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Honored Contributor
Posts: 17,005
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Thanks For Calling the Skin Care Hotline

From today's daily New Yorker e mail:

 

Thank you so much for calling the Skin-Care Hotline! We know that products, tools, and complexion complexities can be confusing, but we’re here to help you face these challenges head on.

 

If you accidentally spilled a brutally expensive serum on your countertop and are looking for consolation, please press 1.

If your face is on fire because you didn’t read a product’s directions carefully, we’d say press 2, but we know how you are with directions.

 

If you saw a sponsored ad for a twenty-nine-dollar beauty tool that promises to erase wrinkles and make pores disappear while it gently massages your face and whispers compliments, please press 3 and we’ll transfer you to the Better Business Bureau.

If you bought that tool anyway, despite its magic-based claims, we completely understand.

 

Press 4 if your five-step skin-care routine is denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance/filters, and you’d like suggestions for something a little more tangible.

 

If you gave yourself a D.I.Y. kitchen-steam facial (from a pot of boiling pasta water or the end of the dishwasher cycle), you’re clearly just calling to brag because that’s very crafty, and we applaud your ingenuity.

 

If you don’t want to feel left out when people talk about microdermabrasion, jade rollers, hyaluronic acid, activated charcoal, snail mucin, and other skin-care words that aren’t just “soap,” press 5 and we’ll catch you up.

 

If you are a man wanting to know if it’s cool to keep using the dog shampoo as face wash, please hang up and continue to live your life with wild abandon.

 

 

☼The best place to seek God is in a garden. You can dig for him there. GBShaw☼
Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,691
Registered: ‎05-23-2010

Re: Thanks For Calling the Skin Care Hotline

[ Edited ]

EVERYONE HAS TO READ THE OP FOR A GREAT LAUGH‼️‼️‼️‼️ I've added a few of my own below.

Press 5 if your lost in an aisle in Sephora after closing and you need a first responder to come and get you out.
Press 6 if you are trying CBD oil on your face and the fumes are making you suddenly crave 
brownies and you have no deserts in the house. 
Press 7 if you told your husband you are busy baking your face and he is trying to have you committed to a psychiatric facility. 

 

 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 10,213
Registered: ‎11-16-2014

Re: Thanks For Calling the Skin Care Hotline

LOL @JustJazzmom ! Very clever... Thanks for posting. 😁

Honored Contributor
Posts: 11,912
Registered: ‎05-23-2015

Re: Thanks For Calling the Skin Care Hotline

Now that's funny ! 🤣😂🤣

" You are entitled to your opinion. But you are not entitled to your own facts."
Daniel Patrick Moynihan
Valued Contributor
Posts: 500
Registered: ‎12-13-2020

Re: Thanks For Calling the Skin Care Hotline

@JustJazzmom  This is great! So funny.Woman LOL

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,257
Registered: ‎07-11-2010

Re: Thanks For Calling the Skin Care Hotline

@JustJazzmom just the laugh I needed after a busy afternoon at work!  Thanks for posting!

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,257
Registered: ‎07-11-2010

Re: Thanks For Calling the Skin Care Hotline

@Mindy D - great additions!  Too funny!

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,244
Registered: ‎03-16-2010

Re: Thanks For Calling the Skin Care Hotline

I would never press 5!  I would cover myself if all the luxury brand skincare and makeup and be blissfully laying in all of it when they arrested me the next morning.  

 

CBD brownies are NO joke.  Ask me how I know lol

 

If hubby was going to have me committed it would have been when he first saw me with a facial sheet mask....no, the gel undereye patches freak him out more than that for some reason.