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Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,110
Registered: ‎03-12-2010

Re: deeply sad message from Frederik Backman


@Judaline wrote:

@LoriLori  I have no words regarding what he wrote. What a troubled soul. It must have felt good putting it all on paper. I hope he finds peace somehow.

 

I was wondering if that is a self portrait on your url? It is so beautiful. 


 

@Judaline   Not sure, but I think you're referring to the watercolor on his blog?  And if yes, this blog post, and he's been blogging for years I think even before he started writing novels, is as he says the only thing he's ever written in English.

 

And I love him even more for that.

 

 

 

 

Respected Contributor
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Registered: ‎04-19-2015

Re: deeply sad message from Frederik Backman

@LoriLori Thank you for sharing this.

 

 I read A Man Called Ove and considered it to be one of the best books I've ever read.  

 

I also suffer from anxiety and panic attacks.  Many times I have to remind myself to breath and to remind myself that I have a great life.  I am much better and much happier now since I stepped away from a high pressure job and only work part time now.  

 

I can imagine how difficult it is for him to have to go to all those events (doing tours, PR, and meetings...etc), dealing with fame, and expectations while also suffering from depression, anxiety and panic attacks.  I wish hiim the best.

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Re: deeply sad message from Frederik Backman


@CareBears wrote:

@LoriLori Reading this just breaks my heart, but I do know how he feels, and after reading it, I have even more respect for him.  I suffer with severe depression, anxiety, panic attacks, and social phobia.  How this man does what he does is above being brave, he is an extremely strong person.  When you suffer with what he does, just getting out of bed every day is extremely hard, especially when you are under a great amount of stress.  He is very lucky that his family and friends support him, my family have dropped me like a hot potato, and want nothing to do with me, even though one of my nieces suffer also, they support her, but they have labeled me a freak and dangerous.  I would never hurt another living thing, people judge so harshly without knowing any of the facts and that is what is so painful.  That is why I am such an avid reader it helps me escape my reality, and I can enter into other places to submerge myself into happier worlds, where no one is judging you and labeling you.  I will pray for Frerdrik Backman but now can understand why his books always touch my heeart as they do, he literally is putting his soul into each book which is a very brave way to write.


@CareBears  I am so sorry that your family didn't support you. I think people are scared of things they don't know and don't understand.  Hugs to you.

Esteemed Contributor
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Re: deeply sad message from Frederik Backman

[ Edited ]

@momoftwo2007 it is their loss!  I used to think I was pond scum and never deserved to be loved or cared for, now I know that I deserve everything that life has to offer, if my family cannot see that, then so be it, I am not going to beg to be in thier life, and one day they will wake up and realize what they missed out on not being in my life!

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,527
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: deeply sad message from Frederik Backman

I enjoyed A Man Called Ove and just finished Beartown which I only got because the one after it sounded good.  I'll have to rethink that.  Beartown was an audible download and I can listen to almost anything as I go about my day.  If I'd been reading it, I doubt I'd have gotten very far.

 

It sounds like his blog post is very sad and I won't be reading that.  Why would I?

*********************
Keepin' it real.
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,405
Registered: ‎03-12-2010

Re: deeply sad message from Frederik Backman

@LoriLori - I know you called me out in the monthly thread, but thought I’d reply here.

 

Unless I missed it, but I don’t think his post means he will stop writing and I still think there will be a third book in the Beartown trilogy.  His wording was so specific in Beartown and Us Against You. I can’t see how the rest of Beartown will fit in, but I fully expect it to be Benji focused anyways.

 

In a strange way, it makes sense - I can feel his emotions in his books. Like someone said earlier, he puts everything in his words.  I can’t imagine how difficult it must be for him, but it also seems like something he has to do.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,610
Registered: ‎07-09-2010

Re: deeply sad message from Frederik Backman

When light is shone - it becomes a less scary place. Time to discuss depression and such issues out in the open and not whispered behind backs. I admit I don't know much about this but after Anthony B - I started watrching his shows (I knew of him but only watched a handful of episodes). A man who is such a masterful storyteller and bada$$ couldn't fight it. 

