Re: Should I be honest

Katcat1 · ‎07-21-2011

@Abrowneyegirl I was always honest with my mother. Sometimes what you say to her will give her time to think, hopefully. Enjoy the rest of your weekend.

kindness is strength

IMW · ‎06-15-2014

Be honest once and then never mention it again.

tiny 2 · ‎03-10-2010

@Abrowneyegirl

Leave it alone. The key communication is that she doesn't like to style her hair. It was a total myth that short (various lengths) hair is easier. I worked myself to death.

Mine required so much work to get that effortless look. I finally decided to let it grow and my hairdresser continued to shred the ends which did not do what it was supposed to do (lighter, fuller NOT). It just looked like a thin wispy mess on the ends.

During Covid I just cut it myself with layers around the face, with no point cutting, odd angles, etc. and now I have nice thick hair again. I wash it, put some product in, scrunch a little and I'm done. My hair hasn't seen a dryer or curling iron since. A bonus is that I am getting more compliments on my hair than I ever did with a pixie, inverted bob(ugh) etc.

Does it frizz a little with southern humidity? YES! I am embracing the wild, LOL. I like the versatility of being able to wear it up and off of my neck during hot days. I like the feel of weight and movement in my hair. It feels feminine and natural.

suzyQ3 · ‎03-09-2010

@tiny 2 wrote:
@Abrowneyegirl

Leave it alone. The key communication is that she doesn't like to style her hair. It was a total myth that short (various lengths) hair is easier. I worked myself to death.

Mine required so much work to get that effortless look. I finally decided to let it grow and my hairdresser continued to shred the ends which did not do what it was supposed to do (lighter, fuller NOT). It just looked like a thin wispy mess on the ends.

During Covid I just cut it myself with layers around the face, with no point cutting, odd angles, etc. and now I have nice thick hair again. I wash it, put some product in, scrunch a little and I'm done. My hair hasn't seen a dryer or curling iron since. A bonus is that I am getting more compliments on my hair than I ever did with a pixie, inverted bob(ugh) etc.

Does it frizz a little with southern humidity? YES! I am embracing the wild, LOL. I like the versatility of being able to wear it up and off of my neck during hot days. I like the feel of weight and movement in my hair. It feels feminine and natural.

We must be sisters, @tiny 2

~Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle~ Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

Tadaki · ‎03-10-2010

@Abrowneyegirl I would definitely somehow work in how much you loved her chin length and maybe you have a great photo of that look. I wouldn't say that you don't like it now. Only she can decide that she's no longer looking like the old photo.

I can't tell you how many people I see who are letting their hair grow, as well as letting it go gray. Mine is much longer than usual because my hairdresser was closed and now that she's open has cut back on hours. I feel like it looks a hot mess most days, but oh well. I will definitely be getting mine cut, but it just seems people are going natural. Maybe, as someone else suggested, there are now products that would help manage her long hair.

Icegoddess · ‎03-19-2010

@RealtyGal2 wrote:
@Abrowneyegirl wrote:
with my mother or just let it go....

My mother keeps telling me she is letting her hair grow and every few weeks when I see her it is just getting more and more wild and unruly because she does not like to style her hair.
She has thick hair with natural wave/curl - we are blessed with hair in our family BUT humidity is not our friend.

Finally, I asked her, what is her plan? She told me she found an old flattering photo of herself when her hair was long she looked so soft and fresh so she is growing her hair.

I now realize she is talking about a Glamor Shots photo from 40 years ago. Remember those?
You went in and they professionally styled your hair, did your make-up, and took filtered photos that were highly edited.

For some reason, she thinks it was the hair that gave her that soft young look because now her hair is shorter she looks older.

Should I remind her we are all older and have changed and the long hair is not the fountain of youth? Great lighting and photoshop is but for real-life come on. I am older now than she was in that photo then!!!

She and her hair look FABULOUS when it is in a chin-length style that removes the weight and allows the curl to shine. She also has great skin.

Should I be honest with her or just let it go? I do not want to burst her bubble but......

My Mother rarely listens to me. I could give her the same advice for 6 months and she will ignor it until a complete stranger, she just met on the street, tells her the same thing I have been telling her. Then she tells me about it as though it is new information and gospel. Your Mother will figure it out. She has to try it first and see for herself what the truth is.

@RealtyGal2 Your mother sounds just like my husband.

NicksmomESQ · ‎08-19-2014

Let it be. Let her believe what she chooses to. It's not hurting anybody.

Shaunac · ‎09-22-2010

If she has a natural wave/curl, could it be she just needs the right product? Most waving or curly hair needs some type of product to tame it, otherwise, it will be a wild mess. Does she use anything?

How old is she?

My mom has naturally curly hair and she tries to straighten it--and it looks like it and not in a good way. I don't say anything because she never listens to me anyway.

It really just depends on your relationship with her and how open to suggestion she is.

jubilant · ‎06-10-2010

Unless she asks for your opinion, my advice is to let it go. What you see.... and what she see's in the mirror.... is obviously two different things.

I could ask 10 people what they thought of me in red lipstick. Five might love it and 5 might think it looks ridiculous on me.

Choices we make can be personal preference due to a varity of reasons. How it looks is only one. Ease of care, experimenting, etc.

People need to come to their own conclusions.

My feeling (at least with my daughter) is........If I want her opinion on something like this...I will ask for it. That goes both ways. If she wears something I think she looks awful in or dyes her hair a color I find unflattering I keep my mouth zipped unless she says,
"Mom, I want your honest opinion".