Beauty

[Vivian]

Stop worrying. Do the best you can and, after that, don’t sweat the small stuff. When I was in college I was in beauty contests. I was considered a beautiful young woman with face and figure to prove it. I am now 72, with a face and figure to prove that too! I’ve survived two cancers,my kids’ two divorces, my husband’s Alzheimer’s, and numerous other slings and arrows of life. I learned to take things a day at a time. I also learned to do the best I can to look good...not for a twenty-something but for a seventy-something. My daughters are past 50. They both look beautiful, but they don’t look like nubile young things. They look like gorgeous middle aged women.

[tsavorite]

This has been a wonderful thread to read....brings tears to my eyes!!  I can't say I ever had "looks" in the sense the world told me a young woman growing up in the 70's needed.  I have frizzy hair...bad skin (rosacea/acne)....and low self esteem most of my life.  In my 30's when rosacea hit big time I was devastated.  I had people just kinda stare at me and say "what IS IT"....or my young sons would tell me I had boo boo's all over my face.  I found others suffering with it online and then did some things they were doing and it helped me.  The rosacea will never go away (I wish with all my heart) but after accutane 10mg low dose for 1yr....and MANY IPL and BBL plus some laser treatments it is manageable and I can cover it with foundation.  I still remember the day in the derm's office....my 3 sons were zooming around the room impatient to go....and the derm looked at me but never touched my face...said you have a severe/bad case of rosacea....handed me a pamphlet with very scary disfigured photos inside it.  Told me there wasn't much to help and I would end up looking like this....but to be glad it wasn't fatal.  I went home that day...devastated.....ya I lost my looks alright and hope after that day for a good while.  But some how thur a gardening website a poster mentioned rosacea (I know I was on there for rose bush advice forum LOL) and they put up a link to a new forum for it and that began a journey to find some help.  God heard my prayer....and many yrs later it's better....alot better.

I force myself to look at myself in the mirror....no foundation and to not feel ashamed...I used to feel ashamed BIG TIME.  I then put on my SPF and foundation....and believe it or not but I actually get compliments on my skin LOL!  When it happens I think if they only knew what was under this foundation.  I thank them and go on my way.

At some point I had to learn to accept myself....the disease I have and how I have aged now 54.  Sure I have bags under my eyes now....some sagging in the neck area...but knowing where I came from in my 30's I just smile and think I look pretty good for my age and focus on pursuing health.  

That is another journey I am on....only recently I think I may have found out what has been causing my chronic fatigue....and that there may be a possibility of feeling more energy and increase my strength/build muscle.  This is most important...the quality of my life as I age.  

[beautybee]

@Beautiful life    Many of us were ridiculed, bullied, abused for one reason or another. At some point you have to figure out that those people don't matter anymore. It was their own insecurity, jelousy, or mental illness that caused them to make you a target, it had nothing to do with you. Is your husband a Cary Grant look alike that he can pass judgement on your weight (I'm joking here, but I hope you get what I am saying). And your daughter calling you ugly, if she has seen you disrespect yourself and your husband disrespecting you, then she is going to follow along. Those of us who are easy going, quiet, and accomodating are the ones who may become targets. So it's o.k. to be all these things, the world needs those qualities in people. However, we also need to remember to set bounderies so that people don't disprespect us.

I urge you to formulate a plan to make yourself happy and don't share it with anybody. If your neck really bothers you, then start saving a bit of money here and there for a future neck lift. Maybe by the time you save all the money it won't matter because you will be happy with the way you look and with the way you respect yourself. It's a process.

You MUST be your own best friend. It took me many years to come to this realization. Be prepared as you get healthier for people to become more defensive and mean.Especially if it is family members. But they will come around once they realize their words don't mean anything anymore. And don't ever put yourself down, especially in front of people, because that gives them permission to treat you unkind.

[silkyk]

If you lose'em go find them! It ain't over till it's over and a thing of beauty is a joy forever so be that "thing" and get to work finding your new mature beauty.

[Beautiful life]

You ladies are so wonderful. I got bullied my entire childhood for being overweight school was torture. My mom hated the fact that I was fat.I know my mom wanted me to lose weight because she felt men didn’t like heavy women and wanted me to find someone. She continued with my daughter telling me she’ll never find anyone until she loses weight. Maybe her parents told her the same thing. 

You ladies are correct. I need to not let my daughters remarks get to me. I told her she will be my age one day and your going to be in the same boat. 

[skittles2]

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@tsavorite wrote:

This has been a wonderful thread to read....brings tears to my eyes!!  I can't say I ever had "looks" in the sense the world told me a young woman growing up in the 70's needed.  I have frizzy hair...bad skin (rosacea/acne)....and low self esteem most of my life.  In my 30's when rosacea hit big time I was devastated.  I had people just kinda stare at me and say "what IS IT"....or my young sons would tell me I had boo boo's all over my face.  I found others suffering with it online and then did some things they were doing and it helped me.  The rosacea will never go away (I wish with all my heart) but after accutane 10mg low dose for 1yr....and MANY IPL and BBL plus some laser treatments it is manageable and I can cover it with foundation.  I still remember the day in the derm's office....my 3 sons were zooming around the room impatient to go....and the derm looked at me but never touched my face...said you have a severe/bad case of rosacea....handed me a pamphlet with very scary disfigured photos inside it.  Told me there wasn't much to help and I would end up looking like this....but to be glad it wasn't fatal.  I went home that day...devastated.....ya I lost my looks alright and hope after that day for a good while.  But some how thur a gardening website a poster mentioned rosacea (I know I was on there for rose bush advice forum LOL) and they put up a link to a new forum for it and that began a journey to find some help.  God heard my prayer....and many yrs later it's better....alot better.

I force myself to look at myself in the mirror....no foundation and to not feel ashamed...I used to feel ashamed BIG TIME.  I then put on my SPF and foundation....and believe it or not but I actually get compliments on my skin LOL!  When it happens I think if they only knew what was under this foundation.  I thank them and go on my way.

At some point I had to learn to accept myself....the disease I have and how I have aged now 54.  Sure I have bags under my eyes now....some sagging in the neck area...but knowing where I came from in my 30's I just smile and think I look pretty good for my age and focus on pursuing health.  

That is another journey I am on....only recently I think I may have found out what has been causing my chronic fatigue....and that there may be a possibility of feeling more energy and increase my strength/build muscle.  This is most important...the quality of my life as I age.  

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@tsavorite 

"This has been a wonderful thread to read....brings tears to my eyes!! "

YOUR post has been a wonderful thread to read!!  

Uplifting,

Thank you