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Re: Recent hair trimming experience and seeking your opinion and advice


@Porcelain wrote:

The minute I registered I was feeling shamed by a stylist, I would shut her down. I want to leave a salon feeling wonderful, not pathetic.

 

"I'm here for a hair trim. I understand what you are saying, but I don't want to hear any more about the condition of my hair." Then change the subject. If she continues. "Sounds like my hair might be too challenging for what you like to do. Let's bring over another stylist who can feel more comfortable." Life's too short to listen to that carp.

 

Don't let that lady drive you away from your salon. Just request someone else.


@Porcelain 

 

I know that you are right.  I should have been more forceful.  I just allowed her to tell me things which I accepted because I was feeling vulnterable about my hair.  It was wrong of her to take this approach and wrong of me to allow her.  Won't happen again that's for sure!  Thank you for your post! 

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night." - Steve Martin
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Re: Recent hair trimming experience and seeking your opinion and advice


@cantdrive55 wrote:

I feel your pain, my hair issues are similar to yours. It’s  not easy getting older & I am especially distressed about my hair.

This is my action plan

* bought a nice boar & nylon bristle brush  by Fromm (eBay $12.49- search & you’ll find it)

*once a week I put coconut oil (Aldi) on my hair for a few hours or overnight, then wash

 *to calm down the damage & frizz, I’ll use my Babyliss hot rollers on the crown

*taking the hair, skin & nails vitamins

*bought a shampoo at Sally’s that removes minerals (well water) 

It’s making a difference, and last, but not least-

* found a new hairdresser, going this week!

Hope this helps


@cantdrive55 

Thank you for all of your suggestions.  Who knew that a person's hair would even get "old"?  I sure didn't.  You just take things for granted and then - BOOM -- they're gone!  I appreciate your post! 

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night." - Steve Martin
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Re: Recent hair trimming experience and seeking your opinion and advice


@VenturaHighway wrote:

@AngelPuppy1  I have always felt that it is better to go to a beauty shop and stick with one person. After a few times, they know your hair and what you need and want in a haircut.

 

 


@VenturaHighway 

 

Very good advice.  Now, the trick is to just find that someone!!!  

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night." - Steve Martin
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Re: Recent hair trimming experience and seeking your opinion and advice


@SeaMaiden wrote:

@AngelPuppy1  I totally know how you felt and  how it made you feel bad.  There are things we all are sensitive talking about.  Things we are unhappy with on our bodies. We just do not need it pointed out.

 

I think the hairdresser did not mean to make you feel bad....or was trying to just sell product.  Most likely she thought you did not know or realize the condition of your hair and wanted to give you helpful advice.  You mentioned that she said it in a kind way. 

 

Take what she said, and just let it go.  It is just a chapter in our book of life...

 

probably stopping coloring as you have done  would be good... 5 years ago I cut my long colored hair super short and grew it out grey.  It is much healthier now. Yes, many of us get that thinning in the temple area etc. maybe try one of those laser caps that QVC sells  Might be a good investment for you? 

 

Conditioners only do so much.... 


@SeaMaiden 

Thanks so much for your post.  I believe she was trying to be helpful in a way but her "bedside manner" was not good!  I am just going to put it behind me, but it did sting!  Lesson learned, I guess! 

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night." - Steve Martin
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Re: Recent hair trimming experience and seeking your opinion and advice


@chrystaltree wrote:

I think they are being pushed to sell sell sell their products.  I also think your hair has problems  and she was trying to be do her job and be helpful but  girl's  customer service skills are incredibly weak.  Also, you said she's young so she can't relate to how some older women feel about their hair.  Honestly, at 59, it wouldn't have bothered me one little bit.  Why would it?  I certainly would not have taken it personally.  She's a hairdresser, I'm not.  I'd have listened and if I didn't agree with her, I'd have said something noncommital like "well that's a lot to think about" and then I would have told her what I wanted her to do.  I think you were upset because you know some of what she said is true and you didn't like hearing it.  You husband is a peach of guy but sometimes, we really do need to hear the truth, even if we don't want too.  I have a different relationship with hairdressers.  I like experienced hairdressers so I'd never go to some young thing.  I don't go to those mall places.  I've been going to the same shop for several years now and I know she's a pro so I don't really tell her what to do with my hair, we collaborate and I rely on her for advice about products and how to care for my hair.    


@chrystaltree 

 

I appreciate your post.  We are all different in how we react to things.  These comments did bother me a lot.  What bothered me the most though was that she just kept on and on and totally trashed my hair.  I had not asked her for her opinion at all.  She could merely have said -- your hair is a little dry and it seems as though you might have a tendency to have frizz -- something of this nature.  I accept constructive crtiticism gladly if its done in a proper fashion.  And yes, there was some truth in what she said.  I already stated that I am at a point where I am sensitive about my hair due to health issues, medications and aging, my hair is not what it was.  But it is no where in the horrible condition that she made it out to be.  I don't want to be lied to regarding anything just to make me feel better.  And my husband is pretty blunt.  If something looks terrible, he will come out and tell you.  For instance, if I said the typical thing like --- does this make my butt look big -- he's say ---- sure does!  LOL!

So, yeah, does my hair need improvement???  Sure.  Did I know that? Sure.  Delivery of criticism is everything though in my book.  Yes, I do agree with you in that I need a hairdress that is open to my needs and wants.  

