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09-16-2021 06:30 PM
From today's daily New Yorker e mail:
Thank you so much for calling the Skin-Care Hotline! We know that products, tools, and complexion complexities can be confusing, but we’re here to help you face these challenges head on.
If you accidentally spilled a brutally expensive serum on your countertop and are looking for consolation, please press 1.
If your face is on fire because you didn’t read a product’s directions carefully, we’d say press 2, but we know how you are with directions.
If you saw a sponsored ad for a twenty-nine-dollar beauty tool that promises to erase wrinkles and make pores disappear while it gently massages your face and whispers compliments, please press 3 and we’ll transfer you to the Better Business Bureau.
If you bought that tool anyway, despite its magic-based claims, we completely understand.
Press 4 if your five-step skin-care routine is denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance/filters, and you’d like suggestions for something a little more tangible.
If you gave yourself a D.I.Y. kitchen-steam facial (from a pot of boiling pasta water or the end of the dishwasher cycle), you’re clearly just calling to brag because that’s very crafty, and we applaud your ingenuity.
If you don’t want to feel left out when people talk about microdermabrasion, jade rollers, hyaluronic acid, activated charcoal, snail mucin, and other skin-care words that aren’t just “soap,” press 5 and we’ll catch you up.
If you are a man wanting to know if it’s cool to keep using the dog shampoo as face wash, please hang up and continue to live your life with wild abandon.
09-16-2021 06:50 PM - edited 09-16-2021 08:48 PM
EVERYONE HAS TO READ THE OP FOR A GREAT LAUGH‼️‼️‼️‼️ I've added a few of my own below.
09-16-2021 06:51 PM
LOL @JustJazzmom ! Very clever... Thanks for posting. 😁
09-16-2021 07:01 PM
Now that's funny ! 🤣😂🤣
09-16-2021 07:33 PM
@JustJazzmom This is great! So funny.
09-16-2021 08:08 PM
@JustJazzmom just the laugh I needed after a busy afternoon at work! Thanks for posting!
09-16-2021 08:09 PM
@Mindy D - great additions! Too funny!
09-16-2021 11:28 PM
I would never press 5! I would cover myself if all the luxury brand skincare and makeup and be blissfully laying in all of it when they arrested me the next morning.
CBD brownies are NO joke. Ask me how I know lol
If hubby was going to have me committed it would have been when he first saw me with a facial sheet mask....no, the gel undereye patches freak him out more than that for some reason.
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