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Can you rejoice when your friend has a victory and you don’t?

This was something a friend and I recently discussed.  The topic brought up a very strong memory for me from years ago.  Before I jump into the memory, I’ll provide you with the back story.   

My husband and I married when we were 41 & 40 respectively.  I desperately wanted children.  Because I was 40, I saw a specialist about 8 months into our marriage.  There was nothing (medically) wrong with either one of us.  So, we tried one round of artificial insemination with no luck, and went straight to IVF (invitro fertilization).  With our first try we got pregnant!  What a miracle…until I miscarried about a month later. 

Obviously, we were devastated.  Since one round of IVF was all we could do, both mentally and financially, we began to look into adoption.  We were pretty far into an overseas adoption when the laws in the country, where we were hoping to adopt, changed.  Because of my previous marriage, we were no longer eligible to adopt from there.  Another blow!  This is where my memory comes into play… 

A friend and her husband had been married awhile and decided they were ready for children.  Because of her age and other health issues, she was concerned she wouldn’t be able to get pregnant.  But she did within the first few months!  She didn’t want to tell me, and didn’t, until she couldn’t hide her belly from me any longer.  I felt awful!  Not for me, but that she thought I wouldn’t, or couldn’t, rejoice in her news.

She confided that she felt guilty for getting pregnant so quickly especially since I was having so much difficulty.  I conveyed I was genuinely excited for her, but understood her dilemma.  I never made a big deal about it; but, I was hurt.  I would have loved to give her a big hug, jump up and down & share the early journey with her. 

Regardless, I had faith that God had a plan and purpose for my journey as I knew He had one for her.   I wonder:  What if I had held resentment, jealousy, and bitterness towards my friend or any other woman’s baby bundle along the way?  Would I now be a mom to our beautiful, adopted daughter, Isabella?  (Believe me, I still pinch myself that I became a mom at 45, let alone a mom at all!)  I don’t know. 

But here’s what I do know:  Choosing to rejoice, celebrate, and cheer for the successes of others (despite my situation) bring  joy, success, and good into my life!  So, the next time you are tempted to wallow in all the negative stuff, turn your attention to another’s victory!   Once you get the hang of it, you’ll be amazed at what comes your way.   

Please share your stories of victory! 

Lots of Love…Nancy