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night." - Steve Martin
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Re: Recent hair trimming experience and seeking your opinion and advice


@Isobel Archer wrote:

 I definitely think she was trying to sell you products.

 

Until I found my current hair stylist, I was always told my hair was awful and I needed probably hundreds of dollars in products to ever hope to have hair that wouldn't frighten children.

 

Of course a lot of this was also back in the days of permanents -  and later teasing - where my baby fine hair was frizzed by these same stylists - who then blamed the "condition" of my hair for the resulting dryness, split ends,  etc.

 

For the last 15+ years (and I am 68), my current stylist has never tried to sell me anything.  I color my hair and use good shampoos and conditioners and my hair is great - soft, shiny, etc.

 

This is why I also never go to makeovers at the cosmetic counters.  I do better figuring it out myself than being told my skin needs more and more products.


@Isobel Archer 

 

Yes, I guess its like that.  Money making no matter if you make a person feel lousy or not!!  LOL

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night." - Steve Martin
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Re: Recent hair trimming experience and seeking your opinion and advice


@Carmie wrote:

Since you wear your hair in a bob style and are letting the color grow out, I would imagine you have two toned hair...a line somewhere depending on where your virgin hair is next to colored treated hair.

 

Colored treated hair tends to be dry. If your hair frizzes, it probably is dry.

 

Without trying to be mean, maybe you do need to condition your hair.  If you would cut off the  colored treated hair, you would have your natural virgin hair, which I am sure is in great shape, since you do not abuse it and you,would not have that two toned growing in look.

 

Hairdressers are professionals who take care of your hair.  I don't know if she was trying to sell you products or was suggesting good ideas for you to make your hair look better. How  long have you been wearing your  hair styled the same way? Would a new style update your look and be more flattering and make you look more youthful?

 

I don't color and I am salt and pepper.  I know I need a style to make me look more youthful.  If you wear your hair gray, you need a stylish upbeat haircut.

 

As always, it is your hair and you have full control of what you want to use on it and what style to wear.  I don't think the hairdresser was trying to hurt your feelings, she was just offering suggestions for you to have your hair in better condition and make you look your best.

 

 


@Carmie 

 

I have a lo of re-growth but I have a lot to go.  Luckily my salt and pepper is pretty light so the line is not as horrible as you might think.  If I were to cut if all off at this point, I'd have to have a really, really short hair cut and I'm not prepared to do that.  Sure, I could use a change and as I have posted in other replies here, I have been trying to decide what I want to do, but havent't decided yet.  I don't think her intentions were really to upset me but she had no tact whatsoever.  She needs to learn to temper her approach.  Not a good way to approach senior citizens who are struggling with their changing hair issues.  Thanks so much for your post!

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night." - Steve Martin
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Re: Recent hair trimming experience and seeking your opinion and advice


@Regal Bee wrote:

@AngelPuppy1   I think she was trying to sell you products and she was also totally lacking in grace. If she were sensitive to your needs, she could have easily seen she was upsetting you.

 

I would find someone else to do my hair. Life is too short to be upset over a haircut.  


@Regal Bee 

 

Very well said and thank you.  Yes, some people are clueless or seem to be and though they may have skills in their job do not have the social skills in dealing appropriately with people. 

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night." - Steve Martin
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Re: Recent hair trimming experience and seeking your opinion and advice


@jannabelle1 wrote:

@AngelPuppy1, you know your hair and you know how to deal with it....ignore the sales pitch, because that's what it was. Your sweet hubby gave you a wonderful compliment, so please don't let her affect your self confidence.

 

I use Elizabeth Arden's 8 Hour oil lightly on my face every day, and whatever is still on my fingertips gets run through my hair - the frizzy ends. It doesn't totally get rid of the frizz, but it helps!

 


@jannabelle1 

My hair has always had a life of its own and I've joked and said --- my hair is the boss!  And it always has been--- what is feels like doing --- it does!!!  I have pretty much let it have its way my whole life but now I have to try and take control --- no easy task!!!!  

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night." - Steve Martin
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Re: Recent hair trimming experience and seeking your opinion and advice


@lavendar wrote:

I have followed the man who colors my hair for about twenty five years. I get a cut every two to three months at a shop around the corner.

 

The colorist is at a high end salon. He has never said anything about my coarse, dry hair that I torture. What he does do is after he does color and my hair is wet he puts some argan oil on it and sits me under the dryer. The owner has not figured out how to charge extra for this. Conditioners work best with heat. Washing them out is a waste. I just replaced the heat cap I bought in high school. I had coarse dry virgin hair when I was sixteen.

 

The woman who cuts my hair started giving me the spiel about how damaged my hair is. I lost a thirty six year remission from Crohn's disease and when I was in the hospital for eighteen days it was shedding all over my bed. The clorox in the sheets didn't help. I sleep on a silk pillowcase.

 

I said, "my doctor thinks it's amazing that I have any hair left." That shut her up. Neither person has tried to sell me anything.

 

The late Nora Ephron said the best kept secret about death is there are no bad hair days.

 

Hair is a very, very personal thing for men and women. I'd be upset also.

 

The woman who cuts my hair


@lavendar 

 

What a wonderful attitude you have and what a nice post!  I so appreciate it!

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night." - Steve Martin