Should I be honest- UPDATE - Page 2

monicakm · ‎03-16-2010

I haven't read the other responses yet. I don't want to be swayed by their thoughts. I'd say it depends on your relationship with her. It depends on how she takes constructive criticism from you. Does she normally take it well? My mother and I could do this. I'd like to be able to do this with my daughter but can NOT. She's more the type like "if I want your opinion I'll ask for it" Mom and I are the opposite as long as it's done in a caring way and it is. She is my biggest fan so I know any advice from her is heartfelt.

OTOH, in the big scheme of things, is it that important that you risk hurting her feelings? Maybe she has a need to cling to something from her youth. If the situation ever presents it's self where it seems quite organic, maybe you could "play" with her hair and see how she reacts to a different length. I recently asked my 82 year old mother if she thought she might be getting close to or ready to go gray. She hollered NOT ON YOUR LIFE! Okie dokie. Message received! LOL

mspatmac · ‎06-10-2015

Key word here is "tell". Many of us don't like to be told or criticized especially by grown daughters LOL. Maybe gently suggest a trim because the ends look split, or gently suggest some shaping to "help" achieve the look she wants. Complain how your hair has changed etc. Reverse the psychology your mom used on you growing up. That's what my DD'ers do with me and I let them think I don't know what their doing but most times they know what their talking about.

AuntG · ‎03-09-2010

Not knowing you mom makes it hard to offer advice. I think I'd remind her that the old photo was filtered and involved a lot of effort before they snapped the picture. Tell her how nice she looks with her hair at chin length.

Mary Bailey · ‎03-09-2010

I have another "Let it go/her hair her choice" vote

The growing out stage is always awkward. It could be fabulous.

Porcelain · ‎02-19-2014

One key skill to growing older happily is to develop a healthy sense of delusion.

Let her think she looks like her old glamour shot since that makes her happy. In my opinion, this isn't important enough of an issue (unlike a health or safety topic) to insist on intruding with reality.

If you want to support her by giving her a great conditioner or hair dryer for longer hair etc, that would be helping her do what she wants to do successfully and would be very nice of you.

When you’re accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression.
"Power without love is reckless and abusive, and love without power is sentimental and anemic." - Dr. Martin Luther King Jr

MarieIG · ‎03-10-2010

Let it go.

If she asks you what is your favorite length on her, you can tell her she looks great in the chin length, but I would not criticize her appearance.

Do the math.

pugvette74 · ‎06-11-2010

@Abrowneyegirl Please let her be. It sounds like she is excited about growing her hair. It's her hair and her decision.

CatsyCline · ‎07-24-2013

i would let Mom do her thing! she sounds fun! she may tire of it. i have long hair and i'm 64.

years ago one of the 60ish exec admins where i worked had short S&P gray hair and decided to grow it long. took a while. when it got to the right length she fixed it in a ponytail with a black velvet Pamela Smart bow. it would have been fine but she was not a pleasant personality and had a perpetual RBF.

Desi · ‎03-09-2010

We all see ouselves when we felt young and pretty - until we look in the mirror. Let her grow it. Get her products to enhance what she has, and go with her for a trim, not an ambush short cut. All that matters is how she feels and if she feels longer is more how she sees herself, let it go. If you have an app. where you can upload her face with different hairstyles that might be helpful, but not to make your case. Just to show her possibilities.