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08-14-2014 02:31 AM
My ex would occasionally comment from time to time that he thought I looked good without makeup and didn't need it. It was a statement, simply his opinion. I took it as the compliment he intended it to be, and continued to wear makeup.
He never told him what to do or what not to do. There's a huge difference between making a comment and trying to control someone.
08-14-2014 02:43 AM
It is not going to be easy to be in a relationship and not be yourself. If you enjoy makeup isn't that part of the package.
To be honest most men have no idea what is make up and what isn't - most guys say they don't like makeup but they prefer women with makeup that is worn in a natural style.
Here is a quick article about just this question - it was interesting to me. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2648628/Do-men-REALLY-prefer-natural-look-FEMAIL-pits-vamp...
I think it is important to be true to yourself and let that guide your decisions. We can't change our mates and we shouldn't abandon who we are to be in a relationship.
08-14-2014 02:53 AM
I personally would wear it anyway, since it makes me happy and helps with my self-esteem and self-confidence. Just as clothing and accessories do.
And then I would hope that my companion would get therapy ASAP for his feelings of insecurity and misogynistic ownership.
Oh, and as far as him not "wanting" you to wear cosmetics, he should get over himself and stop arrogantly thinking he's your boss. He should always want what brings you joy, just as you do with him.
But you surely could let your mate know that there are some things that he does that you don't necessarily care for, but you let it go as you want him to be the best version of himself.
Just as he should do with you.
Hope things work out for you, Persephonel.
P.S.:
I wouldn't even date someone that selfish, much less be in a relationship with them.
08-14-2014 03:48 AM
Most of the posts here say, "run! Red flag! The guy's trouble! He's a control freak! Dump him!".....Kind of weird considering they don't know the guy. Yes, I know, I'm probably going to take plenty of verbal heat for posting that. *shrugs*
Anyway, maybe try asking him why he prefers you to not wear makeup.
08-14-2014 04:09 AM
On 8/14/2014 NC Bandwagon said:Amen to that!! No man on this earth is worth all that!!Most of the posts here say, "run! Red flag! The guy's trouble! He's a control freak! Dump him!".....Kind of weird considering they don't know the guy. Yes, I know, I'm probably going to take plenty of verbal heat for posting that. *shrugs*
Anyway, maybe try asking him why he prefers you to not wear makeup.
08-14-2014 07:31 AM
You have to do what makes you feel comfortable and happy. If makeup makes you feel more confident and attractive, then why shouldn't you wear it?
I wear very little these days and since I have gotten older, less seems to be better for me. Since I have started wearing less, DH said he likes the way I look much better with less. He says I look younger and more approachable. ????? I appreciate his comments and I just smiled when he said this. But if I wanted to wear more, I would!
In any event, I would take his opinion into consideration about it and then I would do what I felt was best for me. It's your face and you have a right to adorn it (or not) as you see fit.
If someone truly cares about you, they will respect that. And want you to do what makes you happy.
08-14-2014 07:51 AM
I do get the sense that there is something missing here. Trust your instincts. If it bothered you enough to post this then..... I suspect there is something about your conversation with your mate that made you uncomfortable. In a situation such as this, it is hard for us to say what we would do. A lot would depend on what your response was and his reaction to your response. Since we don't know how he responded .....it leaves too much open for speculation and leads to "uninformed advice" which is never a good thing. You probably already know that!! Don't worry....we have all probably done it a time or two. It might be a good idea to read a book on "boundaries" if your thoughts on this were bothering you enough to post it. Again....Trust your gut....you posted this for a reason. I won't bug you again.....Good luck.
08-14-2014 08:47 AM
Tell him to take up golf! You dress and make up or not for YOU, not for any man. If he doesn't like it - he'll need to get used to it if he wants to be with you, now won't he? And if you have this issue with him, there will be others. You don't work for him - you are supposed to be his mate - the other half of his team...........................
08-14-2014 09:00 AM
Some people like makeup other do not. Not liking makeup does not make someone controlling. Some women like men with beards, others do not.
In this case, I would wear a little to just polish my look. That usually looks better than seeing a lot of makeup. This is true for me anyway
08-14-2014 10:37 AM
it definitely sounds like the beginning of control. Buy more makeup and let him go.
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