Book Club

[cerb]

I participated in a book club for about 5 years, and that was probably about 3 years too long, lol   I joined the book club that my mother was a member of and it just wasn't a good fit for me. I'll share my experience, and from that you might draw a few helpful insights.

First, the women were all considerably older than I was and I didn't feel that I had much in common with them.  Second, because of the age gap, they sometimes acted condescending or patronizing towards me. For example, when I would give my input, a woman would say "Well, you're still awfully young, wait until you're our age and then you'll know better" and they would all laugh.  Third, they sometimes veered off into political or religious tangents that were offensive to me.  Fourth, I didn't care for 3/4 of the books we read, and as I am a rather slow reader, I found myself spending most of reading time on books I didn't like, as the pile of books I wanted to read grew higher and higher.  Fifth, even though a couple of the women wouldn't actually read the book, they still droned on and on and on during the meetings.  Sixth, we rotating hostesses who picked the book and she would assign us a character or background material to "report" on during that months' meeting.  I thought the "reports" tended to be boring and limited some of the more interesting discussions we might have had.

Before I make it all sound negative, I'm glad that I read some books that I wouldn't have normally read.  It stretched me past my comfort zone.  Plus I got to know some intelligent women that I cared about on an individual level, if not in a group.

I would try to make sure that everyone knows the importance of being sensitive to one another's feelings.  No political or religious tirades.  If we disagree, we do it agreeably.   There are no "rights" and "wrongs", just a difference of opinion.   And if an individual is being "attacked" please come to their defense and smooth things over.  It feels terrible to feel like you're in a group of "mean girls"even though you left middle school behind decades ago.  And I'm not sure how to do it, but if one or two women are dominating the conversation, you have to find a way to cut them off so that everyone has a voice.

Hope that helps, and I really hope that you enjoy your new book club!

[Group 5 minus 1]

Chaired a book club a few years ago. One of the things I did was different ideas each week. One week it was childhood favorites.  A person brought in her Babar dolls that her Mom and Dad had made for her.

Another week it was short story books.

I do not care for the idea of all reading the same book. One gets to know others w/ideas like those.