 

A Man Called Ove touched me - written so beautifully @Bird mama and I suggest anyone who never read it to do so. It seem like such a thin simple book but it really touched my humaness if that makes any sense.

 

I applaud him for writing so bravely. I pray he finds a way to come through this heavy fog. I always felt his books were more personal and not being churned out, now I know.

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Re: deeply sad message from Frederik Backman

@CareBears thank you for sharing

 

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Re: deeply sad message from Frederik Backman

[ Edited ]

@Alter Ego wrote:

@LoriLori - I know you called me out in the monthly thread, but thought I’d reply here.

 

Unless I missed it, but I don’t think his post means he will stop writing and I still think there will be a third book in the Beartown trilogy.  His wording was so specific in Beartown and Us Against You. I can’t see how the rest of Beartown will fit in, but I fully expect it to be Benji focused anyways.

 

In a strange way, it makes sense - I can feel his emotions in his books. Like someone said earlier, he puts everything in his words.  I can’t imagine how difficult it must be for him, but it also seems like something he has to do.


 

 

@Alter Ego  I didn't ":call you out," that's a negative and I didn't do that, I I notified you.  And in my post I said sorry, you were right, I was wrong,  And I put it in the monthly thread because parts of the conversation don't relate to this thread.  

 

I didn't pick up the vibe of a trilogy.  It's because personally I felt closure at the end of the Us Against You.  I didn't feel there's more story to be told in Beartown -- but if he takes us there I'm iso n.

 

 A book about Benji would not form the third part of a trilogy unless he altered his action at the end of Us Against You.  The Swedish woman on Goodreads was specific that it's as you said all along, a trilogy.

 

Britt-Marie is not book two of My Grandmother nor was it a sequel, it was him pulling out a single character and writing a book about that character.  That's what a book about Benji would be.

 

He will never stop writing, it's who he is, he's a genius at it and he can't stop and he said so.  But publishing?  He's clear success is part of the problem and making the whole problem worse.  So that's another question.  He says in the blog post he's been writing but outside of his blog post(s), keeping it secret, not thinking about the publishing part that puts so much pressure on him.   How long that lasts, who knows.

 

We all hope that goes away.  Maybe it will, maybe it won't.  He doesn't know yet so how could we.  If he never publishes again he will have given the people of forty countries a great deal, a chunk of his soul.  If he decides to publish again, great but only if it doesn't cost him peace of mind.

 

To your last paragraph, "In a strange way it makes sense...," I couldn't agree more.  You can feel his pain in every book but Ove.

 

Don't know if you've read his novella "The Deal of a Lifetime."  It always made sense and I love it so much, I've read it probably ten times, but it makes soooooooooooo much more sense now.

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Re: deeply sad message from Frederik Backman


@esmerelda wrote:

I enjoyed A Man Called Ove and just finished Beartown which I only got because the one after it sounded good.  I'll have to rethink that.  Beartown was an audible download and I can listen to almost anything as I go about my day.  If I'd been reading it, I doubt I'd have gotten very far.

 

It sounds like his blog post is very sad and I won't be reading that.  Why would I?


 

 

@esmerelda, I mean this with great respect and care.  I can give you some reasons to read it and please don't be offended, this is my heart speaking not my head.  Reasons to read the blog post:

 

Because someone you know is suffering horribly and doesn't feel free to approach you and open up

 

Because someone you know is suffering horribly and you know about it and you may gain a better understanding, be better able to help them, maybe even send them a link to this post

 

Because someone you know suffered and took their life and this will shine a little light into the darkness of how that can happen with someone who seemed to be happy and to have so much to live for

 

Because someone on the forum may open up and you may be more motivated to offer a kind word, some support

 

Because you may meet a stranger having a panic attack and, remembering this post, offer them some kindness

 

Because you've had a passing little feeling like that sometime(s) in your life and now it will make more sense to you

 

Because gawd forbid you ever suffer from full-blown depression and/or anxiety yourself, and I hope you never have and I hope you never will, this post will touch you in the deepest places and validate your struggle to feel that you're not a broken human, you didn't ask for it, you're a fighter and you're doing the best you can