Book Club

[theresa]

Has anyone read this book?  It was highly recommended to me by a lady who goes to the same nail salon as me.  I lost both my parents within the past year.  Mom has only been gone 2 mos. 

[conlt]

I have it but have not read the entire book yet. I did see the PBS special about this book. I am a geriatric nurse so I have a great deal of interest in life and the dying process. I have seen so much suffering on trying to find a cure in people who have terminal diseases that it troubles me. I had a friend die of cancer 6 years ago. When she was diagnosed she had stage 4 colon cancer and her doctor told her to get her affairs in order and they could do palliative care. She rejected that and found a doctor who treated her aggressivly with chemotherapy at $28,000 per dose. She lived a total of 9 months after diagnosis. 7 of those months I would say that she suffered the negetive effects of chemotherapy. I have a friend who is an interenist and we often discuss her case. He thinks she would have lived about the same 9 months but without the awful side effects she had from the medication. We were all scared in our office and the people who are not medical did not understand why she was not getting better. One night us nurses discussed if we would do CPR on her and we decided "yes" if she died on us we would have to do CPR because she wanted to live. That night we hung a CPR mask on the bulletin board where we could all reach for it in an emergency. She often came into the office ready to vomit or she would fall down. It was very stressful. I talked to her one day about just writing letters to her children who were 16 and 18. She said she would but she never did. When she died her family was stunned because they were under the impression that she was going to be OK. It was awful. I agree with the physician who wrote Being Mortal that we must discuss the reality of the situation with the patient and the family. Palliative care is a good way to go as far as quality care goes, in my opinion. My friends first doctor did do this but my friend rejected it and sought care that was ineffective and made her very sick. She had colon cancer that had spread to most of her liver and to her lungs when she was diagnosed. It was too late. Unfortunately, she was only 49 when she was diagnosed just under the recommend age for a first colonoscopy. Because of her history, her children are recommend to get their first colonoscopy at age 29. So sad and her family suffered because no one talked about it. They thought that she was going to get better. 

[mrssims]

My husband and I have discussed similar issues and agree that aggressive treatment with the possibility of a few more months of life does not always provide the quality of life any person would want.  I worked with a gentleman who was about mid-fifties who stopped all treatment as the side effects were too debilitating and he could not enjoy living with the love of his life.  He lived, traveled and loved every last minute.  Sadly, your friend wanted to live so badly that the option presented was the  path she chose.  

[KathyPet]

I lost my DH to brain cancer in Feb 2016 after 4 months in a hospital 3 hours from our home.  I read this book several months ago and found it to be life changing.   I so wish I had read it while my DH was still living.  IMHO every person over the age of 60 needs to read it.