

            I want all of you to know how much I appreciate you.   Please remember that you are special, unique in all the world, and as the article reminds us:   you are not alone.   By sharing what you've posted, you'll never know how much you might have touched someone profoundly and helped us through the next minute...  hour...  day...  week.   You've offered a priceless gift out to the universe.   Thank you. 

 ❤️

[JudyL]

@dooBdoo Thank you for posting this.  The holiday season is not an easy one for me and depression lurks around the corner.  I really needed this post today.  Blessings to you!